Just Say
by reincarnatedcrazybutterfly
Summary: NOMINATED at the Indie Twific Awards.“What if we’re not meant to be with each other as well?” Bella asked. “So?” Jasper replied. “Um…” “Then make a mistake with me.” He whispered. Complimentary Story to the oneshot songfic, SAY ALL I NEED.
1. Chapter 1: Ponder First

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor One Republic.

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**Summary:**

SEQUEL to the one-shot SAY (ALL I NEED). NonCannon. "What if we're not meant to be with each other as well?" "So?" "Um…" "Then make a mistake with me." He whispered.

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**AN: I got nice responses from my one-shot. You should check it out before reading this. It's quite short, an easy read. It's "Say (All I Need)" a songfic based on the band, One Republic's song which is the title of the fic. As of now, it's Jasper and Bella but I don't know, it might change… we'll see.**

**This is in Jasper's POV from now on.**

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_I was starting to find my heart again… maybe Jasper and me were the ones meant to be…_

_We broke apart from our kiss so I could breathe. We were both panting but I was still confused._

"_I'm… I'm sorry Jasper… I…" he placed a finger on my mouth to silence me. "Shh… I understand. I'll wait until you're ready… for anything…"_

"_Just…"_

"_Just?" I asked._

_Jasper grinned again, his golden hair falling on his eyes again. He bent down and whispered in my ear, __"Just say." **(Excerpt from my oneshot, "Say (All I Need)"**  
_

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**Chapter 1: Ponder First**

Jasper's POV:

I glanced at Bella and offered a friendly smile. She smiled back uneasily but I know she was feeling very confused and guilty. She must be thinking about Edward. I decided to take her to my family's house in Forks. She didn't want to go home yet, probably wanting to be herself other than the charade she was playing. I offered to drive and promised to keep to the speed limit – Bella's speed limit that is.

She looked up at me and opened her mouth to say something but decided against it. Now she was emitting nervousness.

"You can tell me anything Bella. You don't have to be shy. I know we've never been the closest friends from before but I did regard you then only not as much as I do now." I said gently.

She looked up at me and gave a half-smile, "Jasper… about… you know…."

"Edward?"

She nodded then sighed.

I thought for a while. Edward left Bella not because he didn't love her but because he wanted Bella to live a normal life. But I know, of course I would know how bad that was for Edward.

It was always painful to even get near Edward. It was like everything that he was, was removed from him and replaced with pain and anguish. Everyone opposed to his move but he insisted on it. Why must Edward be so self-denying?

He wanted Bella to be with him forever even if that meant changing her. He wanted her more than anything in the world. He loved her. No, he still loves her. Without Bella he was empty and broken. All his sorrow and feelings rolled off of him like a ball of glass shards cutting through him over and over and of course, I felt every stab due to my talent.

I looked at Bella and her face was expectant. Everything that Edward felt, she mirrored. She was empty and lifeless without Edward. But Bella, being selfless that she was, set all her feelings aside and decided to make everyone satisfied by displaying a show that she has moved on. She lived almost mechanically, like a robot. Everything was routine, like she didn't care anymore.

I wanted to bump both of their heads together and tell them that they should be together. I cannot stand seeing both of them live like they were walking pain with heads.

"Bella, it's really not any of our business to tell you how Edward is right now. All I can say is that he is in Europe right now. Please don't misunderstand my motives of not telling you how he is. What is between you two, stays between you too. I'm just here to make sure you're all right."

She nodded, "I see. That's fair."

So where do I fit in?

_Sigh._

Aside from the guilt I felt for being the catalyst for the exodus of our family, I had another thing to be guilty for. Besides being one of the reasons of their separation, which I know in my guts that is temporary, Edward, would come back some day – I'm guilty for secretly wishing that Bella would pick me instead and move on. It's like everything's set up for me.

I cannot help what I feel for Bella, but I don't want a rift with Edward as well. He is my brother still. And I can't have Bella fall in love with Jacob Black, which if you think about it, he is the better choice among 

everyone – Mike Newton included and he's full human which is saying a lot. Everyone had their shot with her, got close to her except me. I wanted to try.

I remember asking Alice about this, and she says that she stopped looking out for Bella's future in respect to Edward's wishes. I know that she doesn't have the heart (figuratively) to deny Edward anything more, not when he was already miserable.

Alice… it did hurt when she said that she saw us separating ways. I thought that all my hope was within Alice's palms but she sadly said that I was falling in love with somebody else and someone else needed her as well.

"Jasper, h-how…why…?" Bella again was shy and nervous. But I had a hunch about what she was asking.

"I don't really know myself… Alice saw that I was falling in love with somebody else but she never told me it would be you… I just checked up on you that one night and everything changed.

"When I saw how you were and how you had nightmares every night, I felt how intense your pain is. You probably didn't notice that I sent calming waves your way in hopes of helping you. I didn't know that it was a nightly occurrence. When I felt your emotions, I was immediately drawn to take care of you. You were like glass, Bella. Like one word could break you. Incredibly fragile. I couldn't just leave you like that so I decided to stay longer.

"As days go by, I went on observing you yet hunted more often as precaution but guilt has overridden my thirst or at least the level of attraction your blood calls to me. It's not as strong as Edward's but strong enough to tempt me.

"Then guilt evolved to care and care evolved to love. I watch you move like a soldier bravely marching towards the cruelest battlefield of having to live through day after day of reality.

"And I was again pulled to you like gravity. There's just something about you that makes everything seem so right."

After my speech, she looked at me with a face I could not comprehend. She had mixed emotions of grief, confusion, awe… and guilt…

"Why do you feel guilty, Bella?"

She looked down on her lap. "Because Jasper… my heart is telling me that what you said about everything feeling all right when I'm with you is strangely what I'm feeling right now. yet… Edward…"

I stopped the car. We have already arrived. I touched her shoulder, "I know Bella. I feel guilty about Edward too but I can't help what I feel. All I can say is that, even if he comes back or not, I'm not leaving you unless you want too. If he comes back and you still want him, I will not stand in your way."

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, "But I don't want to hurt you as well."

As much as her words struck me, I forced a small smile, "Bella, don't worry about my feelings. Right now I want you to breathe and be yourself. Like in the song I wrote, get what you want and need, and what you need is rest, rest from all this pain."

I reached out and touched her face and she touched that hand with both of hers and looked me in the eyes, "But Jasper… let's suppose that we did try to be… together..." she paused and hesitated.

"Go on…" I urged her.

"What if we're not meant for each other as well?" she said slowly... sadly… torn…

I gave a half-smile and leaned in closer to her face that our noses were almost touching. I felt her heart beat race and her breath hitch. I moved my mouth near her ear and whispered,

"So?"

"Um…"

"Make a mistake with me."

She jerked back startled at my response. "W-what?" she stammered.

I chuckled then moved to face her, locking her confused eyes with my steady ones. "Make a mistake with me." I repeated. "I don't mind. You're worth the risk. And if there's a possibility, even the slightest chance that we are meant to be, I'm not wasting it."

She looked shocked but she obliged me with another kiss with as much enthusiasm as the first then she froze and pulled out. I let her.

"J-Jasper… I'm still not sure of this… this is all too sudden."

I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes.

"I know." I said softly. "I'm here primarily to make sure you're okay and… I can wait."

I opened my eyes and looked deep into hers and a smile slowly formed on my lips.

"Remember what I told you…"

I traced her slightly open lips and leaned in closer to her, leaving an inch between our lips.

I whispered,

_"Just say…"_

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**AN: If i get at least 5 reviews, I will continue this story. Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2: Then State Your Need

_I chuckled then moved to face her, locking her confused eyes with my steady ones. "Make a mistake with me." I repeated. "I don't mind. You're worth the risk. And if there's a possibility, even the slightest chance that we are meant to be, I'm not wasting it."_

_She looked shocked but she obliged me with another kiss with as much enthusiasm as the first then she froze and pulled out. I let her._

"_J-Jasper… I'm still not sure of this… this is all too sudden."_

_I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes._

"_I know." I said softly. "I'm here primarily to make sure you're okay and… I can wait."_

_I opened my eyes and looked deep into hers and a smile slowly formed on my lips._

"_Remember what I told you…"_

_I traced her slightly open lips and leaned in closer to her, leaving an inch between our lips._

_I whispered, _

"_Just say…"_

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**Chapter 2: State your Need**

JPOV:

With nothing but an inch between our lips I would only need to lean in a bit more to close the gap but seeing Bella blush crimson, hear heart fluttering fast I decided to just smile wider and just pull her in for an embrace.

I won't rush anything. What she needs now is comfort and only comfort. I'm here for that. She hugged me back and I gave her a final squeeze and released her.

"Well, we're here. Are you sure you want to go inside?" I gauged her response.

Still recovering from shock, she nodded slowly. "Yes. I don't want to see anybody else right now."

I nodded at her then raced out of the car to get her door. Seeing my gesture, I felt Bella feel a pang of hurt. I sighed inwardly in recognition. This was something Edward did. But what are the other gestures of chivalry left?

I forced another smile. I've been doing that a lot lately. I offered her my hand cautiously, she hesitated a bit but then took it. I smiled at her and opened the door and let her in. it was exactly how we left it. Empty.

I turned to her, "What would you like to do today?" I asked kindly.

She shrugged. "Would you like to watch a movie? I think we left some DVDs here."

She smiled a little, "Okay."

I grinned at her and led her to the living room. She sat down on the couch and I rummaged the cabinet and pulled out a few films.

"So we have here… Pirates of the Caribbean 3… House of Flying Daggers… White Chicks… 50 First Dates… Cruel Intentions… which one do you want to watch?"

She thought for a while and said, "Anything light and funny I guess…"

I nodded at her, "Pirates it is!" then I popped the DVD in the player and switched the TV on.

I sat beside her mentally noting to leave an ample space between us. I did not want to take advantage of her vulnerability in any way. She'll come around or not but always at her own pace.

She looked at me, "Jasper… is it okay if I move closer to you?" she bit her lip nervously. "It's just that… it's been so long that I left spaces beside me… I'm in much need of… of some contact…"

I smiled at her and patted the space beside me. "You don't have to explain. I understand or did you forget about my powers?"

She chuckled a bit, blushing then moved closer to me. I put an arm around her shoulder, pausing to see if it's okay. She leaned her head on my shoulder and I took that as a good sign. She shivered a bit and I pulled out a blanket that I also took from one of the cabinets and wrapped it around her.

"Feeling better?"

She sighed, "Yes. Thank you."

"You still feel tense…" I added hesitantly.

"It's just that what if Edward… suddenly appeared?"

I frowned slightly. "Then it's up to both of you how everything proceeds. I know you still have strong feelings towards him. If he comes back for you and you want him back I'll just slip out in the back…"

"Jasper…" she started.

"Bella, please stop worrying. Just try to live each day one after the other. You should focus on yourself. Just take a look at yourself, you're shrinking away. Physically, you've grown so thin and so pale, it's not 

healthy anymore. Carlisle will have a fit. And emotionally, you're broken. But I believe you are capable of healing.

"Bella, everyone's worrying about you. If you don't want pity thrown your direction, you have to start bouncing back. Let everything fall into place when they do."

"You're right…" she agreed solemnly… close to tears…

I sent her calming waves and she immediately felt better. "Thanks Jasper…"

"Bella, tell me what you want."

"What I want?" she looked up at me.

I held her face in my hands and gazed at her eyes, "Yes. What do you want? What do you need right now?"

She was at a loss for words, "I… I… don't know…"

"Yes, you do. Be honest with yourself and tell me what you need…"

"I… I want… the pain to stop… I want… to feel whole again…" she finally admitted.

I smiled at her. "Then you know what to do. Just be yourself and do whatever you need to do. You don't have to be a zombie for anyone. Seeing you so empty hurts your loved ones. All of us would rather you argue or cry your eyes out than see you die each day from holding back your emotions. Charlie for example, he's so confused and frustrated with himself and feels so worthless."

Bella's eyes widened in fury and hurt, "It's not his fault. It's my fault. It's my entire fault! How can I keep from hurting anymore people?" she cried.

I wiped her tears and whispered softly, "Bella all you have to do is be happy. Stop holding on to the pain and start getting the happiness that you deserve."

She stopped crying. "This is the second time today that you made me feel better, Jasper."

I half-smiled at her and massaged her cheek, "Like I said, that's what I'm here for. I'm here for you because I love you and I want nothing more than to make you happy."

She looked at me softly, her auburn eyes gentle, "I don't know if I can reciprocate your feelings right now Jasper. But I do care about you and I don't want to put you through what Edward had to go through, always fighting internally to keep me alive, from himself. I don't want you to pretend to feel human for me."

"I know you feel that way Bella. Thank you for being concerned but I'm fairly sure I'm capable of controlling myself around you now. I've had practice. It's true, it's not always easy but I'm doing my 

best. You're worth everything. And I'm not going to force you to love me. But all I ask for is a chance with you." I looked at her expectantly.

"But I'm broken beyond repair… you still want me?"

"I would take you even if you have no nose." I added to lighten up the mood. It worked, she smiled slightly.

"Thank you for thinking of me like the way you do, Jasper. Maybe we could try… not right now but soon…maybe… if that's okay with you? I'm… not ready at the moment… you'll know when I am anyway…"

I smiled at her. "Of course. That's all I need to hear. Thank you Bella. Now let's get you home. It's late and the movie we were supposed to be watching is kind of ending right now."

She laughed. "Okay. Thanks again Jasper, for making me feel better."

"Not a problem." Then I made her _feel _happy that she laughed but glared at me. I snickered.

"Not fair. Ground rules. No use of power on the human!" she whined.

I held up my hands in surrender. "Okay. Clear on that now let's go."

I was feeling happy for the first time in months. And I felt Bella feel a little happy as well.

She was willing to try with me. It's not now but soon.

Yes. I have my chance.

I really am in love with Isabella Marie Swan.

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**AN: As promised, I updated! I might not be able to update much faster, say a couple more days. I have college people! So updating is very taxing for my part. Feedback, negative or positive, is what motivates me to write. So please give me reviews and I promise I will update as soon as I can.**

**If I get reviews, I'll update on Wednesday. If not, then the next update would be on Friday night at the earliest. My classes end at 7pm so the safe bet's on Saturday morning. Thanks for reading! )**

**Keep Fueling your Imagination, **

**Margaux**


	3. Chapter 3: Reach out for it Next

_She laughed. "Okay. Thanks again Jasper, for making me feel better."_

"_Not a problem." Then I made her feel happy that she laughed but glared at me. I snickered._

"_Not fair. Ground rules. No use of power on the human!" she whined._

_I held up my hands in surrender. "Okay. Clear on that now let's go."_

_I was feeling happy for the first time in months. And I felt Bella feel a little happy as well._

_She was willing to try with me. It's not now but soon._

_Yes. I have my chance._

_I really am in love with Isabella Marie Swan._

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**Chapter 3: Reach Out For It Next**

As I drove Bella to her house, she fell asleep. I sighed at her and watched her sleeping form bracing myself for the nightmares to come but they didn't I felt relieved.

Taking advantage of the situation, I'm sure Bella wouldn't mind it if I cheat right now. So brushing some strands of hair on her face, I placed my hand lightly on her forehead and made her feel serenity to push her further into a deeper sleep.

"I really do love you, you know." I muttered. Then I moved my sight to the road ahead. I decided to drive even more slowly so that Bella could sleep longer.

"I know."

I jerked back and froze. Then I stared at Bella. Did she just answer me? I checked to see if she was awake but I relaxed at once. She was just sleep talking again. I chuckled softly.

"And you'll feel it better as days go by…" I whispered.

…

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I saw Bella's driveway and made out Charlie's cruiser parked nearby. He's home and…frantic. I felt Charlie's anticipation and panic then relief as he heard us pull out. He was doing his best of calming down and decided to ambush Bella when she comes in rather than run here. That was good at least. Thank goodness that it was raining as well so he won't be able to make out that I was here.

I looked at Bella and she was still sleeping. I debated upon carrying her home, preparing for any reaction Charlie might have from seeing me but decided against it. Very gently, I shook Bella and said softly,

"Wake up sleepyhead. You're home." She stirred then opened her eyes. Then she jerked upright shocked again.

"Jasper! You're still here! I thought everything was another dream."

I snickered, "Hmmm… you're so silly. Of course I'm still here. I could kiss you and refresh your memory if you like," I hinted followed with a wink. Hey, I'm a gentleman but I was bolder than Edward. And I'm not wasting any moment.

Instantaneously, she flushed crimson again then scowled at me. "Ha-ha. Good one, Jasper. But I believe I'm not dreaming anymore." She was so embarrassed.

I stifled a laugh then raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Well if you change your mind then. But you should go inside now, Charlie's going to have a meltdown if you don't. Brace yourself, he's pretty…well, frantic."

She slapped her forehead and blushed harder, "Oh right!" Then she looked at me with horror, "But wh-where will you go? You're n-not l-leaving, right?"She said with her own hand a being frantic and with pleading in her eyes.

I held her face and this triggered another round of the redness, "I told you, I'm not going anywhere."

She held her breath.

"Oh Bella, you're forgetting how to breath again."

She took a deep breath automatically then gulped. "Sorry. You vampires keep dazzling me. It's all your dumb fault."

"So I do have a dazzling effect on you as well! Interesting…" I said bemused and satisfied.

At that her heart raced and she was at a loss for words.

I broke the silence. "Do you want me to come in with you? Maybe calm down Charlie a bit?"

She blinked then thought it over then cringed, "Er… I don't know…"

"Come on. I don't see any harm. Charlie will be just happy seeing you safe."

"Okay then. But you do the explaining." I nodded eagerly.

I smiled and opened her door happily. I didn't know how much time I had with Bella so I think its best that I come into good terms with her father as soon as possible.

I let Bella open the door with her key so that Charlie won't be suspicious of me. The moment she opened the door, Charlie was there and ready to ambush. He didn't even notice me come in. he grabbed Bella and hugged her then started yelling.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOUNG LADY? I HAVE THE WHOLE STATION LOOKING FOR YOU! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS? GOD BELLS! WHERE WERE _YOU?! _AND –

Oh. He saw me and his eyes widened like saucers his already swelling red face turning white. Then he blinked and faced Bella again.

"_What is he doing here? _Well? Explain yourself!"

"I…uh… I was… um… ah… you see…" Bella was flustered and I decided to intervene for her. I cleared my throat and offered the warmest smile I could muster and worked my _charm_.

"Good evening Chief Swan. It's me, Jasper Hale, if you remember me. I came for a visit to Forks from college and I saw Bella's truck parked near the woods then became worried and tried to follow her in. I found her looking blue so I tried my hand at cheering her up."

My _charm _was working on Charlie. He was calmer now. I smiled wider.

"Hm. I see. Thanks for that but it's almost midnight, what took you guys so long?" he said suspiciously. It can't be helped.

"Well, I offered to take her home but she said she didn't want to go home right away so I took her to my house and we watched a movie. I'm sorry, I should've called you, sir but…" I glanced at Bella.

Charlie grunted then sighed. "Okay, okay. All's good I s'pose. But Bella, you shouldn't run off just like that. You're lucky that someone saw you or I can't imagine what I would do if anything happened to you."

"I'm sorry dad. It won't happen again." Bella apologized.

"Good, now thank Mr. Cullen here and go freshen up and sleep." Then he turned to look at me, "Thanks Jasper. You should go on home too. But you rode Bella's truck right? You don't have a ride. You can borrow the truck if you want."

"It's no trouble at all, really sir. And I don't need to borrow Bella's truck. My ride is parked not that far from here. I'll manage. Thank you."

"You sure? Suit yourself then. But before you go, can I have a quick word in the kitchen?"

"Certainly." My, I wonder what Charlie's so nervous about. Bella was nervous as well. I gave her a reassuring smile and followed Charlie to the kitchen.

"Jasper was it again?" he said in a low voice. I nodded.

"Well… I know you've seen her look miserable… and seeing you… after you all left… I'm afraid that she's going to lose it again."

"I understand your concern, sir. But I think she's feeling better… at least even a little."

"I know but when you leave… that's the problem…"

Hm. Now Charlie didn't want me to leave… sort of.

"I'm here every weekend. My university isn't far from here and I believe that my family is moving back here so we'll be here for Bella."

"I see. But what about…"

"Oh. Edward? Unless he pulls out of boarding school, he might come back…" I trailed of. There it was again. Guilt and jealousy. Bad combination. Add selfishness to the mix and we have a party! A tiny part of me secretly didn't want Edward to come back…

"I'm afraid of how that would affect Bella."

"Yes. I understand that's why from now on, I will try to help Bella cope as much as I can. I care for her too. And I'm sure things will work out for the better."

He eyed me suspiciously but then sighed. "Well anything's better than the zombie I'm living with. Good luck with that."

Then he called Bella over, "Bella see Jasper out and thank him." Then he looked at me. "Pleasant evening to you." Then he made his way to the living room and watched TV.

I looked at Bella. She was panicking again.

"Don't worry, I won't really leave." I whispered to her. "Unless you want me to."

Her eyes grew big, "No, no don't leave me!" she whispered anxiously back, tugging on my arm.

I nodded at her and motioned for the door. We made our way to the door and made a show that I was leaving. After I 'disappeared' into the walkway, I zoomed out and climbed Bella's window and sat on the old rocking chair even before Bella entered her room.

When she appeared, she looked surprised but relieved and shockingly threw herself at me.

I blinked then laughed as I put an arm around her waist. She looked up at me with realization dawning on her then blushed for the hundredth time today. This was fun, being with her.

She detached herself from me and stood up in front of me. "I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"It's okay. I understand your exuberant relief."

She smiled a little. "Thanks. I'm just so happy to see you…" she said shyly and my joy increased.

"You should go to bed now."

She nodded, "Give me just a human minute. Don't leave me please."

"Take your time."

…

After her human minute, and after she said goodnight to Charlie who also went to bed, she climbed under the covers of her bed.

"Good night, Jasper."

I sped to her bedside and startled Bella once again. "Hey!"

I snickered, "Sorry." Then I tucked her in and kissed her cheeks and forehead and she shivered. "Sweet dreams." I whispered then made my way to sit on the rocking chair.

I watched her close her eyes and waited for her to drift to sleep. But after seven minutes, the average time for a human to fall asleep, she was still awake.

"Can't sleep?"

"Not really…" she answered.

"Want me to help you fall asleep?"

She shook her head, "No. no powers please."

"Then what can I do to help you? If you want I could stay beside you but I don't want to push things."

"Maybe you should… it will make me feel better… to have a hug or something…"

It was my turn to be startled but then I felt the desperation and the loneliness she felt so I immediately walked up to her and laid down cautiously beside her.

She hesitated for a minute but then moved to snuggle closer to me. If my heart was still alive, it would beat as fast as hers was.

"D-do you mind…?" she asked meekly.

I hesitantly… yet gently put an arm around her in answer. She felt better. This was what she needed. Something to fill the empty space she had reserved. I knew perfectly well it wasn't for me but I was 

holding on to a bit of hope that I would fill this spot permanently. If this was what she needed, this is what she would get. She's reaching out. This was good.

"Want me to sing you to sleep?" I offered. She froze and I stiffened as she felt like crying again. Crap, this was the exact line that Edward said to her. Damn. Edward covered all the places. I'm only reminding her of him. I didn't want that…. I'm trying my hardest not to do what Edward did but I keep on doing things unintentionally similar to what he did. Curses!

"I-I'm sorry." I murmured. Then she relaxed… a bit then said apologetically, "No. I'm sorry. Please sing to me. Thank you…"

I nodded and started singing softly and watched her drift to sleep.

_If I give up on you I give up on me  
If we fight what's true, will we ever be  
Even God himself and the faith I knew  
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you_

_Tease me, by holding out your hand  
Then leave me, or take me as I am  
And live our lives, stigmatized_

_I can feel the blood rushing though my veins  
When I hear your voice, driving me insane  
Hour after hour day after day  
Every lonely night that I sit and pray_

_Tease me, by holding out your hand  
Then leave me, or take me as I am  
And live our lives, stigmatized_

_We live our lives on different sides,  
But we keep together you and I  
Just live our lives, stigmatized_

_We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday  
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way_

_I believe in you  
Even if no one understands  
I Believe in you, and I don't really give a damn_

_stigmatized  
We live our lives on different sides  
But we keep together you and I  
We live our lives on different sides_

_We're gonna live our lives  
Gotta live our lives  
We're gonna live our lives  
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized_

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**AN: Aren't we lucky, school got cancelled for two days! So rejoice as I get to update more this week! (throws confetti) Whoop whoop!**

**The song Jasper sang here is Stigmatized by The Calling. **

**Please give me reviews and I will make two-four more chapters for this week. Thank you! :**

**Oh right, if you love songfics and Jacob Black, you should find the fic, "Kryptonite" By regan94. Check my profile, it's listed under my fav stories. :  
**

**Keep Fueling your Imagination,**

**Margaux**


	4. Chapter 4: The Helper's Dilemma

_I hesitantly… yet gently put an arm around her in answer. She felt better. This was what she needed. Something to fill the empty space she had reserved. I knew perfectly well it wasn't for me but I was holding on to a bit of hope that I would fill this spot permanently. If this was what she needed, this is what she would get. She's reaching out. This was good._

"_Want me to sing you to sleep?" I offered. She froze and I stiffened as she felt like crying again. Crap, this was the exact line that Edward said to her. Damn. Edward covered all the places. I'm only reminding her of him. I didn't want that…. I'm trying my hardest not to do what Edward did but I keep on doing things unintentionally similar to what he did. Curses!_

"_I-I'm sorry." I murmured. Then she relaxed… a bit then said apologetically, "No. I'm sorry. Please sing to me. Thank you…"_

_I nodded and started singing softly and watched her drift to sleep._

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Helper's Dilemma Needs Solving Too**

I watched Bella sleep soundly in my arms. Never did I imagine myself get this close to her. When I first met her, Edward was written all over her and I was even given instructions of keeping my distance from her… just in case. I was pretty irked about that by the way.

I scowled at the memory. I hated being the weakest link. Then my anger changed to shame as I remembered Bella's eighteenth birthday. What a way to prove myself, way to go Jasper. Now Bella was in deep pain because I almost bit her that day and Edward, overcautious, gallant Edward feared for Bella even more. Now here I was… cradling the love of his existence…Bella.

I felt like such a jerk. Sure Jasper, just one teensy bite then _wham!_ Our family split up, Bella and Edward split up both so vulnerable and in anguish then I go back to check on Bella out of guilt then anothe_r wham!_ I fell for her.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I felt Bella frown a little and twitch. I must be unconsciously transferring my inner turmoil to her. So I recoiled immediately and kept her calm as I shook away my thoughts.

But my guilt never left me.

I sighed. What am I going to do? I want Bella for myself but I don't know if I can do this to my brother.

_But he left, remember? _ The little voice in my head said. But I'm to blame I answered. Then I snorted. Great, I was hearing voices. Another Edward trademark. Like I need any more of those.

_But Bella doesn't blame you and neither does Edward and you know it. I'm you remember. _

I thought about that. But I shook my head in disagreement. I'm just here to help Bella feel better.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that._

But I am! _Sigh._ Okay, I'll be honest with myself. I love Bella. I want Bella. I _need _Bella. Saying "Bella" three times in one breath meant something right?

And I know… I _felt _Bella feel better with me. Like she was considering. I did say that she could make a mistake with me and I'll be fine with that. But the truth is, I… won't… be…

Handling two heartaches while bearing all the emotions of the world, add the overwhelming guilt I felt is too much for an emphatic being like me.

And…I know Edward would be furious with this but I also know that he always considered the consequences of his actions and if Bella being happy with me was part of that I had a gut feeling he would step down if it was what Bella would want. Just a teeny-tiny microscopic gut feeling…

But could I bear the betrayal and hurt that he would feel every time he is near?

I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath. This was beyond complicated. But I'm sticking to my plan of taking my chances with Bella and let whatever comes, come.

At least she wouldn't have to run off with Jacob or anyone else. She needs a friend. She needs to breathe. She needs an escape.

_And I had to take whatever I can no matter what._

I shook of my thoughts for a while and concentrated on Bella's rhythmic breathing and her even heartbeat. It's amazing that I could control myself better around her better now – even better than Edward who had to battle with her being what he called 'his brand of heroine.'

And I smiled at the fact that it was almost morning and Bella didn't have a nightmare. This was good. Really good.

Then I started thinking again. I can't help but feel that the world is setting us up. I mean, first Edward left Bella, then Alice left me and I found myself here alone… and Bella also alone… what if… me and Bella's previous 'relationships' were just preparations for something bigger, or just a way of finding each other?

How does one really know who belongs to whom in this vast mysterious earth?

I mean the fact that vampires and werewolves exist was perplexing enough surely this thought would fit in the category of the unsolved and mysterious as well… right?

I know how humans feel. Hell, I even know how _nonhumans _feel inside out. I understand emotions. I feel it, I control it. I know through all the pain of loss, the joys of reunion and the bittersweet feel of 

inevitability that the world loves to play tricks on anyone, human or nonhuman. Tests abound the world. _Some win, some fail, some fail then win, and some win then fail._ So on which category do we fit in?

Another brilliant question, whose test was this, me and Bella's? Or… Edward and Bella's? I finished the thought sadly…

I massaged the crease on my forehead with my free hand and took another deep breath.

There is a possibility, even the slightest nano-fraction that maybe I met Alice and Bella met Edward so that me and Bella could meet or something along that line of thought. I know it's beyond farfetched but there's a big 'maybe' that looms overhead. Wishful thinking, but hey, anything's possible. I mean look at _us – our_ kind exists and we're under the 'mythical creature' category.

If you look at all these as a whole, it paints a big picture of all the things wrong, just wrong.

But if it's all wrong…why does Bella here sleeping in my arms looking like an angel all peaceful and content… feel so right… feel so…in place…?

Surely nothing that feels this good can't be _that _bad, right?

I frowned again and my brow furrowed. What am I talking about, this is bad! This was Bella and Edward we're talking about! One look at them and you'd see they were meant to be!

_If they're so meant to be then why does life keep breaking them apart?_

I was shocked. Where did that thought come from?

_And why are you kept pulled in?_

Another shock ran through me.

Ahhh… I must be going crazy!

Pulled in? When things we're finally going great for Bella and Edward, I had to go and break them up at my attempt to bite Bella. And now that Edward and Alice left, I found myself coming back to Forks for Bella. God, I am pulled in.

"Jasper."

I flinched and blinked. Did she just say my name? I looked at her face. She sighed then said my name softly again. "Jasper." Then smiled. And I melted right then and there. She was emitting a lot of deep feelings like immense gratitude and abundant relief.

That's it. There's no turning back now. I will pursue Bella. She already heard my case and she was willing to try with me, not now but maybe someday and I will take this chance. Who knows, I may not have another chance.

I'm really sorry Edward. But it's not really my entire fault if you really think about it – why you left. You're as much a danger to her like I am to her. Bella was ready to give up everything for you, you don't know how lucky you are and I believe that she is still ready to give up humanity right now. Your intentions are admirable, Edward but we both know how you really feel. If only you gave in and let Bella be with you for eternity then you would be where you want to be the most.

Now I'm here in the spot she reserved for you. Keeping it warm because the cold emptiness is killing Bella in the slowest most agonizing death you could imagine. Believe me, I know how it feels. If you love Bella, really love her, you'll get over your damn self and come here as soon as possible, like r_ight now _before I fall deeper in love with Bella that I might not give her up to you anymore, even if it's what she wants.

Yes. I am giving Edward another chance with Bella because one, I owed him that.

Two, Bella still holds a spot for him. Her happiness is all that matters right now.

But while I am here, until that time comes, if it does come… Edward better have one hell of an apology ready for Bella and have another hell of a plan of proving his love for her because while I, Jasper Hale am here…

I'll be fighting hard for her heart.

* * *

**AN: Wow. I had a lot of hits! NonCannon Pairings are so fun and intriguing to do and read about. ; **

**--Don't you just feel bad about Jasper? He's so torn and confused. Poor guy but you gotta love his determination.**

**--OH!! I know some are wondering if Bella would still end up eventually with Edward but at the moment, I'm torn. Let's wait until Edward comes back (yes, people. He will come back) and see. Hmmm… I'm thinking of putting up a poll on that. Watch out for it and vote what you think.**

**--Thanks for the reviews. Feedback, positive or negative is exactly my kind of fuel. Do continue reviewing, once classes start again it's going to be hard to update. I'll do my part in updating if you do one teensy part and give feedback. If you're nice I'll update again tomorrow.**

**Keep Fueling your Imagination,**

**Margaux (pronounced 'mar/gow' btw. Hate the starbucks guy that wrote 'marco' and 'mario' on my frappe when I'm obviously a girl, long hair, soft features and all.) grumble grumble **


	5. Chapter 5: Everyone Needs Someone

_Yes. I am giving Edward another chance with Bella because one, I owed him that. _

_Two, Bella still holds a spot for him. Her happiness is all that matters right now._

_But while I am here, until that time comes, if it does come… Edward better have one hell of an apology ready for Bella and have another hell of a plan of proving his love for her because while I, Jasper Hale am here…_

_I'll be fighting hard for her heart._

* * *

**Chapter 5: Everyone Needs Someone**

It had started to rain again and I felt Bella stir. She felt irksome. Rain must bother her then. I stroked her cheek and she calmed down immediately. I glanced at the clock. It was almost seven in the morning. Today was Sunday. From observation, Bella usually wakes up at around this time but here she was, fast asleep. I know that this was the most sleep that she had for the past three months. Finally.

I made a motion to leave, get changed and get my car. I decided to swap my silver bike that Edward gave me for a sleek new Bently. I know how Charlie felt about bikes. Sigh. I loved that bike.

As I retracted my arm away from Bella and moved ever so lightly, I felt a tug at my arm and looked back at Bella… still sleeping but still frowning. I chuckled and whispered to her ear, "I'll be right back."

Then her eyes fluttered tiredly open, "No." she murmured. "D'nleave" she muttered half-frantic, half-groggy.

I smiled and caught my laugh. "Okay, okay. I won't leave right now. Go back to sleep." I stroked her hair. She relaxed a bit but after a few seconds she decided to get up. I could feel the longing and the painful desperation not too mention, paranoia.

She sat upright tiredly and I put an arm around her for support. Her head fell on my shoulder and her eyes closed once again. She was still tired but she fought the urge to sleep afraid that everything's a dream again, probably. I felt sorry for her. She doesn't deserve this.

I massaged her lower back and kissed her hair. She smelled so good. Never mind that this is another Edward move. How many ways is there to smell hair? Hopefully, Bella knows the difference between what Edward did for her and what I'm doing to her no matter how identical or similar they can be.

She stiffened a bit. I did too. Her heartbeat picked up. More desperation and more desperation followed. What if she thinks I'm Edward right now? Hurt washed through me and I waited for the disappointment come for her when she realizes that it's not Edward who kissed her hair but me.

I closed my eyes and waited.

And what I got from her was… "satisfaction."

I was on cloud nine. She did know the difference! Here I was braced for harsh disappointment but I got satisfaction and contentment! My whole being soared. I was getting somewhere.

Then her stomach growled.

Silence.

After three seconds, Bella's eyes shot open and she had that beautiful color on her cheeks again. She was embarrassed but all I saw was her being cute.

I chuckled and smiled at her. "Good morning, sunshine! Time for you to eat."

She smiled shyly then blushed another shade of red. Strangely enough, her blushing doesn't make me want to take a bite at her anymore. I guess I'm over that now. That's another plus for me. I guess I _do _think fondly of her.

She clamped her hand on her mouth then ran a hand through her hair, her eyes wide but still tired. "I need another human minute."

I nodded at her, "As always, take your time."

"Oh wait, where's Charlie?"

"He left about ten minutes ago."

"Oh right. He had a fishing trip with Billy. Okay then, give me a second while I tame my hair and stuff."

I chuckled, "Okay."

When she went to the bathroom, I took the opportunity of getting changed and grabbing my car. In three minutes, I silently parked my car in the driveway and sped off to Bella's kitchen. Days of watching her, I knew she ate like a bird. Picking on her food and eating small amounts. I shook my head at that. This human needs feeding a lot.

I opened the refrigerator and scanned its contents. My nose wrinkled at the smell of different foods but if I didn't prepare her breakfast, she would just take a handful of cereal then chase it down with milk and she's all set. I won't have that.

I saw a couple of eggs and some bacon. "Bacon and Eggs it is." I glanced around the kitchen and scratched my head. When was the last time I cooked something? I groaned. My last memory of being a human was the life of a military man where canned goods dried processed meat and sticking things into a roasting fire was my source of nutrients.

But I do remember how to fry things. So I started cooking. And like honey to a bear, the tiny, much too skinny pale bear came down from hibernation smelling the aroma that wafted from the kitchen.

"Wow. I didn't know you could cook, Jasper!" Bella exclaimed. I registered the shock she felt and gratitude and chuckled.

I was about to retaliate with a witty comment myself but all words, even my name was lost when I turned around to look at her.

She came out smelling like strawberries and steam… all warm and fragrant from a shower wearing a forest green blouse under a black jumper dress looking all cute and beautiful. A genuine smile on her face like the sun shining after a storm.

Then her nose wrinkled and I felt her panic a little. "Um Jasper, something's starting to burn…"

I snapped out of it immediately and turned the stove off. Thank goodness for vampire speed or the perfect breakfast I was making would be ruined.

I caught her snicker. And I glared at her playfully. She bit her lip and smiled innocently and I smiled easily back at her. "It's your fault. You _dazzled _me." I said accusingly.

She blushed then smirked. Then her heart sank again. Another pang of hurt shot through me. Note to self: Avoid Edward lines and Edward moves as much as possible.

I was about to apologize but Bella beat me to it. "I'm sorry Jasper…"

I shook my head. "You don't have to apologize. It's okay to miss him Bella. You can't help what you feel. Don't hold back on being honest with yourself at my expense. I feel what you're feeling anyway so there's no use hiding." Though I said this calmly, I felt like breaking something. Anything. I can be self-sacrificing too. But another reason for that was, I want to feel Bella _genuinely. _Come as she is. Get what she wants.

She reached out hesitantly then touched my arm. "Jasper… I'm hurting you… please if you can't take this anymore… trying to wait for me… you can leave…" she said the last word chokingly, like she didn't want to say it but had too.

"I…don't know if I could get… get over him…you know… but I want to try Jasper… I want – "

I cut her off, "Bella I know you're uncertain. I know you're battling too. I get that. But I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I love you. I want to take care of you. I want you to feel better. If the only position you have for me in your life is just being a friend, I'll take it. I'll take whatever I can from you.

"Let me be the one to see you through this dark time. Let _me _help you. Let _me._ I may not be as gentle as Edward or as close to comfort as Jacob is becoming to you but I am crazy about you and I can be self-sacrificing as well but I don't know. I can be selfish too and want you for myself alone."

Then I closed my eyes and sighed. And I was shocked as a pair of soft fragile arms wrapped around me from behind. And I felt Bella's forehead pressed on my back.

"You're right Jasper. I do need someone right now. I can't stand being alone. I can't stand acting strong. I'm so desperate and selfish that I want this just to feel better and fill a little part of me. I don't want to hurt you and I want to move on but it's just so hard. I want this. I _need _this.

"I know it's wrong of me to take advantage of your feelings towards me just to feel better and I know it hurts for both of us because it's like a betrayal for Edward even if he left me.

"I know it's really selfish of me but I'm too hurt and too tired to fight anymore. I just need to breathe to escape this hell hole of a pain. I want to be able to go to bed every night and rest peacefully exactly how I did last night. So I'm throwing out all the self-preservation I have left and taking whatever act of comfort thrown my way…and hopefully… I can regain something to give back…"

I felt every pain she felt and every conviction in her words, every hot tear that fell, every heave of her breathing that was heavy as rocks. Sure it hurt me too that she was acting on desperation and exhaustion but I'll take it anyway. I touched her arms then turned around quickly and made her face me with my hand on her chin.

"Bella… stop fighting and let go. Not for my sake but for your sake. Think only of yourself. And I'll help you anyway you want me to. It's not true that you don't have anything else left to give. You have so much love in your heart. Never forget that. That's why many are drawn to you. Sometimes, the most selfless person in the world needs a moment of selfishness… for sanity's sake. And you… you deserve to get what you want. No putting yourself on hold. No excuses. So if you're asking me to be that someone you need right now to feel better, it's done. I'm here."

She burst out crying even more and I held her close. Very close. Stroking her hair and rubbing her back. Feeling every tear like tiny stabs of broken glass.

Then she looked up at me with the saddest and exhausted eyes. "J-Jasper…" there was that desperation again and...Guilt. And I knew what she wanted. And I obliged.

I obliged with my lips crashing down on hers, my arms holding her tighter against me. She kissed me back, still crying. Guilt and Want. Guilt and Want. Chanting off from her like bongo drums on repeat. I kissed her deeper. I knew she wanted to forget. I knew this wasn't the smartest way. But it was what she needed. And what she needed, she gets.

Then I felt her push me back. We were both panting. "I-I can't do this Jasper. It's wrong. It's not even about Edward anymore. I-It's not fair for you. I can't do this not when you feel for me like that and I…I… I'm just acting out of hopelessness. I'm such a horrible person." Then she bawled again.

I reached out for her and she keeps brushing me off.

"I'm not asking for much Bella. I just want you to feel better, that's all."

Then she looked up at me and whispered, "But not at your expense."

I held her shoulders, "You can't know that. Not right now. You're acting on emotions. Turn me away when you're sure you don't want me and I can take it but I can't leave you like this. You said it yourself. You _need _someone. Who do you want that person to be?" I said firmly, my voice rising.

"We don't know if Edward's coming back or not. Can't you please consider what's in front of you right now rather than someone who's not here?" I said softly… exasperatedly… pleadingly…

She just stared at me with bloodshot eyes as emotion from emotion danced around her small frame. How can someone so fragile feel all that and not self-combust?

I let her go and made motion to leave. She stood there contemplating.

Once I reached the door handle, "Maybe you need more time. Maybe I should go off for a while. I'm making things worse for you. I'm sorry Bella. I really thought I could help you." then I forced a smile, "Oh and Bella, if you do need me for anything… just say." Then I started walking out the door.

Once the door closed with a soft thud I heard another thud and knew that it was Bella who crumpled to the floor.

I know that I promised myself I would pursue her but I'm only making things worse.

As I walked not caring about the heavy downpour that mimicked my tone and became an exact representation of my tears if I had any, I felt footsteps scurrying towards me and I turned around and saw Bella standing before me getting drenched, uncertain, confused but very much exhausted. I felt her defeat.

"What are you doing? Get back inside or you'll get sick!" I yelled through the loud downpour and rolling cannon balls of thunder.

"I…I…" she started.

"I'll be okay, Bella. Don't worry. Please get inside now."

Then leaving all traces of hesitation, she closed the gap between us, tiptoed and kissed me.

I stood still letting it all sink in. then she pulled away and looked at me.

"Jasper, I may not be sure of my feelings towards you right now but I'm willing to give us a try. I'm horrible and selfish but I've never felt this good and whole for the past three months. You're right. I have to stop holding on to something that's not within my grasp anymore. But I'm still afraid of hurting you, disappointing you and depending on you too much. I'm in worse shape, the worst I've ever been but you still want me. Please, please don't leave me. I can't take any more departure. I can't take the loneliness anymore…I…I…"

I cut her off and kissed her again. I tried to shield her with my large jacket against the heavy rain but I didn't dare break of this kiss fearing she might change her mind.

So here we were, getting drenched and kissing earnestly. Our loneliness ebbing away with the rain….

Who cares if this was temporary? One minute with Bella would last me a lifetime.

* * *

**AN: Heavy drama! The last two chapters were really hard to do. Autobiographical? Uhm… a tad maybe… hehe. Now you see where the soul of the story comes from. Though not completely a personal experience of mine (could be second-hand experience or first, I'm not telling so there), I do know how this all feels. Trust me, it's not fun. Ask my peeps.**

**Okay. I think that this is the last update until Saturday at the latest. I've been very generous with the quick updates so please be generous with the feedback and I promise to update sooner than planned or make up with two chapters on the next update.**

**Oh, I have a poll up. "Who will Bella end up with? Edward eventually or stick with Jasper?" Vote Now.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Keep Fueling your Imagination,**

**Margaux**


	6. Chapter 6: Said and Done

_I cut her off and kissed her again. I tried to shield her with my large jacket against the heavy rain but I didn't dare break of this kiss fearing she might change her mind. _

_So here we were, getting drenched and kissing earnestly. Our loneliness ebbing away with the rain…._

_Who cares if this was temporary? One minute with Bella would last me a lifetime._

* * *

**Chapter 6: Said and Done**

So after the 'rain' incident, as predicted, Bella got sick. She caught a cold. Yay, me. I grumbled to myself.

"Jasper, could you please give me another blanket? It's so cold…" Bella said weakly.

"Maybe I should just sit over there. I'm not making you any warmer." I offered.

I reexamined our position. We were lying in her bed together, Bella under a thick blanket, burning up but still insisting on snuggling with me much to my reluctance. She needed to stay warm, not cozy up to a living ice sculpture.

"No, no. Stay here…" she protested.

"Okay but let me get you a thicker sweater and another blanket first."

She nodded then coughed. I patted her back to relieve her and made my way to her closet.

While rummaging through it, I called to her softly, "I'm sorry for getting you sick."

She sneezed, "It's not your fault Jasper. You did tell me to stay inside, I didn't listen."

Holding out a blue sweater and a thick blanket, I slowly made my way to her. "Still, I should've dragged you back inside. It was still irresponsibility on my side."

I helped her put on the sweater and tucked her in. I laid on top of the covers so she wouldn't shiver against me.

"But still…" she hesitated followed by a blush. Gee, she was already burning up but she could still manage to produce another shade of red.

"But still… I liked our moment…" she said shyly and I couldn't help but produce a small smile. I relished that moment as well but I still did not want her to get sick.

I kissed her forehead and placed my palm on it to relieve her. "I did to… I mean I still do… like it I mean… but you should get some rest and try to get well."

"Hey Jasper…"

"Yes?"

"Where are Emmett and Rosalie? And the others as well…?"

I thought back and answered, "Emmett and Rosalie are on their honeymoon somewhere in Africa and Carlisle and Esme… are actually on their way back here. As for Alice…"

I cringed a little but only for a nanosecond. I know that Alice and I broke up mutually but even through the harshest breakups in the world, once a person held a spot in your heart, that person will permanently be embedded there. Because somewhere along the line, that person used to become a very important part of your life… that's why I understand Bella's situation.

Bella felt me stiffened and stroked my arm gently… and I smiled at her. She's the most important one in my life now.

"Alice is on the search for her past. She will come and visit soon." I said.

She nodded then yawned.

"Was it hard?" she said, mid-yawn.

I knew what she was referring to.

"It was hard. I have to admit. We have been together for a couple of decades and you know Alice, she's not an easy person to forget." I chuckled.

She smiled but she felt something new… was that…_jealousy? _

I looked into her eyes, "But you know what?"

"What?"

"When we parted ways… there was some relief there. Like this was something that was bound to happen one way or another. Alice does hold a special place in my life but you know…."

"Ah. More suspense!" she said sarcastically but playfully.

I chuckled then moved my face close to her and felt her blush again, "You know… you hold the best place right now… the most special place… the important place…"

She gulped feeling so embarrassed yet pleased and I moved away and chuckled leaving her dazed.

"Ah-choo!"

I looked at her.

"Oops. Excuse me."

"Bless you." I said while laughing. The atmosphere was lighter now and Bella was feeling more and more comfortable with me.

"Hey Jasper…" she started again, but sleepier in tone this time.

"Yes?"

"Your song had me thinking."

"Which one?"

"The first one…" she said feeling abashed again and I grew curious. (**AN: Check out my oneshot, Say All I Need, just click on my pro for it to read about Jasper's first song for her. This is the song that started it all.)**

"Oh? And what, pray tell did you think about?"

"Well…" she bit her lip. "It was really what I needed…"

"I told you I had a firm grip on what you were feeling…" I said lightly.

She blushed again, "Yeah, I know but for the past three months…. All that was running through my head was, 'What do people want from me? Expect me to do to cope with… you know? And I really am tired from all the pain… and when in your song… when you said that I should just say what I need… it struck me."

I beamed at her, "Of course you would. You are one person who hesitates on saying what you want for fear of coming across as selfish which is frankly, not that true at all cases. The more you ignore your need, the more immense you'll need to fulfill it."

She nodded, "I understand that now." she smiled. "Thanks for the push."

"Your welcome, I'm glad I was able to help somehow. But right now you should sleep so you can go to school tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Oh Bella… is it okay if I leave for about just one minute? Just get rid of my car that's parked in your driveway? I really don't want to give Charlie a bad impression on me."

She cringed and felt very reluctant but nodded sadly.

"I'll be back very very quickly, I promise."

"One minute." She said.

"I promise." Then I zoomed out and hid my car somewhere and ran back to Bella with seconds to spare. I had to hide the car, Charlie would just blow if he saw it and he was on his way home… I think.

I plopped down beside her and I was greeted immediately by an arm clinging on to mine.

"Wow that was fast." She murmured.

"I told you I'd be back."

Her eyes were closed and she was still burning but she managed a small smile.

"I'm sorry I never got to try your breakfast." Bella muttered.

"Oh right. Well, there's always tomorrow, and the next day, and the next…" then I stopped right there. I didn't know how long this would last.

She noticed that and opened her eyes tiredly. Silently understanding. Then she spoke up.

"Jasper, I'm glad you're here. You don't know how grateful I am that you're here, comforting me."

She made me smile for the umpteenth time today. "Of course I _know_." I said smugly.

She rolled her eyes. "But the soup you made me was good."

"Glad you like it."

Then she examined my eyes and traced the dark circles under them and frowned.

"You're thirsty."

I nodded slowly. "I can manage. I'll probably go hunt tomorrow when you're in school."

Noticing the panic quell in her I added quickly, "I'll be back just in time to tuck you in before you go to sleep tomorrow night, I promise."

She relaxed.

"Jasper, I really need someone right now. I think I have formed some kind of abandonment issue. Please, please don't leave me with the sole exception of hunting, please, please? I'm sorry for being selfish but please?"

"You don't need to beg Bella. You say what you need and I'll deliver. I'll stay with you, now you really must get some sleep or else I have to resort to using a dose of lethargy." I threatened with humor in my voice.

"Okay, okay."

"Good. Now close your eyes and I'll sing you to sleep again."

She obeyed.

_Find me here  
And speak to me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That is leading me  
To the place where  
I find peace again  
You are the strength  
That keeps me walking  
You are the hope  
That keeps me trusting  
You are the life to my soul  
You are my purpose  
You're everything_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_You calm the storms  
You give me rest  
You hold me in your hands  
You won't let me fall  
You steal my heart  
And you take my breath away  
Would you take me in  
Would you take me deeper now_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
_

_Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_Cause you're all I want  
You're all I need  
You're everything  
Everything_

_You're all I want  
You're all I need  
You're everything  
Everything_

_You're all I want  
You're all I need  
You're everything  
Everything_

_You're all I want  
You're all I need  
You're everything  
Everything_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

_And how can I  
Stand here with you  
And not be moved by you  
Would you tell me  
_

_How could it be  
Any better than this_

_Would you tell me  
How could it be  
Any better than this_

* * *

**AN: Hurrah aced my biochemistry quiz! Take **_**that**_** amino acids! So as a surprise, I'm updating today. Yay! And another good news, I have no classes on Friday so lucky for both of us, eh? God must really love us. (",) On to the next chapter. That's right, I'm posting **_**two **_**today because aside from the above announcements, I'm loving all of you guys who gave fast and much appreciated reviews. I told you, I'd update faster if I get them. (",)**

**Oh, poll's still up and Edward's coming **_**soon**_**. So far, you guys want Jasper. But let's see…**

**Luvntwilight: Thanks, I love my name as well. And yeah, I am familiar with M. Hemingway. Too bad she killed herself. **

**JakesImprint: Aw. I did too.**

**Regan94: Yup. Plenty of 'selfish' people here. Thanks for the love (in the not weird way of course).**

**All the other reviewers: I appreciate all the feedback you give me! The effort alone makes me cry with joy. I will finish this story, I promise.**

**Song here is Everything by Lifehouse**

**Keep Fueling your Imagination,**

**Margaux**


	7. Chapter 7: Smooth Sailing

"_Jasper, I really need someone right now. I think I have formed some kind of abandonment issue. Please, please don't leave me with the sole exception of hunting, please, please? I'm sorry for being selfish but please?"_

"_You don't need to beg Bella. You say what you need and I'll deliver. I'll stay with you, now you really must get some sleep or else I have to resort to using a dose of lethargy." I threatened with humor in my voice._

"_Okay, okay."_

"_Good. Now close your eyes and I'll sing you to sleep again."_

_She obeyed._

* * *

**Chapter 7: Smooth Sailing**

It's been two months now and Bella finally said she loves me. That's right. She _loves _me! But right now, I was stuck in her living room. We just dropped the bomb on Charlie and now he was having a word with her in the kitchen. He was fuming and worried. I never meant to eavesdrop but _hypersensitive hearing, _anyone?

"Oh no, no, no. I'm not letting you go through this again, young lady!" He roared.

"Dad…"

"Bells, anyone but him!" I felt him throw his hands up in the air.

Bella grew irritated. "And why not him?"

"I know he's a fine man and he made you feel all better and all but Bells, he is _his _brother! Does _he _know? Does his _family _know? What if _he _comes back? Well?" the man has a point. I frowned. But I'm not letting that destroy my day.

"Well, _he's _not here, as you can see. I thought you wanted me to move on so I am." Bella pressed, getting irked and irked by the minute I had to suppress my laugh.

"You were starting to do just fine without him."

"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. With Jasper, I feel _better. _I am _better!" _I smiled at that. Bella was fighting for me.

"But Bells!"

"Dad, I know you're worried about me but I'm old enough to make decisions on my own. Please trust me. I need your support. You don't know how much I want you involved in my life. Ever since… you 

know… I don't want a rift in all my relationships with people I care about. Please, please trust me." she said pleadingly.

And I felt Charlie softened and defeated. "Fine. But I have ground rules, okay?"

Bella hugged him tight. "Yeah! Thanks dad!"

Charlie, not the softest cotton in the pack, patted Bella's back awkwardly and sighed. "Hm. Fine. Now, let me get a good talk with him in private."

That was my cue to brace myself. When they walked into the living room, I faced Charlie with the biggest smile I could do.

"Jasper, I am allowing you to date my baby girl."

My eyes lit up but he continued. "But."

"But?" I waited earnestly. Fighting another urge to laugh. I don't think all the rules would be that bad, considering.

"But I'm setting some rules here. First, visiting hours is from six to nine-thirty in the evening on weekdays."

"But dad, Jasper is only here during the weekends…" Bella protested.

"Hm. Fine. I'm still keeping that though if he decides to come on those nights. Friday, you have until ten-thirty. You can take her out every weekend on dates but curfew's at least until midnight, ten on Sundays and all the places should be near, understood?"

"Yes, sir." I said politely. Those weren't so bad.

"Oh and if you hurt my girl, or do funny stuff, I will hunt you down and put you in jail and all the things that come with it." he threatened. He was chief Swan right now.

"Of course, sir. I understand."

"Good." Satisfied, he made sat down on the sofa and turned on the television. Bella and I walked out into her porch.

"Well that went well." I sight brightly.

She groaned. "That was embarrassing!"

I snickered. Then draped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her head. "Oh, it wasn't that bad."

She sighed. "Yeah. I guess." Then she smiled.

A moment of silence.

"Jasper?"

"Yes?"

She shifted her feet then tripped. I caught her of course and she blushed madly.

"My, my. Clumsy again, are we?"

She punched me playfully and I felt nothing and laughed. She scowled at me.

"I'm sorry." I contained myself. "I'll behave now. So where were we?" I leaned down, an inch between our faces again.

She softened her expression and blushed again and my lips quirked a little. I could feel her embarrassment and excitement.

"I meant what… what you heard last night…"

I tilted my head a bit, making her heart race, "Oh?"

"You probably know it, heck, you're Jasper, of course you know it."

I touched her face, "Me?" I mocked. "Do tell me, I don't know."

She sighed then smiled shyly. "Jasper, I'm in love with you."

"Really?" I said seductively, breathing on her face, sending her into frenzy.

"Y-yes."

I leaned down closer, my lips brushing lightly like butterfly wings against her pale soft skin. "I know. I'm in love with you too." I whispered huskily which was easy for my bass voice.

Then our lips met once again. Eager. Enthusiastic. But no more desperation… or guilt. Just happiness and love.

* * *

**AN: Ah. Feels so light without the drama for once. Quick chapter but I have to leave it like that for now. I'll leave the rest to your imagination for now as I'm brainstorming with what to do in the next chapter. As usual, the more reviews, the faster I update. I'm not greedy, just happy with feedback. Tell me some suggestions you have and I'll try to squeeze it in. (",)**

**Keep Fueling your Imagination,**

**Margaux**


	8. Chapter 8: Broken Wings, Then Fix, then

**AN: If you've browsed through my other stories, you'll notice I so rarely do Bella's POV. But I think I can't hold off on what she's thinking in this story. I still won't do Bella's POV all the way. Just snippets of her thoughts here and there are all you'll read. So here you go.**

* * *

_She sighed then smiled shyly. "Jasper, I'm in love with you."_

"_Really?" I said seductively, breathing on her face, sending her into frenzy._

"_Y-yes."_

_I leaned down closer, my lips brushing lightly like butterfly wings against her pale soft skin. "I know. I'm in love with you too." I whispered huskily which was easy for my bass voice._

_Then our lips met once again. Eager. Enthusiastic. But no more desperation… or guilt. Just happiness and love._

* * *

**Chapter 8: Broken Wings, Then Fix, Then Fly**

Bella's POV:

After that amazing kiss in the porch, yes, "Jasper Kisses" are on top of my list right now, I made my way to my room. Jasper just 'left' meaning, he parked his car somewhere and is now waiting upstairs.

I can't help but smile and blush. I mean, this is Jasper! I still can't believe that I fell for him. Carlisle and Esme already know by the way. They settled back here in Forks but they left for a week because Carlisle had to attend a medical convention in Chicago.

How did they react? Well of course they felt weird. Heck. We _all _felt weird about this but being very open, cool parents, they never judged. But though they didn't say it, I was sure that they felt bad about…about Edward of course. But Carlisle's eyes told me that he understands, well after scrutinizing my health issues of course. He made Jasper make me eat a lot to gain back the weight I lost.

Esme, loving sweet Esme, said that she's just happy that I'm happy and Jasper as well considering he had a heartache to take care of prior to me of course.

Emmett and Rosalie were still enjoying their honeymoon. They'll be back soon. Oh, I don't know if they knew because Jasper told me that contacting them was out of the question as they've hung a "Do not disturb" sign on their alone time.

As for Alice, she said in a phone call that she was happy for both Jasper and me. She wouldn't tell me what's in the future but she said that me and Jasper should just enjoy our time and each other's presence. She was in Paris. Shopping, probably. I missed her. But she said that she was giving us space to adjust as she was doing too.

Then there's… Edward… sill no sign of him or even a word. No one knew if he was still in Europe. No one knew where he was.

At first I really felt so guilty. What am I saying? I'm still a little guilty right now. I don't know what would happen if he comes. I'm… scared actually. He is and forever will be holding a special part in my heart like Jasper has for Alice. But I'm with Jasper right now. I love him. And things are finally looking good for us. He really lets me breathe and rest.

I opened the door to my room and entered.

"Well that took long." A deep, silk voice said. I could almost feel him smirk. He was leaning on the wall for support, his arms folded across his chest his golden eyes falling on his eyes.

I smirked back. A habit I got from him. Then I decided to tease him by walking with exaggerated slow steps towards him. Holding back the urge to laugh.

I felt him groan. Hah!

But lo and behold! The mighty tripster well, tripped in front of my pale, blonde, angel.

He caught me of course. His muscled arms around me. I blushed madly as he laughed his silken voice so smooth and deep at my embarrassment.

I scowled at him.

Then he stopped laughing, smiled at me then locked his eyes on me and I melted. "I'm sorry, beautiful." My cheeks heated up again. That's what he called me, since he said my name meant that in another language that I momentarily forgot right now like how I'm forgetting my name by the second.

"I shouldn't have laughed at you. Let me make it up to you." he said, I can't believe what I'm saying but, he said that, _dazzling _me.

I sighed. "Fine but you'd better."

His eyes lit up and he grinned. But before he crushed his lips on mine, I noticed, really noticed his eyes. They were ocher. I frowned and he stopped, alarmed.

"Why are you suddenly sad, Bella?" he asked, full of concern.

"You're thirsty." I traced the lines under his eyes.

He frowned slightly and touched my face. "I'll hunt tomorrow. But I can manage to be with you tonight." He smiled again.

"Okay." I whispered.

"Please don't be sad. You'll ruin that beautiful face of yours. We've done this a million times, surely you should've gotten used to it."

"But I hate it when you're not with me!" I whined. Very mature, Bella. But I didn't care. Jasper taught me to be honest and be more vocal.

He chuckled, "I know. I can feel it. Hmmm… maybe I could go some other time then if it makes you feel better…" he pondered. And I felt sick. No way am I letting him suffer.

"No. you go. The sooner you go, the faster you'll come back. Just don't leave for long…okay?"

He smiled again, "I promise."

"Good." I cried happily. Then I hugged him tight and his arms encircled me automatically.

"Why the sudden embrace and adamant gratitude, beautiful?" he whispered softly in my hair.

"It's just that I'm so grateful that you're here with me." I whispered back.

_Thank you for being such a friend to me_

_Oh I pray a friend for life,_

_And have I ever told you how much you mean to me?_

"You mean a lot to me Jasper." More than you'll ever know. More than your powers could ever comprehend to feel I added in my thoughts.

_Oh you're everything to me_

Right now, he is everything for me. I never thought I'd feel like this again after Edward. But I did.

_Thinking all the time how to tell you what I feel,_

_Contemplating phrases...I'm gazing at eternity,_

_I am floating in serenity..._

These past months, I battled with myself on what I really felt about Jasper. I admittedly acted upon desperation but I grew to love him, love how patient he was, love how he knew what I needed and never hesitated to give them to me, love how he lets me help him as well. No, he still doesn't compare with Edward but Edward can't also compare with Jasper. They both have given me different things - wonderful things. Comparing them was like comparing Chocolate Ice cream with everything on top and the most mouthwatering porterhouse steak. Both extremely good. Both exactly different things.

_And I am so lost for words_

_And I am so overwhelmed_

I didn't want to think about Edward right now. It just brings on the hurt. I know that deep down, this feels all wrong but what if it's also right? No one can really tell. So please, don't hate me. I just don't 

want pain anymore and Jasper has given me new feelings to make waking up to a new day feel so wonderful. He makes me feel so good.

_Please don't leave just yet_

_Can you stay a moment please?_

_We can dance together_

_We can dance forever_

Of course, he needed to go tomorrow. Leaving always made me sad but he said he would come back and I trust him. But I was going to make the most of whatever time we have right now. Jasper really made me appreciate the present. He taught me to lessen my paranoia and worry. He taught me to trust again. I smiled widely and hugged him tighter and I felt him kiss my hair and hold me closer as well.

_Under your stars tonight_

_We'll live and breathe this dream_

_So close your eyes, but don't dream too deep_

_And please pass me some memories_

Jasper and I made beautiful memories together no matter how few they were. We had to go through a lot of hurt and guilt to be where we are right now after all. That's why I'm always looking forward now to making more memories with him.

_And when I fall you're underneath_

_1000 broken hearts, carried by 1000 broken wings_

What really made me fall for Jasper Hale was the fact that even through my worst he saw me. He didn't only see me but he made me feel better at any cost.

I took comfort in knowing that since he already knew me at my worst that whenever I would feel anguish or depressed or broken again that he would always be there for me.

But this was Jasper, how could anybody _feel _bad with him around? Well, unless you piss him off, I guess.

"You mean a lot to me too, Bella." He said so smooth and soft so full of love.

Then he made me face him and we got caught up again in a kiss with nothing but joy and love.

"I love you Jasper." I said against his lips.

I felt him smile against mine and he filled me with so much love instantly. No, he wasn't messing with my feelings.

His love was pouring out of him and into me.

As I was into him.

* * *

**AN: The song here is Broken Wings by Flyleaf. I express feelings better through songs, so I couldn't resist adding this. Thanks for all the support! I think I might end the story by chapter 15. So I'm going to need to post the remaining chapters, one at a time. The frequency is up to you though and you're reviews. So if you want me to update on a daily basis or at least every other day, give me feedback!**

**Edward is still coming back. I know there are some of you who want to see him fight. I agree with that. But when he'll come back… ah that is the question.**

**Oh right, I just noticed it but we can now select the main characters for Twilight fanfictions. Yay, easier browsing! Better edit my stories...**

**Keep Fueling your Imagination,**

**Margaux**


	9. Chapter 9: I'm Still Here

_What really made me fall for Jasper Hale was the fact that even through my worst he saw me. He didn't only see me but he made me feel better at any cost._

_I took comfort in knowing that since he already knew me at my worst that whenever I would feel anguish or depressed or broken again that he would always be there for me._

_But this was Jasper, how could anybody feel bad with him around? Well, unless you piss him off, I guess._

"_You mean a lot to me too, Bella." He said so smooth and soft so full of love._

_Then he made me face him and we got caught up again in a kiss with nothing but joy and love._

"_I love you Jasper." I said against his lips._

_I felt him smile against mine and he filled me with so much love instantly. No, he wasn't messing with my feelings._

_His love was pouring out of him and into me._

_As I was into him._

* * *

**Chapter 9: I'm still here**

Stupid. If I had another name, stupid would be it. Here I was, driving so fast to get there… get to her… I shouldn't have done what I did. It's been five months already. Five months of hell to be specific. I can't stand it any longer. I'm weak. There I admit it. Right now I was weak and I'm giving up my resolve. I have to go now… go to her… apologize… among other things…

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
you don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart_

Damn. Red light. Why don't I just run to her? I shook my head. I had to do this right. First I would have to drive my car to my house then run to her. Because if she… agrees with what I had to say then I would need this car to avoid suspicions from neighbors about my appearance. But now, I slammed my hand on the wheel, almost crushing it. Damn traffic. Please wait a little longer… I'm coming…

_  
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions  
Oh lets go back to the start  
Running in circles, coming up tails  
Heads on a silence apart_

I need to go back to the start. I would take anything that she would say to me, any questions, any revelations, anything from her. All this time I've been running in circles, forever in limbo, battling on returning to her or sticking to my decision. I didn't leave because I didn't love her. That was preposterous!

I can't believe I lied to her and told her I didn't want her.

That was the blackest of all lies._  
_

_  
Nobody said it was easy  
Oh its such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said that it would be this hard  
Oh take me back to the start_

I just… couldn't give her what she wanted… I can't change her… I can't… I just can't… I want it though… I want it for myself so badly. But I can't damn her soul. She was too precious a life for that. I just can't. I love her so much that I'm willing to get myself hurt for that. But here I was, going back to her.

_  
I was just guessing at numbers and figures  
pulling your puzzles apart  
Questions of science, science and progress  
do not speak as loud as my heart_

Thinking things through logically, I knew how she felt about growing old while I stayed the same. But I didn't want to force her into our kind of living. Humans were meant to grow old and die. Though seventy years were awfully short for an eternal being like me that was better in my eyes to let her live naturally than damn her. But my heart was telling me something else. I did not want only seventy years. I wanted eternity with her. I cringed. If I did change her, I knew I wasn't forcing her into anything. It was what she wanted. She would've given up her humanity in a heartbeat, literally in this case for me and that made me love her more, love her selflessness. I didn't deserve her.

_  
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start  
Running in circles, chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are  
_

Oh how I want for things to go back the way they were with her telling me that she loves me accompanied with that beautiful blush on her radiant face. I wanted so bad to hear her voice, hear her call out my name… see her… see those deep beautiful brown eyes so caring and loving…

_  
Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start_

That's right. I'm coming back. It won't be easy, god knows it's not. But I have to try. If I have to I'd beg her to take me back… whatever it takes!

* * *

**AN: I'm pretty sure you all know who's talking here. If for some reason you don't (though I seriously doubt it), well… wait up for the next chapter. Things are getting interesting. How will this turn out? **

**Tell me what you think. Keep me happy and bring on the feedback and I'll update fast.**

**Song here is The Scientist by Coldplay.**

**Keep Fueling your Imagination,**

**Margaux**


	10. Chapter 10: Great Expectations

_Oh how I want for things to go back the way they were with her telling me that she loves me accompanied with that beautiful blush on her radiant face. I wanted so bad to hear her voice, hear her call out my name… see her… see those deep beautiful brown eyes so caring and loving… _

_  
Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start_

_That's right. I'm coming back. It won't be easy, god knows it's not. But I have to try. If I have to I'd beg her to take me back… whatever it takes!_

* * *

**Chapter 10: Great Expectations**

I pulled out near our house, not really bothering to park in the garage. I was thinking of ditching hunting and going to Bella right away. No, that's it. Enough contemplating, I'm heading straight towards her!

So I did. I was… in a way, scared of what I might see. Would I find her okay? I hoped so.

Would she have moved on? I cringed at that. I was torn. What my _superego_ (AN: the morality division of the unconscious according to Freud) was telling me was if I found that she has moved on, then I would be okay with that. This was my plan all along anyway. Her moving on was a good thing. A positive thing.

But then… my _id _(the pleasure seeking division of the unconscious according to Freud again) was telling me, _No you don't you idiot. You want her for yourself, yours and yours alone. You love her. You want her. You need her. _

So it was down to my _ego_ (the mediator between the two divisions of the unconscious. The one who calls the shots. Freud still). Damn. I'm so…argh… I've turned to psychology!

Will she… _take me back_… after the wretched thing I've done?

I could still remember the last time I saw her. She was broken up, I hated myself with passion. But the worst part was seeing her believe all the bull I told her, that I didn't want her anymore… on my first try at that. I thought that I would have to lie all day and night just to plant some doubt on her mind but she believed me…

I almost abandoned my plan and told her all that I said were nothing but lies.

I would never forgive myself for what I did.

I love Bella… I always have.

Now I'm here… outside her window… feeling nervous but excited to just feel her presence. The proximity was clearly evident right now.

I peered through her window. It was open! I felt a tug of hope. Did she leave it open for me? Had she waited all this time for me?

Oh Bella! Hope clung to every inch of my being. I felt so relieved and ecstatic.

I saw her curled up on her bed, reading her battered copy of Wuthering Heights. Quoting from Heathcliff, _I cannot live without my love, I cannot live without my life!_

I stealthily climbed in, bracing myself for whatever wrath I might endure but I could not help but smile. I've gone so long without seeing her and now that I could make out her every feature… her small fragile body… her smooth snowy skin… her luscious dark brown locks… her deep hazel eyes… pink soft full lips…

I stood still as I felt her notice me. I saw the tips of her lips quirk upward. She was smiling. I grinned like an idiot. But she never looked up from her book. I could feel the rush of blood on her cheeks. She felt happy and relieved as well, I could not believe this!

I stood rooted there with a crooked smile on my lips but though my eyes were lit up with joy, they were still tinged with nervousness. I didn't know how to start.

Then I watched her straighten up then hopped off from her bed, her back still to me, and then I heard her lovely voice that was so unexpectedly cheerful.

"Glad you're back." She said. I grinned even wider. She did wait!

"Sure took your sweet t-…" she turned to me and gasped. Shocked and something I could not fathom registered on her face as she trailed off on the last word, "time…"

Her expression confused me. She was genuinely surprised and was that… disappointment? Like it wasn't me she was expecting. But I let that slide. No, that was impossible. I was the only one, as I recall who came and gone in and out of her window at this time. So I grinned at her lopsidedly instead.

"Yes. Yes, I am back. Hello…Bella." I said softly. She looked at me… puzzled… worried…

"Edward?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper, almost in disbelief.

I closed the gap between us and took her into my arms.

"Yes… yes it's me… I'm here. I'm sorry it took me a long time, love. I'm such a fool to even think of leaving. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me…" I pleaded while stroking her hair and inhaling her scent. It was 

still the same sweet smell yet… strangely different, I wondered how that came to be but I pushed all that away right now. I was just so happy to hold her in my arms again. I didn't care to take in the smallest details.

Yet… I could feel her hesitation. That was expected, I suppose. I left her with the biggest lie in the world then came back just like that. Then she slowly… put an arm around my back…pausing once… then finally resting there lightly.

"I love you… I always have… always will… I'm here and I won't leave again if you take me back… it was only a matter of time that I contemplated coming back, begging for you to take me back… please believe me. I only left to give you a chance at living a normal human life but I lied when I said that I didn't want you anymore. That was the blackest lie I ever had to say. It pained me to see you believe all the things I said after all the times I said that I loved you. I loathe myself for ever saying that I didn't want you. Of course I want you, silly Bella. You are my life. I cannot imagine a world without you…I cannot imagine an eternity without you… I love you…so much…"

She didn't say anything but she started to cry, not just cry, but plainly burst into tears, her body rocking to her trembling. I pulled out from our embrace to look at her face. I wiped the tears and massaged her cheek gently. She was sobbing really hard. I didn't know what to think. She wouldn't even look at me.

I lifted her chin gently and made her look at me. "Please look at me. Don't cry, I'm here now and I'm truly sorry, but I'm here… I won't leave ever again…"

She looked at me with sad confused eyes. It was still killing me not knowing what she's thinking. But I wanted to kill myself anyways for ever making Bella cry and go through all this. She doesn't deserve all this.

But right now I just missed her so much… so I did what I craved for all these months of being stuck in a hell hole of pain… without warning I kissed her.

I kissed her again and again. Earnestly… more enthusiastic than I ever allowed myself to go holding her tighter even as I felt tears running down her face like a dam broken...

But a movement from outside broke me from my kiss. My head snapped to the direction of Bella's window but ended up shocked and then doubly shocked with Bella's reaction.

She jerked up and looked frantically over my shoulder, tip toeing, then her eyes widened and her mouth hung. And it all made sense to me why she was acting so perplexed and hesitant.

Her scent, her bedroom's scent… the unexpected greeting… all pointed to that one exclamation that escaped her lips… one that I did not ever expect to hear… it all dawned upon me and all I could do was stand frozen with my expression a mirror image of Bella's, eyes wide as saucers, mouth hung….

Bella pushed past me and ran towards her window and cried,

"_Jasper!"_

* * *

**AN: Yup. Edward's back. And Yup, it was Edward who was driving in the previous chapter and he's the one talking here as well. **

**Poor Edward, he was feeling so hopeful that he misunderstood all the warning signs. **

**Poor Bella, now she will have to face making an inevitable choice.**

**Poor Jasper, he saw the reunion.**

**Gosh, I'm such a sadist. (",)**

**Polls still up, btw.**

**Sorry for the cliffhanger. Send some love and I'll update sooner. Tell me what do you think will happen. I need to know how you want me to take this. Thanks for reading!**

**P.S. A friend of mine asked where my disclaimer was. It's on the first chapter. It's understood for the rest of the story that it follows. So there. Stephenie Mayer owns Twilight. I'm not claiming anything.**

**Time to answer some comments:**

**regan94: Thanks for liking my song choices. This started with a song so it's bound to have more songs here. I can't write without music. (",)**

**greenbeansporks: I know exactly what you mean. But I don't want to portray anyone as a bad guy here in my story, that's why Edward is still the loving Edward here. I'm still torn on who I want Bella to end up with.**

**xoxErinxxx: Emmett and Bella story? Hmmm... I'll get back to you on that... **

**twilightdaydream: I'll update daily if I can help it. So far, everything's going smoothly, people might get their wish.**

**my-edward-1992: Edward and Alice? Um... Jasper said in my oneshot (Say All I Need) that there is someone looking for her... as for Edward...**

**Everyone else: I see some are converting over back to "Edward and Bella forever" mode. Maybe I should put Jacob here... just a thought... Ha-ha. Wait until you read the next chapter... **

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**


	11. Chapter 11: Stop & Stare

_She jerked up and looked frantically over my shoulder, tip toeing, then her eyes widened and her mouth hung. And it all made sense to me why she was acting so perplexed and hesitant. _

_Her scent, her bedroom's scent… the unexpected greeting… all pointed to that one exclamation that escaped her lips… one that I did not ever expect to hear… it all dawned upon me and all I could do was stand frozen with my expression a mirror image of Bella's, eyes wide as saucers, mouth hung…._

_Bella pushed past me and ran towards her window and cried, _

"_Jasper!"_

_-Edward._

* * *

**Chapter 11: Stop & Stare**

_**JPOV:**_

I was on my way back to Bella's after my hunting trip. I was very excited as usual to see her again. But I had to do a little detour home to change out my 'dirty' clothes.

Once I was walking near the entrance of my house I froze at what I saw parked haphazardly on the side of the path. Imagine your worst recurring nightmare that kept you up for countless nights come true and played in repeat before you.

Parked there was a shiny silver Volvo.

_Damn!_

Without seconds to spare I bolted as fast as I could towards Bella and praying that I wasn't too late.

His distinct scent filled my nose as it was getting dangerously stronger with each step I take towards Bella's.

When I arrived, I only managed to half-climb the window that my hand and knee were glued to the panes, my mouth hung, my eyes bulged and most of all my heart sank and felt like it was ripped off my chest, trampled by spike-laden shoes of a whole soccer team then dropped in a blender… shredded and minced at what I saw.

_This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us  
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust _

"Please look at me. Don't cry, I'm here now and I'm truly sorry, but I'm here… I won't leave ever again…" I heard Edward say to her. He… he's back… Edward's back… my warm Bella laden existence instantly froze over. Was life sick of the idea of Bella and me and decided to… set things…right?

_I've got my heart set on anywhere but here  
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years  
_

Thoughts ran throughout my head and I felt every emotion coming off from them. I felt Edward feel so relieved and love gushed forth from him. And Bella was confused, relieved, guilty and scared. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to get out of here. Anywhere but here! This cannot be happening.

_  
Steady hands, just take the wheel...  
And every glance is killing me  
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead_

Every touch that I saw Edward place on Bella, my eyes clouded over but feeling the sincerity from Edward I knew I can't do anything. He was back. He was in. and I… I was out… Every movement he made… every look… sent pain through my body… I just wanted to keel over and die.

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared _

Stop and stare. That's what I did. My mind told me that I should leave so as not to witness this pure torturous scenario but my body betrayed me. My eyes never leaving the scene. Everyone was feeling so scared. I was scared because of the great possibility that Bella was going to take back Edward. Edward was feeling scared that Bella might push him away. Bella was feeling scared of her confusion.

_But I've become what I can't be, oh _

I had let things go on for too long. I know that I planned on only warming up Edward's spot but my selfishness overtook me… I've become someone I'm not supposed to be… I'm not supposed to be with Bella… taking in the pure joy and love she gave… not when I was partly responsible for all that has happened… our family's departure… Edward's decision… who am I kidding, I can never replace Edward.

_Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't what you really need  
Oh, can u see what I see _

_No._ I deserved to be with Bella as well. I had to remind myself that so what if I almost bit her? Edward didn't have to use that to leave Bella. He could've just sent all of us away and stayed behind here to be with her if Bella's safety was the issue or just send me way if he was so scared I might take another bite at her. But now, he did something drastic and unnecessary. Can't anyone see that?

_I_ should be there in his place right now. _I_ should be the one holding her. _I _should be the one…_is he about to kiss her?!_

_They're tryin to come back, all my senses push  
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could... _

As he was leaning closer and closer to her… holding her tighter… touching her face, alarm bells went off on my mind and I had to leave _right now_ or I might do something I regret. So I ordered my body to move. I still couldn't but I was trying.

_Steady feet, don't fail me now  
Gonna run till you can't walk  
But something pulls my focus out  
And I'm standing down... _

But my body is betraying me still. _You'll only end up hurt if you stay here and witness this. _The little voice in my head warned. But I couldn't look away… I just couldn't… damn, I really need to go. This was bound to happen, I thought. Then… but then…

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh  
Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're here not there  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
_

Come on, move it Jasper! This is how it's supposed to be! She belongs with him, and he to her.

_No. I refuse to believe that all two months that we had together was nothing but a distraction. She had just started to say she loves me and now…_

_EAAAARRRGGGHHHH!_

_But fair ain't what you really need  
Oh, you don't need  
What u need, what u need... _

Didn't I deserve to be happy as well? I've been with her through her hardest time, I've been nothing but patient… nothing but there for her… so I'm just another mistake for her? I didn't blame her though. I couldn't. I was the one who offered myself. I was the one who said that she try and if things don't work out, that she could make a mistake with me… and was this it? But I love her… I _need _her. Her and only her. It's not fair, or is it?

Still marble stiff, I watched the scene unfold, dying with each second… then… _it happened_… and my whole being shattered into bits and pieces and poured with acid as my eyes bulged almost out off their sockets, my mouth ajar at what I witnessed…and felt…

Finally mustering all the ounce of strength I had…and all the remaining self-preservation I kept…

I jumped out and ran.

"_Jasper!"_

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be  
Oh, do u see what I see._

* * *

**AN: Song here is Stop & Stare by OneRepublic (love this band).**

**Here's what's running through Jasper's thoughts about Bella and Edward's reunion. This was very hard to do. So people, still on with TeamJasper or TeamEdward or do you want to see what's inside curtain number three? Just kidding. **

**I'm closing my poll after the next chapter to give you an update, and then because of other things I've planned for this story, I might need to open up a new poll to get last chance votations. The following chapters will sway your mind to this side then back to that side and back again so think really hard before voting. **

**It's decided and written in stone. I'm ending this with chapter 20 no matter who Bella is ending up with.**

**I'll update soon. But I have to leave you hanging here so you could tell me what you think about Jasper and the situation he's facing.**

**Starting Monday, I "probably" won't be able to update on a daily basis. I've been assigned to be the leader to a lot of group researches and reports so blame my blockmates for snatching some of my time. So there. Do leave reviews, thanks.**

**Oh right. About how Bella felt... well you have to wait up for that. (",)**

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**


	12. Chapter 12: Juxtapose

**DEAR READERS:**

**I'm not evil. I _do not_ enjoy being cruel to Jasper, Edward and most of all, Bella. I'm just giving you a glimpse of how hard REALITY is. This is what real people feel when faced with the same situation. It really is that painful, especially when no one has really done anything BUT try to live on and be happy. This story is based on a REAL story. So I'm sorry if you think I'm too cruel and all but when you're nineteen or older, you'll relate well and understand. Not everything is roses and lilies. All the good people suffer the most. The world isn't fair, I know. But there's a reason good people suffer, it's because they are the ones that can take the pain and still live on. So Sorry for the rant. I just don't want to be misunderstood as a sadistic writer who torments characters. Thank you. **

* * *

_Still marble stiff, I watched the scene unfold, dying with each second… then… it happened… and my whole being shattered into bits and pieces and poured with acid as my eyes bulged almost out off their sockets, my mouth ajar at what I witnessed…and felt…_

_Finally mustering all the ounce of strength I had…and all the remaining self-preservation I kept…_

_I jumped out and ran._

"_Jasper!"_

**-Jasper**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Juxtapose**

**Bella's POV:**

I wrapped a towel around myself and took my time in changing into my night wear. I had to make good with my time as Jasper was still out hunting and my abandonment issues were going to drive me up the wall. I was anxious when I'm left alone.

So I decided to lather myself with some lotion, blow dry my hair then finally change into a green large shirt (I smiled. Green was Jasper's favorite color) and black sweat pants then plopped down on my bed.

I glanced at the clock, it was still early. It was just nine in the evening. Jasper won't be here for at least thirty more minutes. I sighed. I missed him already. I really am in love with Jasper, but I still had so much time to myself.

So then I grabbed the sole book left on top of my lamp desk. It was my battered copy of Wuthering Heights. I frowned remembering that… that I last read this when… Edward was still here, complaining that it wasn't a love story but a hate story. Then I laughed a bit. I was laughing at that memory. This was good. Meaning I have moved on and I'm not affected my feelings before and I have dealt with what happened as a natural human experience… well hardly human, oh what the hey. Maybe Jasper and I were really meant to be. I grinned to myself.

So while waiting for my blonde angel, I curled up on my bed and started to read.

_Thud._

I heard the faintest thud coming from my window and my mouth quirked a bit upward. Jasper must be here already! Hmmm… I won't run to him this time. No, I'm going to tease him like he did yesterday. I love how comfortable I was with Jasper. He was so _human. _

Still no movement. I chuckled in my thoughts. He must be waiting for me to go and hug him. Not this time, Jasper. So I didn't look up from my book for a while then I finally straightened up, my back still to him, put down my book then slowly turned to walk up to him while saying,

"Glad you're back." I smirked and added, "Sure took your sweet t-." I stopped talking and gasped at who was standing before me. My eyes grew big and my mouth was left hanging. I was completely and unmistakably surprised. "Time…" I finished my sentence in the last ditch effort of stalling to analyze everything. This was probably a dream because right here in front of me, looking like a Greek god, bronze hair, beautiful crooked smile and the undeniably distinct sweet smell… was Edward.

"Yes. Yes, I am back. Hello…Bella." He said in that same gentle velvet voice of his. And I only became more confused as ever. Sure I was prepared to face the greatest amount of pain to become immortal, sure I was prepared to face a coven of vampires… sure I was prepared for all the bad luck in the world that has me in and out of the emergency room on a daily basis… but nothing, _nothing _had me prepared for this.

"Edward?" I finally said in disbelief. I was so confused. I knew on some level that he was coming back but I don't know. If this happened two months before I would not feel weird about feeling the relief of seeing him right now… but no… feeling relieved that he was here made me so guilty… because shadowing my relief was disappointment. Jasper was the one I was waiting for _at this time. _I already waited for Edward for the longest time but this wasn't the time. This time, it's Jasper. Oh Jasper…

Then… my emotions went on overdrive as he rushed and took me into his arms. I just stood there, frozen. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel or what I should be doing.

_The one you called your one true love is finally back here. He came back to you. He's here. Isn't this what you've wanted all along?_

The voice in my head said. Was this really what I wanted?

_But he left you, remember? And who picked up the broken pieces? Jasper's coming back any minute now. Isn't he what you wanted right now?_

I felt smaller and smaller by the minute. This was hell. I'm happy that Edward is here and the same time I felt sad that he was here. I wanted him. And I didn't want him. Oh god.

"Yes… yes it's me… I'm here. I'm sorry it took me a long time, love. I'm such a fool to even think of leaving. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me…" he said softly with pleading and regret in his voice as he stroked my hair and inhaling my scent. I was dumbstruck. I felt so helplessly confused. He was sorry. He was apologizing.

_He left you. He said he didn't want you. He said that he's tired of being what he isn't. And yet you're willing to take him back just like that?_

But he's Edward. _He's Edward! _

_And Jasper's still Jasper. Didn't he matter?_

My eyes grew big with horror. Of course Jasper mattered. He was important. I love him. But being in Edward's arms again… feeling him…feeling me… I did love him… he's still special to me… but do I still love him like I did before?

Then, I slowly raised my arms… hesitating… pausing… then finally rested them on Edward's back. I felt like a mouse trap with something pushing me to move yet pulling me down at the same time, holding me back.

What was the right thing to do?

What do _I _want to do?

What do _I _need to do?

"I love you… I always have… always will… I'm here and I won't leave again if you take me back… it was only a matter of time that I contemplated coming back, begging for you to take me back… please believe me. I only left to give you a chance at living a normal human life but I lied when I said that I didn't want you anymore. That was the blackest lie I ever had to say. It pained me to see you believe all the things I said after all the times I said that I loved you. I loathe myself for ever saying that I didn't want you. Of course I want you, silly Bella. You are my life. I cannot imagine a world without you…I cannot imagine an eternity without you… I love you…so much…" he said with nothing but the strongest conviction I ever heard from him and with so much honesty and sincerity.

So he didn't leave me because he didn't love me. He didn't leave me because he didn't want me. He didn't leave me because he was tired of pretending to be someone he's not.

No.

He left _for _me.

He left for _my soul._

He left to give me a _chance at living a normal human life._

Then, I burst out crying hard. Edward wanted me. Edward loved me. Edward hurt himself out of his love for me. He valued my life so much.

_But what about Jasper?_

That made me cry even harder than before.

Jasper… _Jasper…._

I love Jasper.

But I can't deny it, I still love Edward.

What do I do?

I felt so wretched. No matter which angle you see it from, someone will end up hurt.

Jasper was like a breath of fresh air and I really am in love with him and his patience and how easy it was to be with him. I literally started anew with him. I felt so good with Jasper. Even without his powers. I loved him so much. And most importantly, he was with me when I needed someone the most, when I was in hell he pulled me up. He didn't just pull me up. He gave me heaven. I can't hurt him. Not after everything he's done for me.

But Edward… _my Edward. _He left because of his selflessness. He left for me. That was how intense his love for me was. And now he's back to set things right. I love him. I love Edward. I love everything about him. But if I chose Jasper… I can't hurt Edward as well. Even if I had hell when he left, even after hurting me, that hell hole of pain was a realization of how my life was without him. _Hell. _But I can't hurt him not when he was so self-denying just to save my pathetic humanity. And I know that he doesn't know about Jasper and me. And I cried even harder. He would feel so betrayed.

_But what he did, his decision, the hurt you felt was just as bad no matter how noble his intentions were. He said he loved you but he won't let you be with him for eternity. And it's not my fault that I have moved on… it was what he wanted._

I sobbed heavy painful sobs. This was too much to bear. They are both so good to me and yes, they both had flaws but doesn't anybody? I didn't deserve either of them. I wanted to just die right now. I really don't know what to do. Edward was here begging me to take him back… and Jasper was on his way…

Then as my body rocked with my sobs, Edward pulled out of the embrace with worry and confusion on his glorious face, his icy hands wiped my hot tears and he caressed my cheek like he used to. I couldn't look at him.

"Please look at me. Don't cry, I'm here now and I'm truly sorry, but I'm here… I won't leave ever again…"

Then I felt him tilt my chin up and I had no choice but look at him, my eyes painful and blurred with my tears.

And this brought out the water works even more.

Then… then _it happened._

He leaned down and kissed me.

Edward was kissing me.

And this kiss was not the guarded kisses he gave me. He was giving me the sought after kisses I craved when we were together… the kisses he was too careful to give. He was giving in._ he was giving in._

Tears still kept running from my eyes and he didn't stop. I just stood there crying, petrified. I honestly didn't know if I was going to kiss him back or push him away. It was fifty-fifty. I was on a tightrope with the thinnest wire below my feet with no net to catch me. Whatever I did, I would fall, and I would lose.

I would also win… but at what price? The loss of another? I can't lose either one. But I can't keep them both. Can't I just go and leave them? Surely they would find others better suited for them than me. I'm so confused and upset.

What do I do?

_What do I do??_

Then, Edward stiffened, stopped kissing me and snapped his head towards the direction of the window. I felt a movement as well and a new realization dawned on me.

I tried to look over Edward's shoulder, I tiptoed against his tall frame then my eyes widened in mortification, my mouth snapping open… I froze momentarily and my senses returned to me.

_Oh no! Oh no, no, no… This can't be happening! This can't be – _

Without thinking, I pushed past Edward's shocked knowing form and darted towards the window, my heart racing… I cried out,

"_Jasper!"_

* * *

**AN: This is the hardest chapter I have ever written so far. Expect more tears though in the following chapters.**

**I hoped you like reading the same scene in three point-of-views. They weren't easy to do, mind you. I wanted all of you to know how each were feeling. The next chapter will be in the third person because this isn't a story for just one character anymore. It's a story about the three of them.**

**POLL TALLY: You people voted, and the result is….drum roll please… no other than Jasper Hale by a small margin by the way. But I'm going to put up **_**another poll **_**when a decision is ready to be made to be fair for Edward who just arrived and wants ****another shot.**** I'll let you know when it's up.**

**Thank you, thank you very, very much for reading my story. I love all the feedbacks you give me. They are very much appreciated and very much helpful in making this story alive.**

_**Can't stand the suspense? **_** Then if I get a lot of love, I will update **_**mi ultimo **_**fast. I know by now you believe me when I say I update fast if I get reviews. Again, I'm not greedy, I just write better with feedback.**

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**


	13. Chapter 13: Three

_Then, Edward stiffened, stopped kissing me and snapped his head towards the direction of the window. I felt a movement as well and a new realization dawned on me._

_I tried to look over Edward's shoulder, I tiptoed against his tall frame then my eyes widened in mortification, my mouth snapping open… I froze momentarily and my senses returned to me. _

_Oh no! Oh no, no, no… This can't be happening! This can't be – _

_Without thinking, I pushed past Edward's shocked knowing form and darted towards the window, my heart racing… I cried out,_

"_Jasper!"_

_**-Bella**_

* * *

**Chapter 13: THREE**

Everyone was shocked upon seeing Jasper fleeing. Bella, who had called Jasper's name, now stared out the empty yard outside the window then she collapsed into the floor, buried her face in her hands and cried her shattering heart out.

Edward, meanwhile, was still petrified, looking more and more like a hard, stiff, statue with shock, hurt and knowledge of painful truth sculpted permanently on his face and the way he contoured his body.

Jasper, with his insides twisting and writhing, ran away with his eyes closed. Wanting to escape, feeling smaller and smaller and dying slowly… sinking into a walking form of despair.

_Now Jasper saw Edward kiss me and probably took it the wrong way… _Bella thought as she continued sobbing. _He left me, like he said he would should Edward come back. He said that he would be willing to slide out into the back door and let me be with Edward. Jasper's gone and immediately, a hole started forming on my being. He said that it was okay for me to make a mistake with him. So was that was this was? No. I can't really tell if it is. I don't even know if I'm going back to Edward. But one thing I'm dead sure of was that Jasper was never just a distraction for me. He was everything. He is everything. But I still have feelings left for Edward… Oh god…_

_Jasper? _Edward's mind was racing as well. _Bella and… and Jasper?_ _How? Why? I don't know how this could possibly happen but it was evident that they were together. From the way that Bella smelled… she smelled like him. Her whole room had traces of his scent. And it was him that Bella was expecting to return. How long has this gone? How far have they gone? _Edward blinked then his face contorted to that of hurt and betrayal. He was feeling rage yet battling for understanding.

_Jasper! He knew what I felt! He knew my reasons! Why in the world was he here with Bella? I'm furious! It's true I never blamed him for my decision. What he did only made me realize how much of a danger we _

_are to Bella. But knowing that Jasper was here all this time… what if he lost control and killed Bella? But this was worse… he fell in love with Bella. I can see it. I heard the hurt he felt. I heard every thought he had when he ran away. And looking at Bella… _Edward frowned and had a tortured expression as he looked at Bella. _She loves him. As much as it pains me, I know that I came at a wrong time. I came too late. But Jasper? Jasper should've known better to… but maybe he just came out of guilt to check then didn't expect to fall for Bella? This does sound likely. But Jasper and Bella? This is too painful. Judging from Jasper's reaction to my kissing Bella, he was willing to step down… I feel so bad for my brother and very grateful for what he was willing to do… maybe I should be the one to step down…_

_This was after all a consequence of my rash decision. I had to face this… that was the right thing to do… I knew that he and Alice were over but I didn't expect this to happen… and I don't want to lose Bella… not after going through all the hell without her… not after realizing how I can't live without her…_

_And Bella… why did she fall for Jasper? Not that Jasper isn't a good guy. Hell, he's the best. But couldn't she wait for me... _Edward shook his head. _No. it's not her fault. She needed someone and Jasper was there for her. Now what do I do?_

Edward slowly and painfully walked over to Bella, kneeled down to her and hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder, trying his best to keep a straight face. Bella froze then also hesitantly looked at Edward with a tortured face of her own.

"E-Edward… I…I…" she choked and Edward's body twitched. He finally spoke… ever so carefully at Bella, his hands moving towards her face.

"It… its okay… you don't have to explain… I understand… you and Jasper…" Edward said, ache evident on his steady voice.

Bella scrunched up her face, "No, it's not okay. Nothing's okay. You're here… but he was just here as well… and I… I'm such a bad person…"

"I… I don't know how this happened Bella… but…" Edward rose.

Bella looked up at him, waiting for Edward to continue. But Edward positioned himself on the window, his eyes focused outside, not on Bella then he said, "I'll go get Jasper."

Bella just stayed there, panic quelling in her, unable to do anything.

…

Jasper was still running… not very smoothly at that. _I have to leave. They belong together. Edward and Bella. Bella and Edward… not Bella and Jasper… _Jasper kept his eyes shut tight, relying on his instincts. He was in grave agony.

_I knew that this would happen eventually. I knew it. But Bella said she loved me and felt that. I felt her love me. But Edward… _Jasper thought sadly.

Then he felt someone following him. There were only two who could ever outrun him. That was Alice and… and… Edward. This was certainly Edward who was gaining on him.

_Shit. What does he want? Wasn't he with Bella already? Was he going to invite me to their wedding or something? I can't do this right now. _Jasper thought, fuming and annoyed. He decided to speed up and send loads and loads of different emotions Edward's way to distract him but it was in vain. _Damn, he must've heard my plan. Damn mind reading. _Jasper thought irked to maximum potential.

Then Edward managed to grab Jasper by the shoulder, never mind that Jasper was taller and bigger than him.

Jasper shrugged Edward's hand away, crossed his arms on his chest and glared down at Edward who had a mixture of hurt, betrayal and fury on his face.

_What the hell do you want with me now? Shouldn't you go back to Bella? Why is she alone right now? Aren't you happy enough yet? _Jasper spat in his thoughts. He wasn't in the mood for speaking but Edward could hear it all anyways.

Edward, his face straight, spoke in the calmest voice he could muster, "Jasper, I don't know what the hell happened but you and I need to talk." He said firmly.

Jasper arched an eyebrow. "What for? There is nothing more to say."

Edward growled, "I actually ran here to go get you back. The three of us need to do some talking."

Jasper snarled, "The thing is, _Edward. _I came back to check on Bella because I felt guilty. And I wanted to make sure she's okay, got that? Now you're back. There's nothing left here for me to do. Go to her. She's been waiting for you."

_Though Jasper said that firmly with no hesitation, I could tell he was holding back. _Edward thought. Edward studied Jasper for a moment but got nothing new on his mind.

Jasper grew even more irritated. "I need to go. My debt has been repaid. I'm done. So if you have nothing more to say, I have to go now."

"Stop holding back. Do you think I'm stupid, Jasper? I can tell you're all over Bella. I _know _that there's something going on between you two. Do you honestly believe that I would take in all the guilty crap you said?" Edward barked, his brow furrowing, his fists clenching tighter and tighter.

Jasper rolled his eyes out of rage and impatience and said back, "So what if there is? Does it matter? You two belong together. I was just a stand in. and now my work's over. So can I _please _go _now_?"

"Did you _see_ Bella reach out for you? Did you _hear_ her call your name when you dashed out? For an empathic being, you're completely obtuse!" Edward whipped, his voice like steel coated with pain and denial.

Jasper's eyes widened but he stood still.

"She wants _you." _Edward added, but there were undertones to his voice.

"But I _saw _you two kiss! I saw both of you in each others arms! Don't tell me that that was just _nothing _but a friendly hello." Jasper yelled exasperatedly after finding his voice.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and forefinger and squeezed his eyes shut. "Jasper… what you saw was me kissing Bella." then he opened his eyes and sighed in defeat.

"She never kissed me back." He said slowly.

Jasper was taken by surprise. _Is that true? But wasn't Edward who she was waiting for? Surely she wouldn't choose me over him. That wasn't possible. _Jasper thought.

"Edward. She is just taken by surprise and confused. Give her time. She heals. Not that fast but she heals. She has always forgiven what you did to her as she did for what I did." Jasper said calmly.

"But I'm telling you Edward, right now as a warning that you should prove that you love her or I'll personally cull you if you ever hurt her again." Jasper threatened.

"I would never, ever hurt her ever again!" Edward growled.

"But you did and you still have to own up to that, Edward. You should've seen Bella when you left her. She was broken and stepped on. Even as she tried to live normally and obediently, she was like an empty shell. When you left, Edward, she died. You killed her. She would've given up everything for you in a heartbeat, wait no, she would've given up her heartbeat for you! But you had to go and be Sir Galahad the Pure and do the right thing when your heart was telling you something else. I'm not blind from your feelings, Edward. I know you wanted her to be with you for eternity.

Now thinking about all these makes me think twice of handing her back to you just like that."

Edward looked at Jasper with eyes so wide and fury in his eyes. He grabbed Jasper by the collar, punched him.

The impact was like thunder. Jasper fell to the floor and wiped his jaw. Then bared his teeth at Edward who was looming over him… _"What the hell?"_

"What do you mean what the hell? I know that I made a mistake, Jasper. I know that very well. But don't think for one second that though I am grateful that you made her whole again, that I am perfectly okay with you being with her!" Edward yelled.

Jasper flared up, stood and sent Edward stumbling backwards with a punch of his own.

"What? Because I'm not good enough for her, is that it? That you're the only one who can love her? Edward, you had her at her best, I saw her through her worst and now that she's finally becoming her best again, you suddenly show up as well. You experienced her love whole… you've been with her whole…. While I… I was stuck with the broken pieces you left. I was there picking her up. I took her despite all that. I'm not saying that she's damaged goods I'm saying that you're lucky that when she said she loved you she was whole. Not like me. She said she loved me but I know that she would carry the scar of you forever. She could never love me as whole as she did with you but I still stayed with her."Jasper shouted at him, he was poised for landing another one.

"So you're saying I blew it, is that it?"

"Yeah. You had a good thing going on but there you go and leave it. You should be more honest with what you feel before it's too late. Sucks to be you."

Edward creaked his head and wiped his nose and sunk in a fighting stance.

"But you could've killed her at any second! Or have you forgotten the 'incident' on her birthday?"

Jasper moved in for another punch but Edward blocked it with his palm and faced Jasper menacingly. Jasper's eyes flared and his aura was that of hurt and blind rage.

"So you did blame me for leaving! Didn't you hear what I said before? I was guilty and repentant. I wanted to repay your forgiveness that you said you've given me by making sure Bella was all right." Jasper said while pushing his fist with all his might against Edward's palms his eyes never leaving contact with Edward's. If looks could kill, both would've exploded right then and there.

Edward, straining to keep Jasper's fist at bay, replied, "I didn't blame you but you still could've killed her all the same. What if she trips or fall then bled? It took only a mere paper cut to send you into a killing spree!"

Jasper managed to pull out his hand and backed away, still on guard. "That was before. Now, I can manage myself around her. She taught me the control I needed. And I love her so much to even think of living without her just to satisfy my thirst. But you… you could've easily killed her as well. The way her blood calls to you is greater than it does for mine. What if you fall out of your control? If danger is the issue here, we both forever will be a threat to her existence unless she is changed."

Edward whirled a hook at Jasper but this time, it was Jasper who had the upper hand. He blocked and held on to Edward's arm.

"So you promised to change her, is that it?" Edward said fiercely with disgust.

"I want to give her anything she desires." Jasper answered icily.

"And I don't?"

"Apparently, isn't that why you left?"

"I would eventually cave in, Jasper. You know that. But what I didn't count on was coming back and finding out that my _brother, _one of the people I would trust with my existence, go and revel in what love Bella has a lot to give."

Jasper felt the hurt and betrayal come from Edward. He felt guilty.

"Look Edward. I'm sorry. I'm telling you the truth that my intention was just that of making sure she was okay. I never meant to fall in love with her, but it happened…okay? But I'm backing down. I'm making things easier. You win. I'm sorry if you felt that I betrayed you and I'm saying it again, I'm sorry for almost biting Bella back then. Then maybe none of this would happen."

Edward relaxed. He could read through Jasper's mind that he was hurting. But he was sincere with backing down. Now he felt guilty.

"Jasper, I'm deeply indebted to you that you made Bella feel better. I could see the change in her. She's different. She's better. And I think that you're wrong. Because you stuck with her through her darkest time, you started filling out the hole inside of her. You picked up the broken pieces of her. When I left, I left her bleeding and you stitched her up. You're part of her now forever. When Bella says "I love you" she always means it. That's how she is. She loves you."

"But she loves you too." Jasper protested.

"And… I know that anyone can love more than one person in their life…" Edward said slowly.

"But she can't keep us both not even if we wanted too. It would be too painful for all of us. She can only have one of us..." jasper finished.

"And I'm willing to be the person to go." He added in a whisper.

Edward shook his head.

"I'm willing to go."

"Then what do we do now? We both can't leave." Jasper stated.

"But knowing Bella, she would feel the most guilt here. I don't want that." Edward started.

"I know. But she has to make a choice now… no matter how hard this is…" jasper cringed.

Edward frowned.

"Edward, I'm sorry. Truly sorry for getting in the middle of things more than once between you." jasper apologized.

"No, Jasper I'm sorry that you had to go through all this, blaming yourself and all. We both made mistakes." Edward said.

"So it's up to Bella now…" Jasper trailed of.

Edward nodded. "Whatever happens, I'll accept it. At least… if she chose you… then at least I can trust that you would take care of her, hell, maybe you take care of her better than myself. Maybe you're the ones really meant to be."

"No. I'm not you, Edward. I can never replace you in her heart."

"Maybe not, because once someone is marked in a heart, it lasts there. What will happen is that another marking, more prominent or less, etcetera will carve its way there."

Jasper sighed.

"I don't blame you for falling in love with Bella, Jasper. Only a fool would be stupid enough to give up a good thing. Trust me. _I know the feeling._" Edward sighed.

Jasper smirked. "Let's go back. It's not in our hands anymore."

Edward nodded and they sped off to Bella's place.

…

Bella finally stopped sobbing and laid down on the floor. _First Edward left, then Jasper, then Edward again… _she mused then closed her eyes tiredly.

Then she heard thunder…then another one.

Bella cringed and twisted. She knew that sound wasn't just a simple thunder. No, she knew that was the sound of two vampires knocking into each other. _They're fighting. _Bella fought the urge to cry again.

_What kind of creature was I? How could I break up a family? I'm the lowest creature in the whole world. Now both of them are fighting and then they would realize that I wasn't worth all that and they would be family again and leave me. It never made sense for either of them to love me. I didn't deserve any of them. I don't deserve anyone._

_And when they leave me…_

_I'll be faced with two giant gaping holes on my chest._

_I just wanted to die right now._

Then Bella heard two thuds near her. Edward and Jasper were back.

Bella opened her eyes and sat down, looking at the floor.

"Why are you two back? Are you here to say good-bye? If you are then please don't. Just… just go. I understand. I promise. Go on. Don't feel guilty or anything, I'll be okay. Just go and be a family again." Bella said firmly but in a cracked voice barely above a whisper. Her throat hurt and her head throbbed.

Then two icy fingers touched her knees and she looked up to see two pairs of eyes. One of fading gold, one of pitch black.

"We're not here to say good-bye, Bella." Edward started.

"We're here for you. We won't leave you… at least… one of us won't…" Jasper finished.

Bella knew where this was going. "So you're here telling me that I have to choose?"

The two immortals nodded heavily.

Bella stood up and raged with whatever was left of her voice.

"I refuse to do so. You can both just leave, _leave this pathetic human being alone now._ I'm too hurt and too tired to go through any more of this. Please leave now. It never made sense for anyone of you to love me. Go and find others better suited for each of you. It sure isn't me. All I've done is break up a family. And If I did choose, someone will get hurt. No one wins but if you leave now then the hurt would be less and everyone can just… just move on."

"Bella, you're not breaking up a family." Jasper pleaded.

"Don't blame yourself for anything." Edward said softly.

"Whoever you choose, one would have to deal. Me and Edward already talked about it."

"Yes. And I don't blame you for choosing Jasper. He's been with you throughout your pain. He made you feel a whole lot better and he really loves you. I'm okay with that.

"And I don't blame you if you come back to Edward. He understands and learned what he can't live without. Edward loves you."

"I can't lie, I love both of you… both _in that way._ And I can't possibly choose between you two… both of you have given me different things…. Different feelings…. But I also know I can't have you both… but maybe I can try and live without you both and let both of you go… so let me go…. And let's all move on…" Bella pleaded.

"We can't do that. Just… just choose Bella… please…" Jasper begged.

"I can't, I really can't." Bella kept shaking her head.

"Bella, we want you to be happy at all cost. We both want to be the ones making you happy. So you can have any one of us… it's you who have been hurt the most in all these… the loss of one is the price to pay for all the grief you had to endure… just please… please…. Choose… and let's get this over with…"

Bella remained silent.

"How about… you spend a day with Edward… see where things go… and if you decide you want to start fresh with him… then you can…" Jasper said thoughtful.

Bella was about to protest but Jasper cut her off.

"But if you still want me even after that… then all you need to do is say." Jasper finished.

"That's a reasonable request, Bella." Edward agreed. "But after that day with me, you have to speak to Jasper no matter what happens and tell him your decision whether you go with me or back to him."

Bella thought about it for a while then sighed in defeat, nodding once.

"We'll both stay on guard tonight but Edward will be the only one you'll see in the morning. Charlie won't be back until tomorrow night, right? You won't have to worry about that issue right now at least." Jasper commented.

"So, now sleep. Bella. And rest. We've all been through so much tonight." Edward added.

Bella stared at them for a while then made her way wordlessly on her bed, pulled the covers around her and shut her eyes to the world. Wishing that everything was all a dream. Or at least provide a moment's refuge from the heavy weight placed on her shoulders.

And the two immortals sat by the window and watched her sleep… both feeling anxious of the choice Bella was eventually going to make.

* * *

**AN: isn't it just sad that Edward and Jasper are both great guys? Makes choosing one hell of a task. I'd hate to be in Bella's shoes right now. I will have a poll up for the final decision after Bella's day with Edward. Choose well. It's not really Bella's fault that she had two guys fall for her. Hey, if one thing, the vamps were the ones dazzling her and made her gravitate to their world where humans were… lunch. So don't have any ideas of bashing Bella, okay? Bella's very nice and sweet, willing to give up on her humanity, her everything for both of them. So there.**

**So, any rants and raves? Let's hear it! We're nearing the end, so I need a lot of input. Help me give this story the best conclusion by telling me what you feel. Again, this chapter is in the third person pov, in case you're confused.**

**Tragic much? This is kind of like the dilemma Reese Witherspoon faced in Sweet Home Alabama if you watched that film. She had to choose between two good, perfect guys. No one was an ass. Like in this story. That's why choosing is hard and why I've been reading a lot of fanfics about Edward being a jerk so that Jasper could enter the scene smoothly and forgivingly but I can't do that to Edward. I want to portray Edward just the way he is in the novel itself, loving, gentlemanly and selfless. (Not too mention, gorgeous!). So you won't read anyone being a jerk in this story. **

**So anyone up for some music? Bring on, "Torn between two lovers…" hehe. Cheesy much. Yech.**

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**


	14. Chapter 14: Final Plea

**Dear readers,**

**I'm sorry but the next update would be most likely to be on Friday or Saturday morning. My sister is hogging the laptop and my blockmates are hogging me for numerous reports wherein I am the leader. So, until then, send me some comments/reviews and vote on the poll. Thanks**

**Margaux**

* * *

"_We'll both stay on guard tonight but Edward will be the only one you'll see in the morning. Charlie won't be back until tomorrow night, right? You won't have to worry about that issue right now at least." Jasper commented._

"_So, now sleep. Bella. And rest. We've all been through so much tonight." Edward added._

_Bella stared at them for a while then made her way wordlessly on her bed, pulled the covers around her and shut her eyes to the world. Wishing that everything was all a dream. Or at least provide a moment's refuge from the heavy weight placed on her shoulders._

_And the two immortals sat by the window and watched her sleep… both feeling anxious of the choice Bella was eventually going to make._

* * *

**Chapter 14: Final Plea**

**EPOV:**

This morning after I made Bella eat breakfast, I took her to my meadow. We were sitting there in the middle of the field and Bella was looking down, playing with some of the wildflowers… pulling out the petals… silent… not smiling… I could tell it was all hard for her. Very hard. but I was going to make this day count. It might be the last chance I could get to be alone with her… like this…

_A strangled smile fell from your face_

_It kills me that I hurt you this way_

_The worst part is that I didn't even know_

_Now there's a million reasons for you to go_

_But if you can find a reason to stay_

When I came back, all I focused on was winning her back. I didn't know it would be this difficult. Now she had more reasons not to take me back.

_I'll do whatever it takes_

_To turn this around_

_I know what's at stake_

_I know that I've let you down_

I touched Bella's face and made her look at me. "Bella, I know what I've become without you and that is _nothing. _I was nothing without you. I know I've let you down by leaving you, I should've given you what you wanted. But you have to understand why I did what I did. It was all for you."

"I understand Edward, and I forgive you. I have already forgiven you a long time ago." She said softly, touching my hand.

_And if you give me a chance_

_Believe that I can change_

_I'll keep us together_

_Whatever it takes_

I took her hand and kissed it. "Bella, I know it's a lot to ask but please… take me back… I'll do whatever it takes to keep us together as long as you want me to. I'm willing to change. I'll do anything…I love you Bella." I pleaded.

She looked at me with sad loving eyes but said nothing. I took her in for an embrace.

_She said if we're gonna make this work_

_You gotta let me inside even though it hurts_

_Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see_

_She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be_

_You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me_

Days before I left, Bella would always try and convince me to change her but I always denied her that. she told me that if I really wanted her to be with me forever then that would eventually happen… that it needs to happen… and she made great effort to make me admit that I wanted to change her… that I wanted her to be with me for eternity… I never gave her that as well. so my denial of what I want would eventually drive her to leave me as well. but now I knew better.

_I'll do whatever it takes_

_To turn this around_

_I know what's at stake_

_I know that I've let you down_

_And if you give me a chance_

_And give me a break_

_I'll keep us together_

"Bella, I'll do whatever it takes. I can't imagine a life without you. I'll do anything as long as you give me a chance…"

_I know you deserve much better_

I knew she deserved better than me. I was a fool for leaving her. I was a bigger fool for lying to her. Maybe she did deserve to be with someone else… maybe Jasper was better than me…. but I have to try and fight for Bella… I have to…

_Remember the time I told you the way that I felt_

_And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself_

"Please remember that even before I left I told you how I felt about you. I still feel the same. If not, my love for you has intensified if that were even possible. I'm lost without you, Bella. The world is an empty place without you…"

_Let's hold onto each other above everything else_

_Start over, start over_

"We can start over, Bella, if you let me and I'll do anything. Nothing can ever separate us. I know I have to make up for all the hurt that I gave you, and I'm truly sorry for that but with your forgiving nature I know we can make it through. Together we can go through anything… I believe in that…"

Bella started crying. "I still love you Edward and I believe that we can do that but I… I still can't decide… when you left, you took half of me with you… i was a mess… a horrible mess… I don't think I can live without you as well but Edward, even with half of me missing… Jasper was there… Jasper took me… I can't just leave him in the air like that after everything he's done for me…. I just can't…"

I swallowed my pride, "I know." I admitted. "And I'm mad that it happened. You only did what I intended you to do and that is to move on. And I'm glad that if you're able to move on, at least it's with him. And I'm fine with that."

"But I don't want you to go as well…" she cried.

"I don't need an answer right now. Just let me hold you, kiss you, feel you right now. we both don't know if this would be the last time we have for each other. We'll all know when you're ready to choose."

She nodded.

I tilted her head closer to me until only an inch was left between our lips. I looked into her eyes to see if she was fine with this and she gave a soft nod and that was all I needed.

I kissed her like I would never kiss her again. And she kissed me back, her hands on my hair. I held her tighter, my hands rubbing her shoulder, her back, her hair then back up her neck and her face.

I wanted more days like these with her. I wanted to be the one she sees the moment she wakes up every morning. And I wanted to be by her side for all eternity when the time has come that she wakes up into one of us. I wanted her. I needed her. I love her and I know she still loves me. and I was going to hold on to that hope.

It was all I had. Whatever it takes.

_I'll do whatever it takes_

_To turn this around_

_I know what's at stake_

_I know that I've let you down_

_And if you give me a chance_

_Believe that I can change_

_I'll keep us together_

_Whatever it takes_

* * *

**JPOV:**

I was alone with Bella on her porch. When Edward dropped her off here, they were both overwhelmed with happiness it hurt. Bella was choosing Edward. I could feel that. yes, there was still doubt in Bella's mind but face it, this was Edward I was up against. Edward is the perfect choice. He already stole her heart from the beginning, whose to say he hasn't claimed it back right now?

I know I'm going down this battle. But I'm not giving up without a fight. That tiny seed of doubt on her mind was enough for me to keep holding on.

_If I don't say this now I will surely break  
As I'm leaving the one I want to take  
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait  
My heart has started to separate  
_

"Bella?" I said softly. She looked up at me and forced a smile. She was feeling guilty and sad.

"Yes, Jasper?" she asked in that cute voice of hers.

I took a deep breath and looked at her and made her feel all the love I felt. I had to say what I needed to say right now. this was my last chance.

"Bella… choose me…"

She blinked then I saw tears forming in her eyes.

"Pick me… love me… let me be the one to be the one who takes care of you…"

Her brow creased and her mouth drooped down.

_Oh, oh,  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhh  
Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you  
_

"I know it's a long shot, I know that you and Edward have a longer history than we do, I know I'm not as gentle as he is, as selfless as he is but what I have laid in front of you is my love…"

_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go  
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know_

Was she going to be another notch on my heartache tally? She was the only one who made me feel so right and complete. She was the only one.

_When I'm losing my control, the city spins around  
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down_

She taught me how to control myself. She allowed me to be part of her. She, even in her time of desperate need, offered her help and comfort in me when I needed it too. I then took her into my arms and held her tight.

"Bella… choose me… even if I don't seem like the right choice… please choose me… I love you… don't you love me too?"

_If ever there was a doubt  
My love she leans into me  
This most assuredly counts  
She says most assuredly_

She held me close and I felt hot tears roll down her cheek. "Of course I love you Jasper… I really do… you know that…" she sobbed.

Though she said that, I could feel a 'but' following it so I went ahead and initiated it, "But…" I said.

She clung to me tighter. "But I still… I still can't… it's just that when I'm with you Jasper, it's like I'm a completely different person but…but when I'm with Edward… it's also different… it's also special like how we are together too… I'm so torn…"

___Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you  
After You  
Oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Ohhhhh_

I rubbed her back and sent calming waves towards her though my body rocked with pain. I loved this girl so much. I never thought I would find anyone else who could make me feel this way.

___It's always have and never hold  
You've begun to feel like home  
What's mine is yours to leave or take  
What's mine is yours to make your own_

"But Bella… whatever happens… whoever you choose…. I want you to know that all I have, I'll give to you. I'm here for you even if you choose otherwise. You can always call on me for anything. I love you and all I want is for you to be happy. I'm flawed in many ways but you have taken all of me. I love you, I love you, I love you." I said as my eyes were shut and I stroked her hair. I can't even have the heart to kiss her even If I wanted to so badly.

I considered it for a while. On one hand, if I kiss her now, I was the most recent she would remember kissing and I would stay longer on her mind… and she might pick me… but I remembered Edward. He had just come back to see if he could fill the hole in his heart as well only to find a battle for his missing piece already inside of someone else… and not just anyone…. But he found Bella's other half in me…

Now we both held pieces of Bella in our hearts. We were both part of her.

Now she has to choose.

It's time.

* * *

_**AN: To start with, In Edward's plea, the song is Whatever it takes by Lifehouse and in Jasper's plea, it was Look after you by The Fray.**_

_**FINAL POLL IS UP! It's time to decide. Cast your final votes, people. TeamJasper or TeamEdward or no one at all. Your votes matter a lot in the outcome. Good luck with choosing. I know it's tough. But someone's got too.**_

_**P.S. I used a line from Grey's Anatomy. It just fits well. "Choose me, pick me, love me..." Meredith Gray said that to Dr. McDreamy when he had to choose between her and his ex-wife, Addison. **__  
_

_**KFYI,**_

_**Margaux**_


	15. Chapter 15: Close Call or Closed Call

_I considered it for a while. On one hand, if I kiss her now, I was the most recent she would remember kissing and I would stay longer on her mind… and she might pick me… but I remembered Edward. He had just come back to see if he could fill the hole in his heart as well only to find a battle for his missing piece already inside of someone else… and not just anyone…. But he found Bella's other half in me…_

_Now we both held pieces of Bella in our hearts. We were both part of her. _

_Now she has to choose._

_It's time._

_-Jasper_

* * *

**Chapter 15: Close Call or Closed Call**

**BPOV**

I thought for sure that I was going to finally make a decision after spending a day with Edward. I didn't realize how much I missed him so. I was so confident and so guilty because I was going to break the news. But then…

Then I saw Jasper again and doubts and sadness came crashing down like cannon balls. Now here I was in the middle of my living room, facing two anxious immortals… both too good for me…. and Charlie was arriving any minute now.

I really can't decide. How am I supposed to? I didn't want to do this. It's not even because I felt uncomfortable, it's because my decision is going to end up hurting any one of them.

I didn't want to choose but that doesn't mean that I want them both with me. No. I just wanted both of them to be happy. What were they doing with a human like me?

It didn't make sense.

I looked up at their expectant faces that were masked with each of their own trademark smiles that I have grown to love… Edward's crooked smile, looking like a Greek God… and Jasper's half-smile that he only gave to me, looking like an archangel… I felt like crying again, they were smiling at me in encouragement. I didn't deserve them they should be with others better suited for them.

I was about to start with saying something when the phone rang.

I felt a rush of momentary relief and I felt Jasper twitch and Edward blink. Jasper must've felt it and Edward, who studied my every move, must've figured that out. I was going to let it ring but they both sighed and nodded at me to take the call.

"Um… I better get that… sorry…" I murmured. They both nodded and I answered the phone.

"Bella?" came from a familiar friendly voice. I was surprised at why this person called but happy at the same time. This person was great with timing.

"Hi Angela!" I said tried to sound cheerful. Angela was my only human friend, well Jacob was too until he started becoming MIA for the past weeks. I've been down to La Push with Charlie once in a while and he was always the positive kid who was suddenly on a growth spurt but during the last time I came to their house, he was hanging out a lot with Sam's group who I think was the one who found me in the forest where I… you know…

"Oh, hi Bella! I was wondering if you could come with me to the beach for a while, like an hour. I know it's late but I really need to collect some specimens for Biology and they supposedly only emerge at this time. Ben can only drop me off and fetch me because he has errands to run and I don't really want to stay in the beach alone. Jess and Lauren won't go with me. Is it okay?"

I glanced at Jasper and Edward and they were having a silent conversation with the occasional vampire low hisses.

"I… don't think now's the best time, I'm sorry Angela."I said apologetically.

"Oh my gosh!" Angela exclaimed, "I'm so sorry. Is anything okay? Gosh, I'm really sorry."

"No, no! It's ok, I'm the one who's sorry."

"Bella, you don't seem ok. I can feel it. Do you want to talk about it?" she offered.

I considered for a while. I did want to talk. I wanted someone to help me out. But I can't possibly talk to her like this… it's not because I have two vampires waiting for an answer, no. it was because I was shy to talk about this.

"Um… well…I don't know."

"I see. Well, I guess I'm leaving after five minutes, brave it up for Bio! So in case you change your mind, give me a ring." I felt a pang of guilt and relief again. I really liked Angela, she doesn't pry or anything.

"Thanks, Angela. I'll let you know, if ever." I said with appreciation.

"No problem. Bye then!"

"Bye!"

I put the phone down and faced the two.

Then Edward spoke, "Bella, me and Jasper think you should go with Angela."

I blinked, surprised. "Why? I'm not really in the mood for friends…"

Jasper blinked, "Are you sure?"

Yikes! He caught me. I didn't say anything.

"Listen Bella, we know you're not ready yet so why don't you go spend some time with unbiased friends?" Jasper explained.

"But we will drop you off just near the treaty line and you can come call us when you want to go home. We'll just stay at our house for awhile." Edward added.

I sighed then blinked. "Okay, thanks guys. I'm just going to give Angela a call."

So I called her and she was pleased. So we went immediately towards the beach. When we reached the treaty line, something upset them. Why were they so repulsive against the Quileute's and vice-versa? I shrugged the thought off and stopped the truck. Yes, they let me drive.

They both hopped off the truck in that graceful manner as usual and said good-bye to me.

"Well, see you later, Bells." Jasper said.

"We'll drop by your house and Jasper will tell Charlie where you are." Edward added. Right. We agreed that for Charlie's sake, we weren't going to mention Edward yet… at least until I make a decision. Then we'll know.

I nodded at them and gave a small smile. "Ok."

Then I watched them run and vanish.

I sighed then proceeded to the beach.

* * *

Angela and I were threading the shallow waters collecting some kind of slug creatures. Yech.

We worked silently but being Angela, she noticed my disposition.

"Hey…" she said softly. I glanced at her.

"Are you okay, Bella? You seem pretty upset when I called a while ago. You know you can talk to me." she offered kindly and I was close to tears at her care. So I decided to tell her everything. I could trust her. I just won't mention key terms like, 'immortal', or 'vampire', or 'bite' and stuff.

I blushed, "Well… you've seen how I was when Edward left right?"

She nodded, "Yes. That wasn't exactly your finest hour."

I nodded once sadly, "And you've seen me with Jasper right?" I blushed again. Angela was the only one who didn't judge me or made all the gossip about me and Jasper. She accepted it. She understood me. Now if only Angela was a witch or something then maybe I can tell her everything. That's how good a friend she was.

Angel smiled, "Of course. You had a new glow around you and you started smiling more."

"So I had a glow?"

"Yes."

"But what about with…"

She sighed, "You did have a glow with Edward as well. But Bella, that glow was different with that of Jasper. But why the sudden need for comparison?"

I took a deep breath and averted my gaze.

"Edward's back…" I whispered.

I could tell even without looking at her that she was shocked and speechless. But Angela bounced back fast.

"So that's why… well…. do you want him back?" she asked.

"Part of me does and part of me doesn't because…"

"Because of Jasper…" she finished thoughtfully.

"Yeah."

"So Edward knows about you and Jasper, right?"

I nodded.

"And what did they say?"

"They said that they understood my situation and they don't blame me for anything. And now they're making me choose."

"Gee… that's harsh. They're both selfless…"

"They are…" I agreed.

"But aren't they doing anything to make things easier for you?"

I frowned. "They tried. But in the end, even if they said that I can choose anyone…. When I was with them individually… they finally spoke what they truly wanted and that is for me to pick them."

"I see. But didn't Edward leave?" she asked.

"He did but it wasn't for the reason that he gave when he left so that left me thinking." Angela doesn't know why Edward left and she never pried. Bless her.

"Oh, ok. But then Jasper came back and helped you recover…"

"Yes. And you know what's hard, Angela? Edward told me that he would do anything, whatever it takes to keep us together and change. And Jasper… I don't even need to say anything to him and yet he knows what I need and helps me get it. And he even offered his friendship should I choose Edward, I only have to just say."

Angela heard Jasper's song. "That is tough. But Bella, there will always be someone you prefer more. Listen to your heart and get rid of all the guilt. Guilt is only clouding your decision."

I just looked at her, at loss for words. She hit the bull's-eye.

"Let's break it down. They both laid down their cards already right? Then they placed the ball in your court. They said nothing's your fault and though they don't really want to, both of them will gracefully bow out once you have decided so there really is nothing to do but follow your guts and decide."

"You make it sound so simple."

She smiled triumphantly. "Because that's how it should be, Bella. They are both great guys who make mistakes but own up to them. If one of them was bad ass, then choose the good one. But in your case, no one's an ass. Though it seems harder to choose, if you think about it, Bella, it's a win-win situation for you. If you choose this one, his good, but if you choose otherwise, it's also good. You've been with them separately and you know how you are when you're with them separately so you have all the things you need to decide. It's simple as that, Bella."

"But someone will get hurt…" I trailed off.

Angela shook her head, "Yes. That's a given but Bella, no one will really have any regrets here because they both had a chance to be with you for some time. At least all of you had a feel of what is, not what could be. And they're both good-looking guys, I'll give them that, the one you don't pick makes hundreds of hopefuls, well, hopeful again."

I smiled at Angela. What she said did make sense.

"Thanks Angela. I feel a whole lot better now." I said sincerely.

She gave me a hug, "Great! I'm glad you're opening up to me, Bella. You're much more real than some of the other people I know." Then she rolled her eyes and we laughed.

She was right. Guilt was clouding my decision. I should remove all that.

* * *

I decided to visit Jacob before calling Jasper and Edward. Angela and I finished half an hour earlier than planned and Ben picked her up already. So here I was pushing towards Jacob's. I haven't seen him in a while.

I was almost there but I decided not to go anymore because it was getting late so I made my way back towards the treaty line. I'll call them when I'm near.

* * *

_**Third Person POV: (The setting is J and E's living room with updates of B's present situation in some parts. Kind of like a movie where simultaneous events are happening. Just use your imagination. –Margaux)**_

Jasper was sprawled across the large couch in their living room, watching Edward pace back and forth in front of him.

_You should take a chill pill, Edward. She'll call soon. _Jasper thought. He felt Edward's anxiety rising to near dangerous level. _God knows I need one too but if you won't stop pacing I'll have you laughing your guts out so help me. You're driving me insane!_

Edward stopped abruptly and scowled at Jasper then plopped down on the large armchair.

_I can't stand the anxiety anymore. What's taking Bella so long? It's so awkward here. _Edward thought.

Jasper looks at him and sighed. _I know it's awkward, Edward but… let's just wait for Bella's call. She needs all the time she could get, you know that._

Edward sighed. "I know."

_I'll Sing It One Last Time For You  
Then We Really Have To Go  
You've Been The Only Thing That's Right  
In All I've Done_

_Bella… I am quite worried like Edward was right now. Through all the mistakes I did, it was Bella who erased them all. _Jasper thought. _But I told her all that I needed to say. All she had to do… is well… just say…_

_Jasper really feels for Bella. I made a huge mistake myself for leaving her but she forgave me. Oh, what's going to happen now…_Edward thought. _I told her what I needed to say like Jasper did so I'm sure no one will have regrets here. I told her I would do whatever it takes. That's all I need her to hear from me._

(Meanwhile, Bella was approaching the treaty line, ready to make a call. She was still weighing her options. But she felt lighter now from talking to Angela.

_Just a little farther down now. _Bella thought.)

_And I Can Barely Look At You  
But Every Single Time I Do  
I Know We'll Make It Anywhere  
Away From Here  
_

_I don't know if I can look at Bella later. I knew she had made a decision already. If anyone can knock some words of wisdom with her, it was Angela. _Jasper thought.

_I had to agree with Jasper. Angela was a great friend of Bella's and a smart one at that. But I feel Jasper's sentiments as well. I don't think I can look at Bella as well… _Edward thought.

_  
Light Up, Light Up  
As If You Have A Choice  
Even If You Cannot Hear My Voice  
I'll Be Right Beside You, Dear_

(Though Bella can't see Jasper or Edward right now, she could feel their encouragement. She knew that they would respect her decision any other way. She was still harboring some doubt and guilt but she was trying her best to remove them.)

_Don't be afraid to make a decision, Bella. Look into your heart and tell us how you really feel and what you really need and want. _Edward thought, in hopes of trying to send a message to Bella.

_  
Louder, Louder  
And We'll Run For Our Lives  
I Can Hardly Speak, I Understand  
Why You Can't Raise Your Voice To Say  
_

_Though I've said this to Bella countless times to just say what she wants, I understand if she finds it difficult to do that at this time. Bella, just think hard and listen to your mind and heart. Try to say it now so we can all move on and let everything fall into place. _Jasper thought as well.

(_I'm almost there… wait a little longer… _Bella thought with a newfound resolve in her. Her right hand gripping the phone.)

_  
To Think I Might Not See Those Eyes  
Makes It So Hard Not To Cry  
And As We Say Our Long Goodbye  
I Nearly Do  
_

_I know that one of us will have to say good-bye to Bella. That would hurt a lot. Insanely so… But it's going to happen. It's inevitable. _Jasper thought sadly.

Edward looked at Jasper and sighed. _My brother is right. One of us has to leave. All we can do right now is wait..._

_  
Light Up, Light Up  
As If You Have A Choice  
Even If You Cannot Hear My Voice  
I'll Be Right Beside You, Dear  
Louder, Louder  
And We'll Run For Our Lives  
I Can Hardly Speak, I Understand  
Why You Can't Raise Your Voice To Say  
_

(_Oh no, it's really raining hard, I can't see the path very well. But I feel that it's close. Just a little longer. I'm coming. _Bella thought while straining to see the road.)

_  
Slower, Slower  
We Don't Have Time For That  
All I Want's To Find An Easier Way  
To Get Out Of Our Little Heads  
_

_Edward and I would love to give Bella more time because she needed it but that would only prolong the agony for all of us. _Jasper sighed.

_If only there was an easier way. _Edward rubbed is temples.

_  
_(_There it is! I see it! Damn rain. _Bella thought. "Now to make that call…" she said to herself. Bella started to dial.)

_Have Heart My Dear  
We're Bound To Be Afraid  
Even If It's Just For A Few Days  
Making Up For All This Mess_

_What happened here was a mess of some sort and it won't be that easy to clean up but it's possible. Everyone made mistakes here but Bella's decision can help us finally approach this predicament. _Jasper thought, no longer as anxious as he was. He felt Edward fill up with the same resolve as he was. They were ready to face whatever happens next.

But then, someone burst into the house that made Jasper and Edward jump.

"Alice! What are you doing here?" Edward asked with apparent shock.

Jasper just stared at her, feeling all the worry all the panic all the hysteria that the tiny black haired immortal brought with her. And he knew, like Edward, that something was wrong or something was bound to go wrong.

Alice was getting hysterical and she opened her mouth and closed it unable to speak from all the panic. Something huge was upsetting her.

"Alice, relax, what' wrong?" Jasper asked, panic started forming in him, and he felt Edward feel it too.

Then Alice, her eyes wide, her tiny body trembling, waved her hands frantically and shouted something that made everyone in the room turn into a newer shade of white, holding their breaths, their mouth agape and their eyes bulging out in pure terror.

"_It's Bella!"_

* * *

**(Bella)**

Before Bella could press the call button, what she saw in front of her made her petrified with pure unadultered fear that ran down her spine, paled her, and made all the hair on the back of her neck rise.

"Hello, Isabella Marie Swan. Did you miss me?" said a sickeningly sweet voice with musical quality filled with hate, malice and the pregnant joy of _revenge._

Then everything went black for Bella.

_Light Up, Light Up  
As If You Have A Choice  
Even If You Cannot Hear My Voice  
I'll Be Right Beside You, Dear_

* * *

**AN: To start with, the song excerpt here is Run by Snow Patrol.**

**- Again, I'm leaving you hanging. I hate predictability. I'm cruel, I know but I have things planned for this story. Trust me, you'll love it so bear with all the suspense for now. **

**- Don't worry though, Bella **_**will **_**decide. And this story **_**will**_** end in chapter 20, that's a promise. I'll try to update soon, again, sooner if I get reviews. **

**- Oh someone asked me who I love more, Jasper or Edward? I'll answer at the end of the story so it won't be biased.**

**- Take this opportunity to tell me what you want in the remaining chapters. Again, this is set in ****New Moon**** (if you read very well, this is a hint of what's coming next) and VOTE on the poll I put up.**

**- CHALLENGE: To anyone who can guess who stopped Bella from calling, first, I will dedicate the next chapter to him/her. (It's pretty obvious who.)**

**- Another is, to anyone who can guess what's going to happen next correctly, I will dedicate two chapters to him/her.**

**- So until then, don't hate me for the suspense. Just trust me on what I'm doing. You will love it. I guarantee it. Thanks for all the support.**

**-- This chapter is dedicated to ****regan94**** for patiently reviewing every chapter from the beginning without whose initial prodding and occasional 'threats' (hehe), I would never have the gull to take this story seriously and continue so thank her for that. (I love Kryptonite!)**

**P.S. I know that some are also reviewing most of the chapters but regan94 was the first to do every chapter so this goes out to her. I appreciate all of your reviews and value them in the developing process of this story. Thank you!**

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**


	16. Chapter 16: Missing

**Congratulations mf.princess55 for guessing who Bella saw first. **

**But twilightdaydream, you get another chapter dedication for partly getting not only who the voice was but also what's going to happen next, first. This chapter is for both of you. Thanks for reading - Margaux**

* * *

_Before Bella could press the call button, what she saw in front of her made her petrified with pure unadultered fear that ran down her spine, paled her, and made all the hair on the back of her neck rise._

"_Hello, Isabella Marie Swan. Did you miss me?" said a sickeningly sweet voice with musical quality filled with hate, malice and the pregnant joy of revenge._

_Then everything went black for Bella._

* * *

**Chapter 16: Missing**

**Still in Third Person POV so as not to be biased:**

Jasper and Edward froze at what Alice said, terrified beyond belief.

Alice continued, "It's awful, guys. I swear I wasn't keeping tabs on Bella! I was driving here for a visit when I saw something, I saw Bella driving towards the treaty line, ready to make a call but then something she saw made her petrified with fear. I wasn't able to see even a flicker of what it was because in a split second, _Bella's future vanished!" _Alice explained hurriedly and frantic.

Edward finally managed to talk, "Vanished? _Vanished? What do you mean vanish?" _He roared.

Jasper only stared with his mouth open, emotions playing off and from him was too much to comprehend. _What does this mean? _

"I couldn't see anything else in Bella's future, it's like… it's like….as if she were…." Alice sobbed, unable to finish.

"Dead?" Jasper blurted. "This can't be happening!" Then he made a beeline to run towards the treaty line with Edward and Alice following, hoping that they won't be too late.

_Please let her be all right… please oh please… let us make it there on time…_ Jasper pleaded with his thoughts.

_Oh my god, Bella! She can't be dead, she can't be! We shouldn't have agreed for her to go. We shouldn't have… oh if anything happens to her… _Edward shuddered at that thought.

* * *

_**Meanwhile from an anonymous person's point-of-view…**_

"Did we get her?" I asked the tall man with russet colored muscled skin and dark long hair, our leader.

He nodded. And pointed towards the direction of the smoke.

"Would that be enough?"

He nodded again. "We'll take care of it from here. You do what needs to be done." He said authoritatively.

I gave a mock salute and smirked. Then trudged towards the cave, where upon each step closer I made, the agonizing screams became louder and louder. Damn this. Damn all of them.

I took a peek at the one screaming and felt compassion towards her yet I seethed with disapproval and rage. Here in apparent agony, was someone I considered a great friend, even though we never got a chance to become that close. But there was an undeniable bond of family ties.

I wrinkled my nose, unable to come close for fear my instinct might take over.

"I have an idea of what's going on, but… hang in there." I whispered. Then I morphed into my other form, the one I kept secret. Then ran to tell the two nincompoops the news.

_Boy, you damn bloodsuckers are in for it now. Good luck with living through all this guilt. You're lucky that this screamer here was like family to us or she would've suffered the same fate as the one who did this to her. But one thing is for sure._

_The treaty is off._

Then I ran down to the big white house filled with the stench of the cold ones. It was empty but I'll wait for them here.

* * *

_**(Back to J, E and A)**_

The three of them arrived and immediately saw Bella's truck. It was empty but there were trails of blood. Something happened, and Bella was missing.

They rummaged through the truck frantically, sniffing out her trail and someone else's.

"I can't make out Bella's scent anymore other than here in the truck, other than that… nothing!" Jasper said ominously.

"I know!" Edward said, "How can someone vanish just like that?"

"Guys, this other scent, doesn't it seem familiar to you?" Alice said, terror in her eyes.

The two male immortals looked at each other and bared their teeth.

"_Victoria!" _The both growled.

Alice looked panicked. "But her scent ended here as well. But one thing's for sure, Bella got bitten."

Jasper and Edward both looked ready to pounce and kill.

"Two things. Two things could've happened to her. One, she's dead. Or two, she's changing." Alice said horrified but tried to stay calm.

"But where _is _she?" Jasper growled. Worry and panic was rising.

"Damn it!" Edward punched a tree and it snapped in half then he started a string of profanities.

"This is all my fault." Jasper kicked a boulder and it shattered.

"This is both of your faults!" Alice yelled. "Why did you let her run off by herself? You should've waited here than at home then you could've prevented it!"

Edward continued with his string of explicitness.

"We didn't count on this happening." Jasper said.

Alice sighed. "I'm sorry, it's none of your faults. No one saw this coming. Oh wait, I'm about to get a call." Then true enough, Alice's phone rang and she answered it at once. Edward and Jasper were confused, who could've called?

"Hey you, I didn't see you coming, in fact I don't see your future as well!" Alice answered a newfound panic in her voice.

Edward was too busy scouting and tracking down Victoria's and Bella's scents. Jasper did the same.

Then after a short while Alice put the phone down and turned to Jasper and Edward who both looked up at her.

"That was Sebastian, you know… the one I've been having a vision of… needing me…" She explained with a little embarrassment.

Edward glanced at Jasper. Jasper didn't flinch. Edward read that Jasper was preoccupied with finding Bella.

"So, what did he say?" Jasper asked.

"Well, as promised, he followed me here and he's now at home… with a _werewolf _waiting for us!" Alice answered, surprise and disgust evident on her face.

"Werewolf? _Werewolf? _You mean to say the Quileute's pack is now… a real morphed out _pack?" _Edward said repulsively.

Jasper scowled, "Alice you mentioned that you can't see Sebastian's future right now and you can't see Bella's as well right?"

Alice nodded.

"Then maybe it's connected. You can't see a… werewolf's future… and anyone interlaced with them… has an uncertain future as well…" Jasper said thoughtfully.

Alice blinked. "That is a possibility."

"But that would mean…" Edward's nose flared up and his teeth was bared. "That Bella must be with the werewolves!" he growled and Jasper growled as well.

"Guys, guys! Calm down. We can't do anything rash here. Sebastian said that there's a messenger waiting for us and frankly, even with Sebastian's power of pyrotechnics, I still feel uncomfortable of leaving him there…" Alice trailed of and with a nod from both Edward and Jasper, they sprinted off towards their house.

* * *

When they arrived, a black slick haired, lean and tall immortal who was wearing an all black ensemble opened the door for them.

Alice hurried with the introductions, "Edward, Jasper, Sebastian… Sebastian, Edward and Jasper…" she muttered and everyone nodded in acknowledgement and rushed to greet the other visitor who was waiting.

"_Jacob Black?" _Edward said in astonishment as he read the creature who was too big to be called a wolf yet too canine in features to be called a bear.

Alice and Jasper's eyes buldged out and a confused expression was left on Sebastian's face.

Then the wolfen creature morphed into that of a half-naked russet colored, tall and muscular familiar face with his signature smirk, yet still half crouched.

"Yes, it's me you stupid bloodsucker."

Then all four vampires crouched in front of Jacob Black.

"What do you want Jacob?" Jasper barked at him.

Jacob just smirked and folded his arms across his chest and nodded his head toward's Edward's direction.

"He's here to give us a warning as well as tell us what happened to Bella." Edward said dangerously monotonous.

"Okay, okay. Enough mind reading and let me speak. I'm not here for a fight – _yet._ So shut up and listen all of you." Jacob barked.

The four vampires relaxed their positions and stayed silent.

"You see, ever since you Cullen's have left, when we started to morph because Sam thought that you bit Bella and that would entail the breaking of our treaty. Anyway, I was supposed to help Bella recover from the hurt she felt or something but you blondie," he motioned to Jasper, "came and took over carrot top here."

Edward and Jasper snarled. Alice made them shut up. "Let him continue." She hissed.

"So we just kept watch from a distance… just in case but we noticed that there have been some killings of hikers here and we got suspicious. And true enough, one of your kind was the one doing all the killings here, a female one.

So all was good to go until we sensed that someone… the same one, the female, flame-haired catty bitch of a vampire started to move towards the boundary line. She was quick, I had to hand it to her. But when we finally caught up with her, we were a second too late. Bella was already lying unconscious on her car with blood seeping from her throat. In an instant we pulled off the fiend off of her and tore her to shreds and burned her."

Jasper and Edward were doing their best to control their rage. This was all too hard to bear.

"Then Sam told me to take a look at Bella. She was dying. She wasn't breathing but there was still a weak pulse. But then… when I was about to carry her out of the car and maybe run her to a hospital, her eyes shot open and she started screaming bloody murder. I didn't know what to do and I saw Sam pale out. He said that Bella was changing into _one of you._" Jacob said disgustingly and again growls and snarls erupted from the room.

Jasper, unable to contain all the emotions in the room, went outside and broke ten trees while muttering strings and strings of expletives.

Edward froze in reaction to deep distress. His eyes shut tight, his fists clenched and his teeth bared.

Alice gasped and sobbed into Sebastian's shoulder.

Sebastian, the only one calm enough in the room spoke out, "So where is she now?"

Jasper ran back to the room and waited for the answer.

"She's being held inside a cave just north from the reservation in the heart of the woods. I came here for two reasons by the way. One, to warn you that the treaty is off. Two, is because boy you're lucky that Bella is like family to me and Billy that since she was turning into one of you against her wishes that we're going to overlook this. I'm here to tell you where she is for you to get her then you need to leave as soon as possible or the pack will have to move and there will be a war."

"You mean to say that she's undergoing all that hell by herself inside a dark cave?" Jasper said in disgust and horror.

Edward was royally pissed off now.

"Sam is keeping guard from a distance. Me and Sam are the only ones tame enough to stand guard, the others in our pack are still young and instinctive so they might do in Bella. mind you, if not for Charlie, we would cull Bella ourselves but she is a friend of mine so we're all letting this slip." Jacob said smugly.

Jasper grabbed Jacob's shoulder and pushed him against the wall, his eyes were murderous. "Listen here Jacob, we need to go to her _now, _the transformation is a painful one, take us there now!"

Edward and Sebastian grabbed Jasper off of Jacob. And Jacob, unfazed just straightened up and smirked even more.

Jacob then morphed into wolf form and started to run toward's Bella's direction.

Jasper pulled himself from Edward and Sebastian and started sprinting after Jacob with Edward behind him.

Alice and Sebastian stayed behind, knowing that this wasn't their affairs and they're job's done.

_Wait for me Bella, sweetheart, baby… wait for me… I'm coming…. I'm almost there beautiful…I'm so sorry… _Jasper thought sadly and frantic. _Damn Victoria! How can we forget about her? Shit._

_Damn! Bella was in deep pain right now. I know she wants to change but I knew this wasn't how she would've wanted it to be… now no one can even exact revenge as that bitch Victoria was dead. _Edward thought bitterly and furious. _I was too caught up with all that's happening that I completely forgot I was tracking her! Damn it! _

As they made out the shape of a small cave, the ascending screams of pain were heard and that pain was magnified in Jasper and Edward's being.

Bella was changing.

She was becoming one of them.

* * *

**AN: This should clear some things up. Oh dear, will Bella live through the transformation, or... won't she? _Dun dun dun.._**

**Okay people, keep on voting on the poll. It's still open. Only three more chapters for voting... then on the 20th, we'll finally know.**

**plainlyironic: Haha. Nope. Bella's not dead..._yet...? _Wait for the next chapter to find out.**

**I'm sorry for another suspenseful chapter but come on guys, it's not _that _suspenseful as the previous chapters. **

_**Another Challenge:**_** Can anyone tell me correctly what line did Jasper say to Bella that registered on her mind as well as the line that Edward said as well that also registered on Bella's mind? If you read closely, they both said those lines a couple of times throughout the story. To the first person who can guess correctly, I will dedicate the FINAL chapter to. Hint: (Jasper: two words, Edward: three words). You guys have to get _both_**** right.  
**

**Another "Oh dear" from me as Team Edward and Team Jasper are duking it out in the polls and reviews. The first poll, the final poll as well as the reviews will all be taken into account in the formation of the conclusion to this drama fest of a story. You, my dear readers, play a big big role. HUGE.  
**

**If i get lot's of love, I will update soon and lessen the agony. (Okay, i guess I _am _evil muahaha but you have to admit, I deliver _fast!) Hey no one gets a grand happy ending just like that from me, the characters have to work for it! The greatest win comes from the hardest battles._**

**Thanks for all the support, your opinions matter to me. (",) Until next time.**

**P.S. Read my other stories, they are about Bella and Edward. No mixes there but suspense, oh lovely suspense is there.**

**KFYI,**

_**Margaux**  
_


	17. Chapter 17: Permanence

**As promised, this chapter is for twilightdaydream.**

**Oh yeah, someone won the final chapter dedication already. So to the winner, (i pm'd you btw), you'll be mentioned on the last chapter. - margaux  
**

* * *

_As they made out the shape of a small cave, the ascending screams of pain were heard and that pain was magnified in Jasper and Edward's being._

_Bella was changing._

_She was becoming one of them._

* * *

**Chapter 17: Permanence**

**Third Person POV**

Jasper and Edward finally made it into the cave but before they could get inside, Jacob morphed backed into his human form and blocked their way.

"Move, _dog!" _Jasper threatened and made to hit him but Edward, who had a calm face yet eyes that screamed murder made to restrain him.

"Wait, Jasper." He said calmly.

Jacob folded his arms across his chest and smirked.

"We don't have time for this! _Don't you hear Bella screaming?!" _Jasper yelled.

Edward shot him a glance, "_I know that, _Jasper! But the sooner we get this over with Black here, the faster we can get to her." Then he glared at Jacob. "Make it quick, dog."

Jacob growled then started to speak. "Sam asked me to tell you that we can't allow you guys to stay longer as our newbies are getting feisty so you better take Bella and leave now."

"But she's in pain! We can't just move her!" Jasper cried in disgust.

Jacob sighed. "I know, I know but it can't be helped. But as a courtesy to Dr. Cullen, who we know had nothing to do in this mess and of course for Charlie and Bella, the pack has decided to take care of telling Charlie whatever works. You just have to take Bella now. Or else."

"You would do that?" Edward asked in disbelief.

"Sure, sure." Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Fine, whatever. Thanks. Now, can we go now?" Jasper muttered.

Jacob nodded and morphed into wolf form and stood watch outside.

Jasper and Edward hastily went inside the cave and what they saw broke their hearts.

Bella was lying on a blanket laid on the floor, her hands and legs were bound and she was writhing in pain, screaming.

"J-Jacob said that they had to restrain her just in case she changed fast. Damn bastards." Edward said.

Jasper didn't bother to listen but started undoing the ropes. Edward could read Jasper's mind and he knew that this was extremely hard for Jasper because whatever Bella felt, he also felt with his power.

Edward moved quickly to help Jasper undo the ropes. Then they heard a car pull out outside the cave. It was Alice and Sebastian. "Let's go."

When they were done unbinding Bella, they took her to the car and drove off.

….

Inside a dark room Jasper and Edward did their best to comfort Bella and ease her pain throughout the transformation. Jasper was holding one of her hands and Edward, the other. Jasper was sending Bella calming waves and Edward sang to Bella. Everyone was broken.

_When you try your best but don't succeed_

_The pain is excruciating. I can only hope that Bella makes it. Her heart is still beating… it's weak but it's still a long ways to go… _Jasper thought with chagrin. _I'm so sorry Bella, this wasn't how I wanted it to be for you. I know how hard you were trying to keep everyone happy. I'm sorry Bella if I failed you. _Then he placed his palm on her forehead and continued to send all the calming feelings he could give amidst all the pain he felt as well.

Bella thrashed and cried, she kept slipping in and slipping out of consciousness.

_Love, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I completely forgot about Victoria. I'm so sorry. I failed. _Edward felt extremely guilty as well as overwhelming rage.

_When you get what you want, but not what you need_

_I know that this is what you want Bella but this isn't how anyone would've wanted it to happen. This isn't what you need. Not right now. No. It should always be according to your terms… when you're ready… I'm sorry Bella…_Jasper thought sadly.

_If only I changed you the moment you wanted me to then maybe this whole mess didn't happen. This is all my fault. Damn it. If only… now this is the price. You were right. You were always right. This was inevitable . if only I listened… _Edward thought as he caressed Bella's hair._  
_

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

_Bella, I know you're tired but please, please hold on a little longer… please…. You can get through this… I'm here… we're here…_Jasper pleaded._  
_  
_When the tears come streaming down on your face_

Bella was crying from the excruciating feeling.

"Kill me now… I can't stand it… put out the fire… let me die… it hurts…. Let me die…._please…please…._" She whimpered.

Jasper moved his hand from her forehead to wipe Bella's tears. _She didn't deserve this…_

Edward tried to keep from sobbing and just tried to stroke Bella's hair. _All that happened since my departure was Bella crying. I would die a thousand deaths just not to see her cry but here she was, not just crying, but crying while fighting. But she's on the brink of giving up._

"Bella, sweetie, please, please, just a little longer now… you have to fight it… me and Edward are here… please…" Jasper pleaded.

"Just a little longer… you're strong love… you can do this…" Edward added.

_When you lose something you can't replace_

_Bella's humanity will forever be lost. She was turning into one of us. I didn't want her to suffer all the sufferings we have to endure… I didn't want to… I still don't want to… of course I wanted her to be with me… but not like this… I can't stand this… _Edward thought bitterly.

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_

_At what price do I get Bella to be with me together? This pain? How can I possibly ever think of letting Bella go through all this? I wasn't worth this. _Jasper thought.

_Could it be worse?_

_Could this be worse? Of course it could. She could still die if her heart won't make it before the transformation is done. _Edward thought.

_If the transformation is complete Bella still has to go through one final agony. This was just physical pain. But what about when she's going to decide between me and Edward? I'm so sorry Bella. We did this to you. You didn't deserve all this. _Jasper thought, disgusted with himself.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

_I will fix you. I will if you let me. Whatever it takes, Bella. I will make everything up to you. _Edward thought determined.

_Bella, just say and I will give you what you need. Just say you need me. You don't need to even tell me what you need. Just tell me that you need me… and I'll deliver… _Jasper thought with resolve.

_High up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
If you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth_

_But Bella, love, even if I am to blame in all of this, I still do not regret loving you and being with you. I… am clearly reluctant of letting you go… I love you too much and you're my responsibility now…I have to fight for you to the last. _Edward thought.

Bella's heart started slowing down. And her screams toned down to that of a whimpers.

_It's almost over, Bella. I am responsible for all this mess and even if you don't choose me I will still be with you… waiting in the wings…. _Jasper thought.

And the two immortals watched as Bella's transformation was ending. Each not letting go of her hands and continuing to soothe her.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

Bella's breathing was starting to slow down and her features were changing. She was already dead pale. She didn't trash anymore yet she occasionally jerked.

_  
Tears stream down on your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I..._

As Bella was heaving deep breaths, there were slow tears coming down from her eyes. She quieted down to soft sobs.

_Tears stream down on your face_

_I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I..._

As Bella's heart started to grow slower still, Jasper and Edward both made a solemn promise.

"I will learn from my mistakes and I will take care of you."

They both said simultaneously.

_  
_  
_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

Then her heart finally stopped and Bella stayed still.

Edward and Jasper stiffened and froze in anticipation.

Then, slowly… Bella spoke… her eyes still closed…

What she said was a name.

She called out a name.

And Jasper and Edward's eyes widened and they both heard who Bella wanted, who Bella needed, who Bella wanted to see.

And before Bella's eyes fluttered open, one man bowed out graciously, clapped the back of the victor then made his way outside the room.

"You…I love… you." Bella whispered. Then she opened her eyes to be greeted by glorious loving eyes.

* * *

**AN: First off, the song is Fix You by Coldplay.**

**HAHAHA! Another cliffhanger. I know all of you are all, _"Who did she say? Whose name did she say? Whose name did she effing call??" _But you have to wait for that.**

**Almost done, three more chapters to go people! The poll is still up! So vote vote vote!**

**Bella's a vampire now. What next? And where in the world are they?**

**Keep sending love and I'll update fast.**

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**


	18. Chapter 18: Overcast

_Then her heart finally stopped and Bella stayed still._

_Edward and Jasper stiffened and froze in anticipation._

_Then, slowly… Bella spoke… her eyes still closed…_

_What she said was a name._

_She called out a name._

_And Jasper and Edward's eyes widened and they both heard who Bella wanted, who Bella needed, who Bella wanted to see._

_And before Bella's eyes fluttered open, one man bowed out graciously, clapped the back of the victor then made his way outside the room._

"_You…I love… you." Bella whispered. Then she opened her eyes to be greeted by glorious loving eyes._

* * *

**Chapter 18: Overcast**

**Bella's POV:**

When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by glorious black ones filled with care and love. I smiled at that but then I started to panic because I couldn't remember being in this place or seeing this person. I couldn't remember anything.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he asked, he must've noticed the rising panic that I felt.

"I…I…. where am I? What happened? Where's….?" I started blurting out.

He wrapped his arms around me and I sobbed on his shoulder. Wait, why weren't there tears falling? And why… why do I sound… different? I'm so confused.

"Bella, Bella… please calm down, I'll answer your questions, all of them. Just please calm down." He said softly while rubbing my back.

I looked up at him and noticed a glimpse of my reflection on a mirror near the bed and I opened my mouth in shock.

"Am I…am I a … vampire?" I asked.

He held my face in his hands and nodded sadly.

"H-how?" I asked nervously.

He studied my face and he was confused.

"You mean, you don't remember?"

I shook my head.

"Then maybe we should leave it at that…." he suggested.

Was it that bad? No, I didn't want to be left in the dark.

"Okay, before you start getting even more upset, I'll tell you. You need to know, I guess." He said then he sighed.

"But before that…"

I waited for him to continue.

He looked at me with a pained expression that I didn't want to see then in a flash I was enveloped in his arms.

"I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, Bella. I'm so sorry for being stupid enough to let you go through all of these… I'm truly sorry… I understand if you don't forgive me for as long as you exist…. I'm sorry for failing you…. failing to save you…."

I hugged him back. "Please don't be sorry. This is what I've always wanted, you know that. Please don't feel guilty. I was going to be changed anyway, right? And talking with Angela and having sometime alone is something that I really needed, please don't be sad. I forgive you. But please, please tell me what happened…"

He made to face me and nodded.

"Bella, you remember going to the beach with Angela right?"

I nodded.

"Then what happened after? Can you recall?"

I thought hard. I had… sparks of some memory… but it was still hazy…

"I remember driving back to the treaty line…" I started.

He nodded. "Go on."

"Then it started raining hard and… it was getting hard to see the road… but I saw it… then I was about to call when…."

I gasped and all the hair on back of my neck stood up.

He sensed my fear and held me tight.

"I-it w-was V-Victoria, wasn't it?" I stammered.

I could feel his muscles tightening. "Yes." He answered, a shadow cast on his face.

"I remember now, she… she said something then she bit me… and…"

I thought back to what happened next.

"_Hello Isabella Marie Swan, did you miss me?" _she said in a sickeningly sweet voice with melodic quality.

It was Victoria. I stayed frozen in my seat and I dropped my phone. She then smashed my window and grabbed me, then without hesitation, she plunged her sharp gleaming white teeth on my throat then something happened. In a split second, she was juxtaposed into the opposite direction from me. The movement was too fast that I got thrown on the ground and all went black. I think I hit my head or something.

Then I heard growls and voices. Then I felt myself being picked up by big, long muscled arms that were feverishly warm.

Then… then that warmth was nothing compared to the fire I felt on my throat. My eyes shot open and I screamed in pain. The pain was unbearable, I wanted to die. As the fire spread around my body, I didn't know how many times I slipped in and out of consciousness. I was delirious.

Then I remember being brought into a cave then bound. I continued thrashing and clawing. The pain was indescribable. It was too much to bear. Then a familiar voice rang through my head.

"I have an idea of what's going on but… hang in there." I knew that was the voice of Jacob. I had to ask about that.

Then I started seeing dogs and bears, or wolves or something like that. Then I felt cold arms carry me. I knew it was Jasper and Edward. Then I was inside a car with what I think was Alice and…someone I didn't know…

Then I could make out hazily about this room and bits and pieces were starting to return to me.

Both Jasper and Edward were with me the whole ordeal. Both were comforting me. Both said promises to me.

Then the last thing I remember was feeling one my hands freed.

Then I woke up.

"Are you all right?" He asked me concernedly.

"I'm…I'm all right… I can remember some parts… but not all…" I admitted.

He gave a small smile.

"I'll help you through it. What do you remember?"

"Well… I think I saw someone grab Victoria… but I think when that happened, I got thrown off and bumped my head or something because the next thing I remember was being carried then I felt fire on my throat… just like that last time… with James….then I woke up in pain inside a cave…. Then I felt bounded…. Then I heard a voice… I think it was Jacob's…. but I'm not sure…. There were….furry creatures as well…."

He nodded. "I see. Well, you're right. That was Jacob. He and Sam – you remember him right?"

I gave a nod.

"He and Sam found you and took care of Victoria. She's dead now. Though I wish it was I who tore her apart and made her suffer for doing this to you." he said, fire in his eyes.

"But how can they kill her? Don't they know she's a-a vampire?"

"They knew. You see Bella, Jacob kept a distance from you because the Quileute's pack…well, Bella they're werewolves."

My eyes grew wide with shock.

"So what Jacob told me… at the prom… the warning and then there was one time… at the beach… they weren't… superstitions? Well, what do you know…." I said in disbelief. Then I realized something.

"Then the… the treaty he told me about with you guys, it's off now?"

He nodded sadly.

"Oh no. This is all because of me." then I realized another thing.

"_What about Charlie? Renee? What about my parents?"_ I cried exasperatedly.

"Jacob and Sam are taking care of it. I'm sorry, Bella. They can't see you anymore. Not when you're a newborn… and well… you're dead…"

"I… I see…" I choked.

"We're in Alaska, by the way. We're here in Juneau, to be specific. We'll need to hide out here for a while."

"Wait… I remember… you and… him being here. Where is he?"

He looked even more confused.

"You don't remember… saying something… just before you woke up into one of us?" He asked in surprise.

I shook my head. Did I say something? Oh no, what did I say this time?

"Bella… you… don't remember… saying my name?" He said, hurt in his tone.

I felt a pang of guilt. I didn't remember saying anyone's name.

"I…I'm sorry…. I don't really remember…"

"So you haven't… chosen?" he asked, hopeful.

And I remembered what I was supposed to do before this whole mess. I was about to tell them my decision.

"I…I have…I mean… I had….but….now….I….I'm not….I don't…."

He sighed heavily. Then closed his eyes and made his way to the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, panicking.

He looked at me with the saddest eyes.

"Wait here. I'll get him." He said before I could protest.

"Jasper, wait –" I started to call out.

But he was gone.

I buried my face on my hands.

Oh no.

* * *

**AN: That's right people, it was Jasper's name she called out. But why couldn't she remember? Was that really her decision? Then why would Jasper get Edward?**

**Haha. Last chance for voting on the poll, guys.**

**To finally clear the matter, wait for the next chapter, in like say, two days? Sorry. I'm extremely busy. **

**But if I get 20 reviews I MIGHT update tomorrow.**

**Keep in mind, the next chapter will finally tell WHO Bella has chosen. FINALLY. So be patient, send some love so you'll know soon enough.**

**I'm evil, I know with the prolonged agony but I did say I'm ending with chapter 20. But I promise a beautiful ending – no matter who wins Bella's heart.**

**Originally, Bella's decision is to be revealed on the 20****th**** chapter, but I've managed to lessen my evil ways and cater to your burning curiosity and finally move her decision on the next chapter. Chapter 20 is for a very momentous occasion, can you guess what that is? (Throws confetti)**

**So any thoughts or comments you would like to share before the unveiling of Bella's decision, speak now or forever hold your peace! I checked the poll just now and someone's winning by a mile. So turn the tides or keep it steady, it's your time to move. VOTE and REVIEW.**

**Thanks for all the support you've given me. I appreciate all your comments! I love you guys! This story rocks because you readers rock as well!  
**

**Plainlyironic: I'm sorry, someone beat you to it with the quotes. So as consolation prize, this chapter is for you.**

**Oh yeah, should i make an emmettxbella fic? or a jacobxbella fic next? Let me know. (",)**

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**


	19. Chapter 19: Just Say

**Just a small warning, this chapter has multiple POVs. Poll's closed. Thanks for voting. Enjoy the result. - Margaux**

* * *

"_So you haven't… chosen?" he asked, hopeful._

_And I remembered what I was supposed to do before this whole mess. I was about to tell them my decision._

"_I…I have…I mean… I had….but….now….I….I'm not….I don't…."_

_He sighed heavily. Then closed his eyes and made his way to the door._

"_Where are you going?" I asked, panicking._

_He looked at me with the saddest eyes._

"_Wait here. I'll get him." He said before I could protest._

"_Jasper, wait –" I started to call out._

_But he was gone._

_I buried my face on my hands._

_Oh no. _

_-Bella_

* * *

**Chapter 19: Just Say**

**Jasper**

I was running after Edward. I knew he wasn't that far off… probably hunting… or sulking…. I sighed.

What happened? I asked myself. I thought… I mean we both heard Bella… right when she was about to open her eyes… she called out my name.

She called out my name.

I… was beyond exultant when I heard her. It was me she asked for, it was me she wanted, it was me she needed… it was me… she said she loved… I felt that. Even Edward, hurt as he was, understood and bowed out.

But then.

Then she forgot.

When she did not remember even saying a name ,I felt her guilt, I felt her indecision. I felt her panic. What about what I felt? Well for starters, that hurt. _A lot. _I know she didn't mean to but still, the all too swift transposition from being the happiest being on earth to being the miserable ball of doubt and hurt was too much to bear.

Maybe she said the wrong name? Maybe she really meant to call Edward… not me.

Now we're faced with the same dilemma all over again.

I shut my eyes tight and heaved a heavy sigh.

This was excruciating.

But I have to get Edward back. He has to know.

So I ran towards the direction Edward ran off to and I could already see him.

Here goes.

**Edward**

Here I was lying down on the snow laden hard cold ground just letting the snow fall on me. Bella has chosen Jasper. She said his name… not mine….

I shut my eyes and curled my lip bitterly.

Maybe they were really the ones meant to be.

But if that is so, how come I still have these strong feelings for her?

I love Bella.

But Jasper's my brother.

Jasper was there when she needed someone.

She chose her.

Not me.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my index finger and forefinger. Then I felt a familiar prescence. I didn't even bother to open my eyes and look up at him.

"Oh, hello Jasper. When's the wedding?" I said monotonously. I wasn't in the mood.

**Bella**

I buried my face in my hands and felt so guilty I wanted to die of shame. Did I make a decision already? Had I really?

I looked up and walked towards the dresser and studied my appearance. I was changed. My face was more angular, more defined, my skin a whole lot paler, and my hair was darker and smoother…but my eyes were blood red and there was an insatiable burning in my throat. This was permanent. But there were other things to think about.

I knew I picked.

I have picked.

I just… forgot who it was….

I'm such a horrible person.

How can you forget something you're dead, no pun intended, sure on?

Think Bella. Who just who is it? Decide _now. _You can't prolong this any longer.

I collapsed gracefully on the couch I found and closed my eyes.

I knew I had only a short period of time to rethink things.

**Third Person with Jasper and Edward**

Jasper stood still with a straight face at Edward. Then he slapped his hand on his forehead, then brushed of his honey blond hair and shook his head. _Edward. You got it wrong. I'm not here for a wedding…regretfully…I'm here because… _Jasper thought.

Then Edward opened his eyes then pulled himself to a sitting position and stared at Jasper with a bewildered expression._ No wedding? But I thought? This is all too bizarre._

"Because?" Edward prompted.

Jasper sighed. "Bella forgot that she called out my name." he said sadly.

Edward felt slightly hopeful but immense sympathy for his brother.

"Well that… bluntly said… that sucks…" Edward commented. "So what does it mean?"

Jasper shrugged, then ran a hand on his hair. "Well… I guess she has to make a final decision. That's why I'm here to get you. She was looking for you as well, by the way."

Edward stood up and eyed Jasper. _He thinks Bella was disappointed to see him. That really hurts but I don't think that's the case. Whether Bella remembered or not, it was 'Jasper' she called._

"Why do you feel that way, Edward? Shouldn't you be slightly relieved?" Jasper blinked.

Edward shook his head. "She said your name, even if she remembered or not. That's a big thing Jasper. I'm afraid… that if I go back there and she… remembers then I would have to leave… again… I'm not sure I can do that anymore."

Jasper stared at Edward and felt his pain and his reluctance. "Edward. If she really chose me, would she even bother if she remembered or not? Won't you expect… if she did chose me… that she would be happy all the same not confused and panicky? How does that make me feel? Uncertain to start with."

Edward sighed. "So we're back to square one. But I still believe that she made a decision by now. She won't prolong our agony much longer. So I will go back. There's still a chance. I'll take it."

Jasper nodded. Then they sped of to Bella.

**Bella**

I heard running light footsteps coming to this direction. They were back. Time to face the music. I sighed.

Then in a flash, they were both in front of me.

"Bella, we're very sorry for everything we put you through. Tremendously sorry. And asking you to take one of us, though we are both at fault for all the pain and tears, we're here in front of you… offering you the remainder of our existence… offering our care, our love and our silent hearts." Edward said softly. I felt a guilty all over again.

"Why are you guilty, Bella? None of this is your fault. You just did what any ordinary human girl did and that is to let people, well in our case, immortals, in and love you as you have loved us. And now that you're an immortal as well, which is another stigma me and Edward have to bear for the rest of our existence… you should now focus on being happy… Your life was stole from the moment you met our family. Do whatever makes you happy and we'll both accept what you want. Don't think about what I want, or what he wants or what you think is right or wrong. Bella tell us what do _you _want. Who do you _need?"_ Jasper said sincerely.

"Jasper…Edward… please don't blame yourselves for whatever happened to me. I have already come to terms with what I am now, even before I was changed. You both deserve someone better than me. It still doesn't make sense why two great beings like you would want me." I said softly.

"Bella, the fact that two people has seen you, really seen you and felt you for who you really are and what you are… the fact that you were able to cross the boundary that separates the way of life of predators and preys… the fact that two immortals can see something in you… just that fact Bella is enough to conclude that you are beyond special." Edward said with conviction and his crooked smile.

"There are no words, Bella, there is no scale big enough to gauge the hold you have over us. There is no real need for explanation of why we feel for you Bella. we just do because you're you. you're Bella." Jasper gave his famous half-smile.

I just stared at them, shocked. I felt all their love for me. I felt every emotion they had. It was as if they have already accepted whatever outcome of my decision would be. Now I had to do my part. It was only fair.

_Earth to Bella  
This is a quiet emergency_

I know that they feel sorry for getting me mixed up in the middle of things and that they blame themselves for ever making any form of contact with me that lead to me being one of the damned. But I felt guilty all the same. Here were two guys who were ready for me. Now they really need my answer. Though I still feel that I don't deserve them, there was no getting out of this. I had to choose. I promise I will devote myself to the one I picked and I also promise to still be a friend to the one I didn't choose._  
_

_Earth to Bella  
There's so much more to  
get then wronged  
Earth to Bella_

But Angela was right. I shouldn't let guilt cloud my decision. It was time to assert myself. I had to speak out and reach for what I want. I should just pick so everyone can move on now. If I look at it, there are more positive outcomes if I decide now than… later on.

_  
You're treading water successfully  
But are you really?_

"We have already had the opportunity of being with you Bella and relishing in you love so there would be no regrets after this, whatever it takes." Edward said. Edward… _my Edward…_ He was like my Greek God who always saved me when I was troubled, and who kept me feeling so safe and secure… He always thought about what's best for me… He loves me so… and he was willing to do whatever it takes. I looked at him, he was still that beautiful being with bronze hair and the crooked smile I loved best. Edward was like my moon that guides me, makes sure I'm safe through all the adversities that surround my world.

"Just say, Bella. Say what you need." Jasper said. Jasper… he was like a messenger of God, an angel that helped me through the toughest time of my life. That was who he was for me. An Angel who showed me heaven when I was in hell. He knew what I needed. He knew. He always knew and he would always help me get them. He also pushed me to get not just what I needed but what I wanted. Though he wasn't that much of a talker, his actions were strong. He made me feel better. He made _me _better. Jasper was so patient with me… it took a while for me to admit that I liked him… but he never wavered. He stood by me. And he was standing by me still. He loves me. He makes me feel the immensity of his love for me. All I needed… was to say. Now looking at him, his golden hair on his face, and the half-smile he wears for me… he's like the sun for me, that gives light to all the darkness I felt.

I'm treading waters deeply here. Treading two separate waters. Searching for an answer. I've been procrastinating choosing now I had to go deeper inside me and pull out my answer.

_  
Don't you want to see the deep?  
It's not so hard  
Just forgive yourself and  
feel the water open in_

I have two equally wonderful men in front of me. One my crimson-haired Greek God and the other, my golden-haired angel. I took a moment to gather myself, cast away my doubts, throw away my guilt and finally open my mouth to say.

"First of all… I am immensely grateful for all the love you've both given me. Edward…" I looked at him and he smiled at me.

I smiled back and continued.

"Edward, whenever I'm with you, I always felt secure and protected. You always went out your way just to give me you think is best for me. You always thought about me. And I'm touched that you would say that you were willing to do whatever it takes to keep us together. When you were gone, you took half of me with you. I died when you left. That's how I value us. I felt nothing without you."

Then I looked at Jasper and he smiled.

"Jasper, you were like an angel to me. You didn't only get me out of my personal hell but you made me see heaven. I love how you always knew what I needed and pushed me to get it. You have taught me many things. And you helped mend the pieces of my heart. No. You gave me half of yours to fill the gaping hole in my being. I am forever grateful for that."

Then I looked at them both.

"But I know who I want to be with forever. I know who I can't live without."

They looked at me with anticipation.

Then I smiled at him and his eyes glowed.

"It's you I love."

Then he enveloped me in his arms and kissed my hair over and over.

And I grinned.

Yes, I needed my angel.

"I love you Jasper." I whispered.

* * *

**AN: To start with. The song is Earth to Bella Part 2 by Incubus.**

**So there you go, Jasper won Bella's heart! This was a hard decision to do but it had to be done. Thanks for voting on the poll, you can check it out. And thanks for duking it out in the reviews corner. Watch out for the finale. It's super sweet.**

**Sorry for just updating, I got sick from fatigue. So expect the last chapter by say, Wednesday at the earliest.**

**There's something you have to read about in the next chapter. Someone might die. **

**So keep sending love for the ending to come out soon…**

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**


	20. End: All I Need Jasper

**AN: As promised, this is dedicated to ****bookwormkrissy**** for guessing first, Edward's tagline ("whatever it takes") and Jasper's ("Just say") in this story.**

* * *

"_It's you I love."_

_Then he enveloped me in his arms and kissed my hair over and over._

_And I grinned. _

_Yes, I needed my angel. _

"_I love you Jasper."_

- Bella

* * *

**End: All I Need**

**Jasper's POV: (1 year after Bella's Decision - present)**

"The flowers you picked out are lovely." I said softly as I squeezed my loved one's hand. She didn't look at me but I saw her smile a bit.

"Thank you." she said timidly.

I sighed inwardly and felt her pain. I couldn't blame her. This was hard on me as well.

I draped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her head then sent reassuring waves of emotions around her.

"I know it's hard, Bella but if you think about it, and it's something anyone of us would hope for."

She knelt down on the cool ground and arranged the flowers neatly.

"I know… but it's hard to say… good-bye, you know? I mean it was hard the first time… then the second time… then now… I don't know how many good-byes can one being make?" she said slowly.

I placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It's just that… I hate it when people leave… I hate goodbyes… and saying goodbye to _one _person more than once gets tougher each time." she continued.

I knelt down beside her then made her look at me. "Bella, at least… now… we'll have closure… this is our final goodbye."

She thought for a while then sighed and nodded once.

"You're right." Then she stood up and straightened her position. I stood beside her. Then we both looked down and took a moment of silence, feeling the cool breeze making its way like a ripple across the tall grass and wild flowers of the meadow with the silence of the color changing hue of twilight in the distance. The air of farewell hung in the atmosphere that enveloped us. This was indeed a final goodbye.

* * *

**Edward's POV (Flashback just after Bella's Decision):**

When Bella looked at Jasper lovingly and said that it was him he wanted for the second time, needless to say, I got hurt all over again. But of course, there was already a level of acceptance that I had for them. So I said good-bye to the two of them with a smile on my face. I am happy for them. I truly am. But that doesn't mean I'm not hurt. I am. _Immensely _so. After my good-bye, I left. So driving my Volvo, I decided to just drive off.

There was so much more I wanted to tell Bella but whatever I do or say, this was always a consequence of my leaving – her moving on so there was really nothing I could do.

_Take me as you are  
Push me off the road  
The sadness,  
I need this time to be with you _

If she chose me, she could have me as she is and she could do anything she wanted to me and I'd be fine with that. The sadness I felt is unbearable. I needed her. But she needed Jasper more. I sighed.

_  
I'm freezing in the sun  
I'm burning in the rain  
The silence  
I'm screaming,  
Calling out your name  
_

Jus driving on and driving off… I'm sinking deeper and deeper into despair. Oh, Bella… _my Bella…_ I love you, I really do. I did my best to stop from breaking down.  
_  
And I do reside in your light  
That puts up the fire with me and find_

In her light… in her heart… in her mind… in her… that's where I am…. With her… that's where I wanted to be… without her, I am nothing.

_Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles  
That's what I'll do if we say goodbye_

If this was really the final goodbye… then I had to put out the fire… I have to… I should….  
_  
To be is all I gotta be  
And all that I see  
And all that I need this time_

But I don't think I could ever stop loving her. It's who I am. It's what I feel. Maybe time can ease the pain but the love would still be there… existing….

_To me the life you gave me  
The day you said goodnight. _

The time she first said she loved me… it was that night… that night that I really felt on top of the world. I was changed. She changed me.

_The calmness in your face  
That I see through the night  
The warmthress your light is pressing unto us  
You didn't ask me why  
I never would have known  
Oblivion is falling down_

I will miss watching her when she sleeps… not that she can anymore but I will miss all that… she thought at that time that she was intoxicated by my presence when in fact I was the one who was hooked on her. At that time that I left… she didn't even doubt that I didn't love her… if only she knew beforehand my intentions were… if only I told her everything right away… instead of lie… I didn't know that this could actually happen…

_If you could only know me like your prayers at night  
Then everything between you and me will be alright. _

I know in my heart that if I didn't leave… or if she really knew me and understood right away what I wanted for her, and what I really felt… and if she saw through my lie… then maybe…

_She's already taken,  
She's already taken _

But she's already taken now. She is Jasper's and Jasper is Bella's. They are happy together. She's with him now… not me. I had already accepted that. I do. I just hope that everything goes well between them. They deserve to be happy.

_She's already taken,  
She's already taken_

She had decided on Jasper already. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. Maybe I was just a tool to get them together… to test their love… if that was the case, I succeeded as their tool. But still it doesn't erase the fact that Bella…she….

_  
She's already taken me  
She's already taken,  
She's already taken me_

She's already taken me.

I don't think anyone can get me back from the hold she placed on me. _  
_

_  
The day you said goodnight._

* * *

**Jasper's POV (Flashback Six months after Bella's decision)**

_Standing here, feeling all the emotions in the area and my own nervousness to boot, I was very much affected. I hope nothing goes wrong today. Please, just for today. _

Edward, who was standing beside me, eyed me and rolled his eyes jokingly then patted my back.

"You'll be fine." He whispered.

Though he didn't look at me directly when he said that, I could tell that he was still hurting but there was some genuine happiness in him. It should've been him who was standing where I was.

Then, music filled the air and Emmett, our other brother, the big burly one in white right now made motion for everyone to stand up.

"What are you too girls yappin' about? It's time already." He hissed. Then he broke into a grin. A highly suspicious grin. "You two aren't planning on switching your roles at the last minute, right? Heh heh."

I glared at him and Edward chuckled. How very tactless of you Emmett.

"_Emmett." _Esme… our mother warned and I smiled appreciatingly at her.

Emmett shrugged then smiled as doors opened and Rosalie came in first with a warning glance at Emmett amid her usual beauty expression.

But all thought left me when I saw her… I saw her in all her glory… looking outrageously beautiful was Bella… who was wearing the biggest smile in the world that shone so bright. When she walked towards me with slow calculated steps of grace, she wasn't alone. Carlisle, my father, was walking her towards me with the proudest smile I have ever seen. Behind them, Alice, someone who once I had something very special with was holding out something behind Bella, also feeling happy. Of course, wherever Alice was, Sebastian, her new beau, wasn't far behind. He was standing beside Emmett, assisting him and looking at Alice with love in his eyes.

At the start of the walk, all the tension lifted in the air and was replaced with excitement and love. My whole family was here. I couldn't be happier.

Finally stopping and taking their places, Carlisle kissed Bella the way a father always did then looked at me and smiled.

I took Bella's hand, my eyes never leaving hers and we then shifted our gaze towards the front.

Then Emmett cleared his throat and started with his booming voice.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"

Yes. This was our wedding day.

**Sebastian's POV (outsider's pov-wedding):**

Today is the day I bear witness to a wedding between two immortals as well as act as their photographer. It was just recently that these people have me involved in their lives. Looking at this wedding that my number one, Alice had designed made me want to have a wedding of my own.

I chuckled.

Let me describe my beloved's handicraft as I take pictures.

Tonight we are here in my château in Paris. _Château la Claymore_ that's situated on top of a small hill with a lush view. We are here in my vineyard. The ceremony grounds were on a gazebo overlooking the green field with twisting of violets and reds from the plump grapes that twisted and hung laboriously. The aisle was covered with a velvet red carpet with small stars shaped crystals that held soft tiny lights that made everything sparkle and shimmer with baskets and baskets of dark red roses strewn here and there. There were ice sculptures of angels and nymphs that pointed to the altar and made a guiding effect with small lights embedded in them that made them glow like there were wisps of light in their core. Alice had wanted a heavenly effect against the darkness. Contradicting, and meaningful and 

exactly after the wedding, the sun was set to rise. So the wedding is timed to end before sunrise to signal a fresh start and also Bella's perception of Jasper as her sun… her angel…

The motif was red. Alice was the maid-of-honor and she was wearing a beautiful chiffon queen cut gown with a shade of burgundy that was set like ômbre and had a deep cut at the back and a structured oversized bow on her collar. She was beautiful. I knew about her and Jasper beforehand and asked her about what she felt but being the wonderful Alice that she was, she told me that she and Jasper had met only to prepare themselves for something better, Bella and me. I smiled at that thought but I knew that she still felt a little jab of the past lingering and that was perfectly normal, almost human.

Rosalie, the golden haired sister of Alice had worn a flowy long gown that emphasized her long frame with a low cut in front. Emmett must be drooling now.

Now we move on to Esme and Carlisle. They were by far the coolest parents I have ever met. They never judged and always understood their _children. _They were standing by beaming with pride.

Emmett was the presider of the ceremony. It's actually funny that they chose him but I guess they wouldn't have it the other way.

Edward… well, I feel bad for the guy. His was the picture of a walking contradiction. One look at him and you'll see emotions coursing through his eyes though that straight face of his. He was the best man. I'm sure it's hard for him to let Bella go. But there was understanding on his aura. I hope something good happens in his life.

Jasper, the lucky groom. He was fidgeting all over, trying to get calm, brushing off and running his hands on his honey blonde hair. You cannot also blame Bella for choosing him. One look at him and you can see he has eyes for only one, for Bella alone. And you can _feel _it. You can truly feel the love he had for Bella. And when Bella walked towards him, he was glowing with nothing but the pureness of love. His eyes never left her.

Bella, the bride was hands down the most beautiful here. Her eyes were still holding a reddish tint from her recent transformation but they ran deep with nothing but care and devotion to the man she was going to marry. She was wearing an intricately beaded silk white gown that was off shoulder yet detailed with lace and diamonds sewn into it and a train of white followed her. There was also a large red satin ribbon tied to her waist to keep up with the theme and she was holding on to fresh cut roses of the deepest red. But the most striking accessory she wore amid her veil and tied up hair, she had a smile so bright so sure and so exultant that it was hard not to smile with her.

Now we go back and watch the ceremony.

They were saying their vows at this point.

**Bella's POV:**

Walking down the aisle to meet my husband to be was nothing I have ever imagined happening to me. And now, I waited for his vows but he smiled at me and did something that made me want to cry from joy.

Jasper took my hands and started to sing.

_When I see your smile,  
Tears run down on my face.  
I can't replace.  
And now that I'm stronger, I have figured out,  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.  
And I know I'll find deep inside me,  
I can be the one._

_I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)  
I'll stand up with you forever.  
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

_It's okay,  
It's okay,  
It's okay-ay-ay-ay-ay_

_Seasons are changing,  
And waves are crashing,  
And stars are falling all for us.  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,  
I can show you I'll be the one_

_I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)  
I'll stand up with you forever.  
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

_'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,  
My true love, my whole heart.  
Please don't throw that away.  
'Cause I'm here... for you!  
Please don't walk away and,  
Please tell me you'll stay... here!_

_Whoa-oh!  
Stay!  
Whoa-oh!_

_Use me as you will!_

_Pull my strings just for a thrill!  
And I know I'll be okay,  
Though my skies are turning gray! (gray! gray!)_

_I will never let you fall!  
I'll stand up with you forever!  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!_

_I will never let you fall!  
I'll stand up with you forever!  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!_

"Bella, I love you, I love you, I love you and I promise to take care of you, and make you happy every day of our existence. Now take this ring, as a sign of my unwavering love for you and a sign of my devotion to you." He slid the ring effortlessly on my finger.

I smiled so wide.

Emmett then motioned for me, "Bella, the rings…" he said and Alice handed me Jasper's ring.

"Jasper, you came and went into my life like a soft gentle breath of fresh air of everything I needed, everything I wanted in my life. You always told me to just say what I wanted, say what I needed and I know now in every fiber of my being that you are all I need in this life. You are everything to me. You gave me heaven when I was in hell. Now let me help you get some of your heaven back. I love you. Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity to you everyday of forever." Then I slid the ring on his finger and saw the softest expression he ever had and felt the intensity of his love again, pouring in and pouring out.

**Edward's POV**

_And so it is  
Just like you said it would be  
Life goes easy on me  
Most of the time_

This wedding… is what I hoped it to be, but… there was one thing I wanted to change… I wish I was the groom. Life was easy for me, too easy until she came into my life and I was pulled in. But I had no regrets. I hadn't. I had to be happy for them.

_  
And so it is  
The shorter story  
_

_No love, no glory  
No hero in her sky_

She has chosen already. And I can see the certainty in her eyes as well as Jasper's that it hurt because this was the truth. The glory in my love… where was that?

_I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes..._

When she walked that aisle, I almost forgot that she was marrying Jasper. She was beyond beautiful and wore that glorious smile on her face that glowed brighter with each step she took towards our direction. I couldn't take my eyes of off her.

_  
And so it is  
Just like you said it should be  
We'll both forget the breeze  
Most of the time  
And so it is  
The colder water  
The blower's daughter  
The pupil in denial_

I almost reached out and grabbed her but then when Jasper moved to meet her I swallowed hard. So it is. It was them who were getting married. This was should be. I'm just holding on to feelings. I'm just holding on for something I can't have anymore.

_I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I can't take my eyes..._

I smiled. I am happy for them. They deserve to be happy. This is what Bella wanted and she should have it. No matter what.

_Did I say that I Loathe you?  
Did I say that I want to  
Leave it all behind?_

I bowed out gracefully. Twice at that. But I never loathed her, never said that I wanted to leave it all behind. This is me being understanding. This is me being supportive.

I_ can't take my mind off of you  
I can't take my mind off of you...  
I can't take my mind off of you  
I can't take my mind off of you  
I can't take my mind off of you_

I sighed inwardly as Jasper sang Bella his vows… and heard Bella's sincerity in her vows. But I know that I will never forget Bella. She changed me. She's changing me still.

_I can't take my mind...  
My mind...my mind...  
'Til I find somebody new_

Maybe until I find somebody new.

**Jasper's POV**

Hearing what Bella said… it made me swell of joy. I loved her so much. Everyone in here was in awe though of course I felt Edward's pain and I'm grateful for him for letting me have Bella. Bella is like no one I have ever met before. She is so special and precious. I'm sorry for Edward. I hope that he finds happiness as well. But right now, this moment, this… her…. Us… this was our moment, Bella and I.

"Do you Jasper Whitlock Hale take Isabella Marie Swan to have and to hold, til death do you part?" Emmett prompted and I looked deeper into Bella's eyes and a smile formed on my lips as I said, "I do."

"And do you Isabella Marie Swan, take Jasper Whitlock Hale to have and to hold, til death do you part?"

She smiled at me and I grinned inwardly as she said, "I do."

"Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Emmett beamed.

_And how!_

I lifted Bella's veil and held her delicate face gently in my hand and leaned down to give her our first kiss as husband and wife. She was now mine, and I was hers. We are one.

* * *

**Bella's POV (present time-continuation of the first part where Bella and Jasper were laying out flowers)**

I leaned on Jasper's chest and he immediately encircled me in his arms and kissed my head. We were saying good-bye for the last time now. Here we were in his special place, dusk was settling and the sky was changing and stars were emerging, shining bright in grieving.

Though we were saying goodbye he'll never leave us. He would always be around.

_My hands are searching for you  
My arms are outstretched towards you  
I feel you on my fingertips  
My tongue dances behind my lips for you_

I could feel him. I could feel him around us… around me… there was so much I needed to say to him… how grateful I was for meeting him… but we're saying goodbye now. We're saying goodbye.

_This fire rising through my being  
Burning I'm not used to seeing you_

I was mad. We were all mad at what happened but strangely we felt relieved at the same time. But then, this was still bittersweet.

_I'm alive, I'm alive_

I'm alive. Alive into a new existence. While I am still here… while we were still here… we had to do our best to live our lives.

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

His presence is so intense I could hardly breathe. This is hard but we were all healing right now. So we have to finally say our goodbyes._  
_

_My hands float up above me  
And you whisper you love me  
And I begin to fade  
Into our secret place_

He said he loved me and he left still loving me. He would always be a part of me. There were still parts of me he held. But I never regretted my decision.

_The music makes me sway  
The angels singing say we are alone with you  
I am alone and they are too with you_

Jasper allowed me moments alone to grieve. That's why I loved him more. He understood me. He gets me. And I also knew he needed time alone to grieve as well.

_And so I cry  
The light is white  
And I see you_

I will miss him. I am missing him. But we had to say goodbye.

_I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

The sky was growing darker now and the world was silent in elegy.

_Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Now you own me  
All I am  
You said you would never leave me  
I believe you  
I believe_

There was a time… there were moments before all of these that he said he would never go and leave me and he owned all of me and I believed him. But this was the second time he's leaving. The first was because he thought of what's best for me… and now… because this is what's best for him. But I know in my silent heart that he's never really leaving because some of him is still in my heart.

_  
I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healed_

"Bella, it's time." Jasper whispered and I sighed heavily.

I looked down and finally spoke to the one we were saying goodbye too.

"Goodbye, Edward. We love you. We hope you're happy now."

And the sun was gone replaced by the blanket of darkness with the solitary exception of the bright full moon that was exceptionally shining down on him like an exception that the wolves have given us for this time only.

We said our good-byes to him on his special place.

Here in his meadow,

Underneath the stars,

Underneath the moon,

From twilight to night,

What remains of him

Were ashes scattering in the breeze.

"Rest in peace." I said softly.

Then in slow movement, Jasper and I walked away, the marble containing his epitaph shrinking in the distance with each slow moments we took… towards a new tomorrow.

I looked up at my husband and he smiled at me in his understanding nature and I felt compelled to smile back at him.

"He's in a better place right now. This would've been what he wanted to do… as a parting gift for us… peace…" Jasper said softly.

"I know. You're right." I agreed.

He kissed my head and held me close to him and said.

"Let's go home."

And I felt whole again with the promise of new life with Jasper. We were going home. We were going to live our lives, though stigmatized, we were going to live our lives still.

To just live is what everyone should do.

To just live is what everyone should be.

To just say, say what you need, reach out and take it is what people should learn.

So now I'm saying.

"All I need."

* * *

**AN: To start with, the first song is 'The Day You said Good night' by Hale, then 'Your Guardian Angel' by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, 'The Blower's Daughter' by Damien Rice, and finally 'All Around Me' by Flyleaf.**

**Well, peepz that's the end of this story! Yay! Finally! Sorry it took long but I had loads to do and I also got sick from that and this was hard to write, I honestly cried.**

**Oh, I won't tell you how Edward died and leave it up to your imagination in respect to his privacy. I don't think I can write it, it's too painful.**

**And of course, I know that some were hoping that Bella chose Edward so I put up a poll asking you guys if I should make an alternate ending wherein Bella chooses Edward so everyone's happy. **_**See, I'm not that evil.**_** ;p Anyways, vote and tell me what do you think about this idea of mine.**

**I know this chapter was pretty suspenseful at first but I'm not the type of writer who just "puts it out there." I'm sorry for leaving out some questions like how Edward died and what's going to happen next but I had to focus on Jasper and Bella's wedding here and how they need closure and how they need to move on. Just use your imagination on what you think happened. You can do it!**

**So I believe, some thank you's are in order:**

**..First I would like to thank limewire for listing down "Say (All I need)" when I was searching for OneRepublic music and without which I would never have thought about this story.**

**..Thanks to my sister who was my critique and who pushed me to continue. Thanks sis!**

**..Thanks to regan94 for 'threatening' me to continue from the one-shot and all throughout the story and for reviewing all the chapters. She's a great writer as well. Read her stories!**

**..Twilightdaydream, who always addressed me by my real name which is cool, thanks for your views and for understanding my sentiments in writing this story. You were of great help.**

**..Thank you for my ex-boyfriend who is now just my best friend who gave me some inspiration (though this wasn't based on us so don't get any ideas!) and who accompanied me to some internet shops when my older sister had to use this laptop.**

**..And of course, thank you dear READERS for speaking out your comments, views and encouragement for this story and just for your time in reading this. You guys rock my world and push me to write better!**

**Unfortunately, I will be on writing hiatus for maybe two weeks to a month because I have a lot of college work to do as well as do some stuff for our college publication wherein I'm head of a committee as well as the copy editor then I am also enrolled in a review for the National Medical Admissions Test (NMAT) for December. I hope I pass so I wouldn't have to take it again on my senior year of pre-med (I'm still a junior hating this semester).**

**(I'm not old by the way, I'm just 19!! You read it right, I'm freakin' 19!)**

**..I'm in a time zone wherein summer had already passed two months ago and it's the rainy school season here so don't expect me to write all too soon.**

**Meanwhile, why not check out my other stories. Just Say was just done on a whim, but my masterpiece, "White Lilies" is what I really laboriously thought of for months. (EdwardxBella). I'm very proud of this and I hope you like it. It's a three-part story. The first is done, the sequel almost done (Silent Reverie) and the finale is in the drawing board.**

**So until then, **

**Keep Fueling Your Imagination,**

_**Margaux**_


	21. Alternate Ending Edward

**DEAR READERS:**

**I know that some people hate me for killing off Edward so let me explain as I have to a number of others I sent messages to.**

**From what I wrote I was left with two choices**

**One, create a character for Edward.**

**Two, let him go and rest in peace.**

**The first option I vehemently detest because if it's not Bella, no one will do for Edward and I know how a lot of readers hate original characters involved with Edward. So I had to go with door number two. Edward has lived long enough and gone through so much already that letting him go and have some peace was what I decided so everyone can move on and he wouldn't have to put up with the pain for all eternity anymore.**

**So I hope that clears things. Thanks for reading my story. Here's the alternate ending (by popular demand), I hope you like it.**

**KFYI,**

**Margaux**

* * *

**Alternate Ending: All It Takes**

I have two equally wonderful men in front of me. One my crimson-haired Greek God and the other, my golden-haired angel. I took a moment to gather myself, cast away my doubts, throw away my guilt and finally open my mouth to say.

"First of all… I am immensely grateful for all the love you've both given me. Edward…" I looked at him and he smiled at me.

I smiled back and continued.

"Edward, whenever I'm with you, I always felt secure and protected. You always went out your way just to give me you think is best for me. You always thought about me. And I'm touched that you would say that you were willing to do whatever it takes to keep us together. When you were gone, you took half of me with you. I died when you left. That's how I value us. I felt nothing without you."

Then I looked at Jasper and he smiled.

"Jasper, you were like an angel to me. You didn't only get me out of my personal hell but you made me see heaven. I love how you always knew what I needed and pushed me to get it. You have taught me many things. And you helped mend the pieces of my heart. No. You gave me half of yours to fill the gaping hole in my being. I am forever grateful for that."

Then I looked at them both.

"But I know who I want to be with forever. I know who I can't live without."

They looked at me with anticipation.

Then I smiled at him and his eyes glowed.

"It's you I love."

Then he enveloped me in his arms and kissed my hair, my forehead, my nose, my lips then pulled out and embraced me tighter.

And I grinned.

Yes, I needed my constant savior, my Greek god.

"I love you Edward."

**Edward's POV (1 year after Bella's decision – present time)**

I looked at my beloved's forlorn figure and I wanted to die. I pulled her to me and kissed her head. "This place you found is beautiful, love."

She sighed heavily. "Beautiful… perfect… for goodbye…"

I felt a jab at my heart. "It's our final parting, love. It's what he needs… it's what we all need."

She nodded once then moved towards the shallow waters and waded through it, holding out some flowers.

"It's just so hard to say goodbye… you know? Like what happened to us… I had to see you leave… twice… that was damaging… and now… I had to say goodbye to him as well… it's just… too hard…" she said heavily.

I went to her side and touched her face. "Bella, I am sorry for ever leaving you and for causing you too feel this way about goodbyes but this… this is at least… our final parting with him… then we can go on living…"

She nodded once and gave a small smile.

"You're right. This is what we all need." Then we both looked into the horizon, and stars glimmered softly in the distance, paling against the sun that was already on it's way to rising. We allowed ourselves to immerse in tranquility with the soft billows of salt-sea air, the gentle crashing of water on the cool boulders and the gentle cawing of seagulls. The air of farewell hung in the atmosphere that enveloped us. This was indeed a final goodbye.

**Jasper's POV (Flashback just after Bella's Decision):**

_I'm leaving  
I'm buckling tight_

With nothing but a smile and graceful acceptance of defeat, I left. When Bella said Edward's name, I thought, well, maybe this was how it's supposed to be. I knew that I had done the right decision of brining Edward back. I knew it. She made a mistake of calling out my name from out of her unconscious state. She really had meant to say Edward's name. Not mine. So I'm leaving.

_  
I turn on the radio  
I'm driving out of sight  
And i'm in the freeway_

I am happy for them both because I felt their happiness. But I am hurt. I'm hurting. I'm hurting. I closed my eyes and continued to just drive of.

_The lights are lost in your eyes  
Things have been said_

I remembered what Bella asked me, "What if we're not meant for each other as well?" And I remember the brilliant answer that I gave her that now will forever haunt me. I told her, "So? Then make a mistake with me." and that's what did happen.

_I'm lost in my head  
It's time to go home  
_

I sighed heavily and ran a hand on my bangs. The inevitability… like most stories, it's always the first choice, always the original, always…. Edward and Bella were the inevitable couple. They were made for each other. And I also remembered what I thought before that everything was a test. And now I can finally answer that the test was not mine and Bella's but Edward and Bella's. They succeeded. Now it was there time to reap their rewards. As for me? it's time to go home.

_I'm moving so fast  
I can't look back_

But where is home? That's another question. But I guess I can't go back now. She had already chosen, or rather that fates have already chosen beforehand and I was just a mere pawn. I chuckled without humor. I did fulfill my promise already. I promised Bella that if she still wanted Edward when he got back then I would bow out. And this was exactly what happened. What was I thinking?

_  
The streetlights are changing  
They mean nothing at all_

Everyone's changed through this, that's a given. But Edward and Bella… their love was stronger now. But I still wished that Bella chose me… because only I knew what she needed and what she wanted… not what I think she wanted but what _she…her…Bella… wanted… _And I always told her that. Now where do I go?

_Maybe i'm stranded  
I'm stuck in this place alone  
I look out the window  
Tomorrow help me find_

I'm stranded here. nowhere to go to. I'm forced to keep driving… keep moving on… I had no choice. I really loved Bella… from the time I checked up on her… I have seen her glory throughout her darkest nights. Maybe my purpose in life was to make people ready for their relationships. Like Alice was for Sebastian… now Bella for Edward…

Both double blows. Both excruciating. Add to this the other emotions in the world that I felt. This was all too much to bear.

_  
Let's call it a day_

_Let's call it a day_

_Let's call it a day_

_Let's call it a day_

I'm calling it a day. I'm going to some place where I can feel nothing but my own pain. My job is done. Now let me rest.

_It's over  
I'm turning off the lights_

It's over. Me and Bella. But as promised, I will still be there for her. But not right now. I'm tired. And I can't look at them right now. Looking at them, and seeing how right they were made me think of how much of a mistake I was… a mistake not of the wrong kind but a mistake that was necessary… one needed… _to learn._

_This day maybe filled  
I'm hearing of you  
And i don't have a clue_

I don't have a clue on where to go next and what I should do but I know that Bella's words would always ring in my ear. I knew she loved me. I knew she needed me. I knew that she regarded me. But…

But I also knew that Edward was who she needed, regarded and loved _more. _

_  
Tomorrow you'll go_

_Tomorrow you'll go_

_Tomorrow you'll go_

_Tomorrow you'll go  
Tomorrow you'll come_

So she'll go with him. She'll come home… _with him. _And I… I'll go as well… away…

**Edward's POV (Flashback Six months after Bella's decision)**

I kept smoothing out my hair feeling overly, exaggeratedly anxious towards this day. Being away from Bella for even a second made me paranoid beyond belief. I'm so scared of losing her again, I'm going mad! Please let this day be okay. Just for today.

Jasper, who was standing beside me, eyed me knowingly and chuckled then patted my back.

_You'll be fine._ He thought.

I read the thoughts coursing through his mind and I felt guilty. It was him who deserved to be standing where I am right now after all that he did for Bella. He loved her genuinely. He loved her. He loves her still.

Then he sighed, sensing my feelings with that unbearable power of his.

_This was inevitable Edward. You're wrong. You deserve this, you deserve her. Don't feel guilty about me. You too should learn to get what you want. Don't let her go again. _

Then, music filled the air and Emmett, our other brother, the big burly one in white right now made motion for everyone to stand up.

"What are you too girls yappin' about? It's time already." He hissed. Then he broke into a grin. A highly suspicious grin. "You two aren't planning on switching your roles at the last minute, right? Heh heh."

I glared at him and Jasper chuckled. That was very insensitive.

"_Emmett." _Esme… our mother warned and I smiled appreciatingly at her.

Emmett shrugged then smiled as doors opened and Rosalie came in first with a warning glance at Emmett amid her usual beauty expression.

But all thought left me when I saw her… and she was beyond beautiful! I had gone so long without seeing her face and seeing it now… with a smile just meant for me finally… looking doubly beautiful… I 

did the only thing I could do… smile and gape… She wasn't alone, Carlisle, my father, my maker, escorted her with Alice following behind carrying her train… then of course, Sebastian, was always with her, looking at her with pride was close by, aiding Emmett while holding out his camera.

At the start of the walk, all the tension lifted in the air and was replaced with excitement and love. My whole family was here. I couldn't be happier.

_This is your day Edward. _Rosalie thought. _Don't leave her again. _

_You almost didn't make it. Now you know how much you value her. Don't forget this. Congratulations, bro. _Emmett thought.

_Finally! I'm so happy for you both Edward. _Esme said.

Finally stopping and taking their places, Carlisle kissed Bella the way a father always did then looked at me and smiled.

_Now you can finally be whole again, son. Take care of her._ Carlisle thought and I sensed his pride in me.

I took Bella's hand, my eyes never leaving hers and we then shifted our gaze towards the front.

Then Emmett cleared his throat and started with his booming voice.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"

Yes. This was our wedding day.

**Sebastian's POV (outsider's pov-wedding):**

Today is the day I bear witness to a wedding between two immortals as well as act as their photographer. It was just recently that these people have me involved in their lives. Looking at this wedding that my number one, Alice had designed made me want to have a wedding of my own.

I chuckled.

Let me describe my beloved's handicraft as I take pictures.

Twilight. Yes this was an evening wedding.

Tonight we are here in my château in Paris. _Château la Claymore_ that's situated on top of a small hill with a lush view. We are here in my vineyard. The ceremony grounds were on a gazebo overlooking the green field with twisting of violets and reds from the plump grapes that twisted and hung laboriously. The aisle was covered with a velvet red carpet with small stars shaped crystals that held soft tiny lights that made everything sparkle and shimmer with baskets and baskets of dark red roses strewn here and there. There were ice sculptures of angels and nymphs that pointed to the altar and made a guiding effect with small lights embedded in them that made them glow like there were wisps of light in their core. Alice had wanted a heavenly effect against the darkness. Contradicting, and meaningful and 

exactly after the wedding, twilight would pass and the moon would be full. So the wedding is timed to end before the sun sets to signal the closing of a very hard period in their lives and also Bella's perception of Edward as her moon… her savior in the dark.

The motif was blue. Alice was the maid-of-honor and she was wearing a beautiful chiffon queen cut gown with a shade of azure that was set like ômbre and had a deep cut at the back and a structured oversized bow on her collar. She was beautiful. And she also felt bad about Jasper being hurt and well, partner-less in this event.

Rosalie, the golden haired sister of Alice had worn a flowy long gown that emphasized her long frame with a low cut in front. Emmett must be drooling now.

Now we move on to Esme and Carlisle. They were by far the coolest parents I have ever met. They never judged and always understood their _children. _They were standing by beaming with pride.

Emmett was the presider of the ceremony. It's actually funny that they chose him but I guess they wouldn't have it the other way.

Jasper… well, I feel bad for the guy. His was the picture of a walking contradiction. One look at him and you'll see emotions coursing through his eyes though that straight face of his. He was the best man. I'm sure it's hard for him to let Bella go. But there was understanding on his aura. I hope something good happens in his life.

Edward, the lucky groom. He was fidgeting all over, trying to get calm, brushing off and running his hands on his honey blonde hair. You cannot also blame Bella for choosing him. One look at him and you can see that he had learned his lesson and you can see how committed he was to doing whatever it took for them to be together. You can truly feel the love he had for Bella. And when Bella walked towards him, he was glowing with nothing but the pureness of love. His eyes never left her.

Bella, the bride was hands down the most beautiful here. Her eyes were still holding a reddish tint from her recent transformation but they ran deep with nothing but care and devotion to the man she was going to marry. She was wearing an intricately beaded silk white gown that was off shoulder yet detailed with lace and diamonds sewn into it and a train of white followed her. There was also a large dark blue satin ribbon tied to her waist to keep up with the theme and she was holding on to fresh cut blue-dyed roses. But the most striking accessory she wore amid her veil and tied up hair, she had a smile so bright so sure and so exultant that it was hard not to smile with her.

Now we go back and watch the ceremony.

They were saying their vows at this point.

**Bella's POV:**

Walking down the aisle to meet my husband to be was nothing I have ever imagined happening to me. And now, I waited for his vows but he smiled at me and did something that made me want to cry from joy.

Edward took my hands and started to sing.

_I'll be your dream  
I'll be your wish  
I'll be your fantasy.  
I'll be your hope  
I'll be your love  
Be everything that you need.  
I love you more with every breath  
Truly madly deeply do..  
I will be strong I will be faithful  
'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.  
A reason for living.  
A deeper meaning._

_I want to stand with you on a mountain.  
I want to bathe with you in the sea.  
I want to lay like this forever.  
Until the sky falls down on me..._

_And when the stars are shining brightly  
In the velvet sky,  
I'll make a wish  
Send it to heaven  
Then make you want to cry..  
The tears of joy  
For all the pleasure and the certainty.  
That we're surrounded  
By the comfort and protection of..  
The highest power.  
In lonely hours.  
The tears devour you..  
I want to stand with you on a mountain,  
I want to bathe with you in the sea.  
I want to lay like this forever,  
Until the sky falls down on me..._

_Oh can't you see it baby?  
You don't have to close your eyes  
'Cos it's standing right before you.  
All that you need will surely come..._

_I'll be your dream  
I'll be your wish  
I'll be your fantasy.  
I'll be your hope_

_I'll be your love  
Be everything that you need.  
I'll love you more with every breath  
Truly madly deeply do...  
_

"Bella, my love. I promise I will do whatever it takes to keep us together and I also **_promise to devote my life to being someone you can always depend on._**

"Before I met you… my life was like a starless sky and you came out like a shooting star, blinding me… and my eyes never adjusted ever since…

"I have always been that boy… Bella… that boy when I finally found the one, no… found you that I would drop to my knees and pursue you and make you mine.

"And now we're here… the hold that you have for me is infinite and unbreakable.

"Isabella Marie Swan… take this ring… as a sign of my love and fidelity,

"I promise to love you… love you everyday of forever…. Cherish you and protect you everyday of our existence until we cease to exist anymore but I'm sure I'd still love you even then…

"With this ring… take this and my heart along with it…

"I love you."

He slid the ring effortlessly on my finger.

I smiled so wide.

Emmett then motioned for me, "Bella, the rings…" he said and Alice handed me Jasper's ring.

"Edward, when I first met you, I was immediately drawn to you. I know in my silent heart that I cannot live without you. You are everything to me. You once compared my love for you as one tree to a forest but for me Edward, my love for you is there whether there are trees or all of them were cut down, my love would still be. You always thought about what's best for me even if it hurts you. it was always me. 

Now I am here, in front of you, in a white dress, ready to commit to you, to love you, to cherish you and make you happy as you have for me. Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity to you everyday of forever." Then I slid the ring on his finger and saw his beautiful crooked grin and eyes that glowed only for me.

**Jasper's POV**

_Strangely out of place  
There's a light filling this room  
Where none would follow before_

This wedding was what I hoped it to be and more… only… I wish I was the groom. I felt so out of place here. But I had no regrets. I am happy for them.

_  
I can't deny it burns me up inside  
I fan the flames to melt  
Away my pride  
Do I want shelter from the rain  
Or the rain to wash me way?_

I can't deny that I'm disappointed but I had to be happy for them. They were counting on me. I said I would bow out and that's what I did. They deserve to be happy… with each other.

_  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
You're all I'm living for_

But Bella… I loved her… I need her… she was all I was willing to live for. Looking at her now hurts me because she was so beautiful… she made an effort a great effort to look that way and carry the glow of love and pure joy for one and only one… Edward… not me…

_  
I might sound like a fool  
But I think I felt you moving  
Closer to me_

For a second I forgot that it was Edward she was marrying and I almost took her hand. But reality seeped in when Edward rushed forth to meet her. I mustered all the power I had to cover up my hurt and want so that I wouldn't ruin this day for her. Yes, for her. This was what she needed. And what she needed… she gets.

_Face to the ground  
To hide the fatal cut  
I fight the weight  
I feel you lift me up  
You are the shelter from the rain  
And the rain to wash me away_

Fatal cut. That was what's forming into my being. It was growing and consuming, growing and consuming… But one look at her finally happy face melted all that away. If she was happy then so was I…_  
_

_  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
(All I'm living for)  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
You're all I'm living for  
All I'm living for  
You're all I'm living for_

Bella is everything to me. If only she chose me, I would devote myself to her but what really hurts me now is that I know very well how this moment was what it should be. It's them. It's always been them.

_Face to the ground  
To hide the fatal cut  
I fight the weight  
Feel you lift me up  
Can't deny it burns me up inside  
I fan the flames to melt away  
My pride  
Only had a second to spare  
But all the time in the world  
To know you're there  
You are the shelter from the rain  
And the rain to wash me away_

I forced a smile when Edward sang Bella his vows. That's right Edward. Be everything she needed. Make her happy. Never let her go again. Don't make the same mistake twice.

_  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
(All I'm living for)  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
(All I'm living for)  
& I need you, I need you, I need you  
You're all I'm living for  
All I'm living for  
All I'm living for  
All I'm living for  
You're all I'm living for_

Though it's not Bella and me who ended up together, I'm still here for her. _Always._If being a friend is the only way I could still be with Bella then so be it. She was all I'm living for. I'll take what I can.

**Edward's POV**

Hearing what Bella said… it made me beyond exultant. I loved her so much. Everyone's thoughts in here were all about happiness and pride. They were all happy and relieved that me and Bella are finally together again. Of course I heard Jasper's pain running through his mind and I'm grateful for him for letting me have Bella. Bella is like no one I have ever met before. She is so special and precious. I'm sorry 

for Jasper. I hope that he finds happiness as well. But right now, this moment, this… her…. Us… this was our moment, Bella and I.

"Do you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen take Isabella Marie Swan to have and to hold, til death do you part?" Emmett prompted and I looked deeper into Bella's eyes and a smile formed on my lips as I said, "I do."

"And do you Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Anthony Masen Cullen to have and to hold, til death do you part?"

She smiled at me and I grinned inwardly as she said, "I do."

"Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Emmett beamed.

I gingerly lifted Bella's veil, placed my hands on her delicate face and leaned down to give her our first kiss as a married couple. She was finally and officially mine and I was hers.

**Bella's POV (present time-continuation of the first part where Bella and Jasper were laying out flowers)**

I gazed out in the distance and sighed. This was our final good-bye. I looked up at Edward, my love and smiled at him and he leaned down and kissed me.

"It shouldn't take long now." he said and I nodded.

"She's bringing him here now, right?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes. She's bringing him all right."

Saying goodbye to someone who did nothing but help you live and devote his time and existence to you was hard. once you've loved someone, he would forever be engraved in your heart. I would forever be grateful for him for being my guardian angel for quite some time. I loved him and I loved him still but we were better now. things are finally falling into place.

I miss him. I am missing him. But it was time to say goodbye.

"Bella, it's time." Edward said and I glanced back and saw Alice's figure closing in on us.

"Hello Alice, I thought you brought him?" Edward said.

"He's here." Alice said.

And I did see him in a flash.

"Well, we'll give both of you some time alone." Alice suggested and Edward nodded and they both disappeared leaving me with him."

"So Jasper, first of all, thank you for everything. I hope you find peace again and become whole and happy wherever you may go. We all love you and care for you. never forget that. So, I guess this is goodbye." I said to him.

A moment's silence.

"Of course. I hope you're happy now as well. but if ever you need me, just say and I'm there." Jasper said and he smiled at me.

_Yes. He was standing in front of me with nothing but genuine peace on his face._

"So goodbye, Jasper."

"Goodbye Bella." he said.

Then Edward appeared on my side and Alice on Jasper's side.

With no words between us, we all left in separate ways with nothing but a smile on our faces. Before I forget, Alice finally heaving helped Sebastian, came back and reached out to comfort Jasper and the rest is history.

Inevitability.

No matter how life defies fate,

Fate will find you

And make things right again

If only you believe and reach out for it hard enough.

Never give up.

Now with Edward with me and Alice and Jasper being together, we stand true as witnesses and testify that what's meant to be would really be meant to be.

No matter what.

* * *

**AN: Songs are "Toll Gate" by Hale, "Truly, Madly, Deeply," By Savage Garden and "I Need You" by Jars of Clay.**

**There you go. Ah, inevitability. Hehe. So Edward lovers, hoped you love the alternate ending. I bet you all thought I would kill of Jasper? Admit it! **

**No, picking Jasper was an unexpected choice after all and would entail a lot of loss and suffering that's why it was harder to write. Edward's ending was easier. Much easier because, well, Twilight is based on them being together. And since inevitability is the theme here, then of course it follows that Alice and Jasper be together.**

**A gentle warning. I would appreciate it if no comparisons be made with both endings. They are both special in their own ways and should be treated separately. Okay?**

**Thank you for reading my story. Hope you like it. You guys rock!**

**Keep Fueling Your Imagination,**

**Margaux**


	22. Say All I Need: Repost

**AN: Reposted my one-shot here. This is where it all started. (Some readers never really bothered to read my one shot prior to 'Just Say'** **and well, I can't have that so I'm posted it up here so people who have this story on alert can read it. Reading this oneshot is very important to understand where Just Say began.**

**-Margaux**

* * *

_Summary:_

_SONGFIC. Noncanon pairing. Set in New Moon, three months after Edward left. A last attempt to at least alleviate some of her depression, takes a drive away from Forks not really caring where to go when she noticed that there was a CD left in her not yet destroyed stereo. Whose is it? Why was it there?_

**Say (all I need)**

_Sigh. _I need to get out of here, anywhere but here… where should I go?

Hmmm… to mom's? I shook my head. No.

I was about to check a map Charlie placed in the glove compartment when I noticed something glinting on my stereo. _Right. _It's still there. I need to kill this stereo that _they _gave me…

I took out the CD. It's a blank CD… well, _was _blank. Emmett must've left it here when he was trying it. I shrugged and popped it right back.

The stereo should at least get its last hurrah before wrecking day.

I sighed then pressed play.

Hmmm… never heard this before…. Has a nice intro….

Then when the vocals blared I gasped recognizing who was singing.

_Do you know where your heart is?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Or did you trade it for something, somewhere, better just to have it?_

My forehead creased as I heard the lyrics… my heart? It should be with _him…_but now… I'm not so sure…I frowned… and I don't think I can find it….

_Do you know where your love is?_

_Do you think that you lost it?_

_You've felt it so strong but nothing's, turned out how you want it_

I know where my love is… at least I did… have I really lost my love?

I felt hot tears pouring down my cheeks. I just wanted to be with him forever. He said he loved me then he took it back…

_Well bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

'_Cause you won't let go, of anything you hold_

It's true… I can't let go… but I have to, I don't have a hold on _him _anymore…

_"Well all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head"_

_Do you know what your fate is?_

_And now you're trying to shake it_

_You're doing your best dance, your best look_

_You're praying that you make it_

I was crying hard at this point. I didn't know what the future held for me. I don't really know what to do… oh why did… why make this song? It's like this song was made for me but it couldn't have been…

_Well bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

'_Cause you won't let go of anything you hold_

_"Well all I need, is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head_

_Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head_

I stopped the car and rested my head on the wheel and sobbed and cried… just let it all out… Charlie… Renee… Jacob… Angela… _them_… they can't see me now… I'm allowed to cry once in a while…

_Do you think I can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it, better than you had it?_

_Do you think I can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it(yeah), better than you had it? (better than you had it?)_

My body shivered as pain covered every inch of my body, pouring out and pouring in… I am so messed up… no matter how hard I tried to hide it, I'm broken up into a million pieces…

_"Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head"_

_"Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head"_

If you were to ask me what I needed three months before… I would've said Edward in a heartbeat… but now I'm not so sure…

Maybe now… now all I want is freedom from this prison of nothing but pain….

I didn't want to feel pain anymore….

I didn't want to feel so empty…

So desolate….

So cold

But definitely not numb.

The air I breathe… and a place to rest my head…. That is what I need…

_Do you know where the end is?_

_Do you think you could see it?_

_Well until you get there, go on_

_Go ahead and scream it_

_Just say..._

As the song ended I got out of my truck and just ran…

I ran and I ran until I reached a cliff.

When I reached the end I cupped my hands around my mouth and screamed.

I screamed and screamed everything I wanted – _needed _to say.

When I was done screaming, I dropped on my knees and covered my face then cried my heart out.

"Why did I have to hear that song? Why now? Why me?" I said in between sobs. Then I froze as I felt a cold hand on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and raised my head and at once I was greeted by warm honey, topaz eyes full of concern. And a flurry of calmness washed over me and I collapsed onto the chest of my visitor, someone I least expected to see.

As he rubbed my back, he placed his icy hand on my face and raised it to meet his. "Did it make you feel better, or worse?"

I smiled at him and hugged him tight. I didn't care that he was who he was. I wanted so badly to see anyone of them, _anyone_. "I'm so glad you're here. The song made me feel sad but in a weird way, relieved. I knew it was you who was singing…Jasper."

He chuckled lightly, "I knew how you were feeling and I made this song just for you."

"Jasper why did you come back?"

"At first… I really meant to check on you…. I felt really guilty for being the catalyst for our departure… I had to make sure you were okay…"

"At first?" I asked puzzled.

He nodded, "Yes. I actually checked on you a week after we left and you never left my mind not once since then."

"W-was it because of guilt? You have to know Jasper that I don't blame you for anything."

He shook his head, "No. Not out of guilt. You see Bella… I… I have fallen in love with you I'm afraid…"

I gasped. I did not see this coming! But how about Alice?

"If you're panicking right now because of Alice, you have nothing to worry about…me and Alice… well… we found out that we weren't meant to be… she saw this coming." He explained.

"Really?" I said shocked.

He nodded again and brushed some of his blond bangs off his eyes. "That's right. And she also saw a handsome young vampire looking for her."

"I see… I don't know what to say…"

He grinned. "I wouldn't be surprised. But you know Bella, you look like hell."

I cringed, "Gah. I know. Sorry… things are so… painful right now…"

He touched my face and I blushed, my heart was racing. Why? "I know. I feel your pain… _really _feel your pain. It's so bad I actually want to kill myself. You should start to move on now…"

I stiffened. Move on?

He stiffened as well, "I'm sorry! No I didn't mean move on with me or any implications… I just meant that you should start being happy again…"

I sighed, "I'll try." He grinned widely. What's this? My heart's racing again.

He laughed, "Calm down, Bella."

"How? I can't trust my feelings with you here." I said glumly.

"Oh? You should. I'm not influencing you anymore, I swear."

If he wasn't then I? He laughed again. "This is embarrassing."

He shook his head. "You shouldn't be." Then he leaned down until his face was just an inch from mine. I held my breath as his cool breath fanned my face. Damn dazzling vampires.

Sensing my annoyance he chuckled, "Breathe Bella." And immediately I obeyed.

"So do you mean it?"

"Mean what?" he said amused.

I blushed three shades darker and faced away from him. "You know…"

He made me look at him again and his face was so near mine I could almost…

"Do you mean what I said? yes… I do love you Bella." He whispered.

Then his cold hard lips came crashing down mine and my body betrayed me again as I pulled him closer, kissing him back, my hands on his honey blond hair. My heart was hammering out of my chest.

I could feel him smile against my lips and he kissed me even more enthusiastically, pulling me closer…tighter… kissing me gently but not as careful like Edward was.

And for some reason… this all felt good…

I was starting to find my heart again… maybe Jasper and me were the ones meant to be…

We broke apart from our kiss so I could breathe. We were both panting but I was still confused.

"I'm… I'm sorry Jasper… I…" he placed a finger on my mouth to silence me. "Shh… I understand. I'll wait until you're ready… for anything…"

"Just…"

"Just?" I asked.

Jasper grinned again, his golden hair falling on his eyes again. He bent down and whispered in my ear, _"Just say."_


	23. love

Hello everyone!

My story "Just Say" was nomitated by an angel somewhere out there at the The Indies Twific Awards for Best Use of Music as Inspiration Complete. Please do vote for me if you love this story. Thanks!!! And super love to whoever nominated me. I super appreciate it. :)

www(dot)theindietwificawards(dot)com

Much Love,

Margaux


	24. HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE

**Dear Readers,**

**First of all, I would like to extend my sincerest apologies for not being able to update my stories. Being a college senior is hard and we had numerous consecutive sleepless nights doing our research work. Our proposed study would be the effect of humor therapy on young adult cancer patients. It's really eaten up most of our time and add to this would be my on-the-job training in a guidance and counseling department (100 hours). And now, here in the Philippines, we are facing a crisis recently, which is the onslaught of the typhoon Ketsana (local name Ondoy). We were among the fortunate yet affected ones. And now we're busy with helping our friends, classmates, schoolmates, family, and other people. Our school is busy organizing relief centers and donation drives. Being one of the student leaders, I'm doing my part by spreading the word getting contacts outside (I wasn't allowed to go out so sending donations and information dissemination is all I could do for now. As soon as I get the go signal, I'll try to run over our university and help.)**

**If you want to help, I've posted links and contact number you can go use on my twitter account. Follow me at margz29 (twitter account link is also on my homepage). Help no matter how small is greatly appreciated. Just by spreading the news, you're already contributing a lot.**

**Hope to hear from you guys soon… and I'll try to update as soon as I can.**

**Much love,**

**Margaux**


	25. Plagriazed

Dear readers,

The main reason why I'm not updating my stories is because of my undergraduate research work that, you've guessed it, takes half a year to do. Our oral defense is on the 18th and my team and I are rigorously preparing for that. Another are my applications to Med schools. I still have an interview and a test to take. Plus, I also have a publication to take care of where I'm still part of the editorial board (executive). So the plate's full. Bearwith me, After the defense I will continue my story.

Though I also have one good reason why not. Why? On January 25th, ysar sent me a message here in ff telling me that I was a victim of plagiarism. Someone reuploaded the entirety of "Just Say" and took credit for it. She even changed the title to "Jasper and Bella." Rest assured, because of ysar's help, the matter has been reported and dealt with. The story was taken down just this week by the administrator of the site. The story by the way, was uploaded on watpad. An ebook community. So I don't know how many "Jasper and Bella" ebook had been downloaded completely violating my intellectual property. I wouldn't have minded if I was credited or the alleged "author" informed me. The violator has been there since August so my story was probably there since last year and it was only now that I found out thanks to ysar. If it wasn't for ysar, then...

It's just really disheartening. I'm not her only victim. She took credit for almost a dozen stories. I just wanted you all to know. I'm still shaken by what happened. It's not flattering. It's wrong. We'll see after my defense if I can recover a bit. That violator ruined ff for me. I'm sorry.

Anyways, I'll really try if you guys are still with me. For those who are waiting for the continuation of Parachutes, the epilogue of Silence, the Loudest Sound, and the next chapter on iWish, if you really want to, I'll continue but not right now. Give me time. Thank you.

Margaux


End file.
